Brotherhood
by HollyPup
Summary: What would you do for the ones you love? How far would you go to see them again? No one can know for sure, but when family calls you have to answer. Please R&R!
1. Too Dangerous

Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own anything from Saving Private Ryan. I wouldn't mind owning Matt Damon though ;) lol

Note: All right this might prove to be a lengthy A/N so bear with me. This movie has existed for almost a decade, but I only just watched it a couple months ago. Now I've watched it almost daily for three weeks. That fact alone would have spurred me to write this fic, but it was also because the story appealed to me. This isn't just about the search for one man; it's about a group of guys as close as brothers fighting for each other's lives. But yeah, so anyway.

On another note I would just like to hit a few questions I know will be posed beforehand. I know that during World War II that even if my character managed to get out there as a medical aid, she would not really be allowed to go tracking around France with a squad of military men, however I like the element that a female character brings to the story and...I don't do male character well xD so if you don't like it tough, it's my story and this is how I chose to write it. If you do like it then you're my new favorite person and I luffs you! (tackles you)

Ok well, again I would like to thank **TvLuVa** for being a good friend and helping me out with these stories. Now read and review!

PS: I have another fanfic I'm seriously working on Four Brother and a Sister and I'm going to wait until I get Chapter 6 and 7 up till I work on this one again, so please review but don't expect another chapter real soon. But you never know with me :) lol

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**Chapter One: Too Dangerous**

An explosion went off only a few yards from him, sending one of the soldiers sideways into the water as he was pushed his way through the surf. Bullets were fired into the water all around him. Dozens of guys had already been killed as they landed. He passed many bodies as he made his way to shore as quickly as possible. The water was already turning rusty in color with all the blood. Another blast went off in the water near him, and he was thrown under water, briefly looking into the dead, staring eyes of one of the fallen. The solider came up screaming and doubled his pace. 

Everything seemed to be exploding around him; it was all he could do to keep his balance as he made it to the first barrier, the water just up to his knees now. There were a lot of guys around him, but most fell as their bodies were riddled with bullets, collapsing where they stood. The soldier fell beside others, trying to get as much cover as possible. The noise from the machine guns was deafening. Almost amusedly, he thought of how he had played cops and robbers with his brothers when he was younger, and how much they're miniscule "Bang, bang!"s paled in comparison to this gunfire as bullets continued to whistle past him.

"Move up to the seawall!" someone yelled, and a captain came splashing up not even two yards from where the solider laid, "Move up to the seawall, make way for the others!" Another soldier shouted over the gunfire that he was staying.

"Every inch of this beach has been pre-sighted!" the captain yelled in reply, "You stay here, you're dead men. Now let's go!" He leapt over the barrier, dozens of men following him, and was gone.

Private Sean Ryan continued to lay there, his mind in a whirlwind. His body told him to move but his brain refused to listen. He was suddenly wishing he were home, begging God that this was all a dream. But slowly, he got a hold on reality, and he felt his sanity get thrust back into him forcefully. As memories fleeted through his mind, Sean thought of his brothers, of his mother, of his friends. And he thought of his sister. What she was doing, what she had done, made his stomach turn cold. He had known for weeks, months even, but the truth, the reality of it, hit home right then.

He was on his feet in a hurry. He had to get out of this alive, and then he had to find his sister. He ran in the direction that the captain had run in. All he had to do was get up to that sand rise where everyone else was taking cover. He prayed that he would survive this, so he could save his sister and get her home. He was almost there, and for a few moments he believed her would make it, that God had answered his prayer. And then a bullet passed through his chest and exited out his back within the blink of an eye.

Sean Ryan continued running a few feet and then fell flat in the sand, expelling a few gurgling coughs as he lay there. The pain was so intense it almost felt like there was none. He lay there as the ground around him turned red with his own blood, and all he continued thinking about was his family, and his sister who by the Devil's will had followed him and his other brothers. How and why she did it didn't matter. His vision went in and out, and his mind grew foggy.

He suddenly felt a hand on his back, and a gentle hand turned his head. He looked up into a young face he could barely make out. He was able to see a red cross on the guy's helmet. A medic. Maybe there was hope after all.

"There's nothing you can do to save him!" a voice yelled, and the blurry medic was pulled out of Ryan's vision. He tried to sigh, but it came out as a choking cough. It was in the last few seconds of his life he grasped the fact that he was dying, and made a last ditch attempt to save the ones he loved.

_God, please protect my brothers, let them live through this. And Brittany, please protect... _And then there was nothing but darkness.

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_The recruiting office looked absolutely monstrous. Its windows glinted with the sunlight, looking like eyes that frowned without a mouth. There were only a few cars parked out in front of the small, wooden building, and it was a good guess that most belonged to the people who did the recruiting inside. It seemed like it was a slow day today._

_A young girl of average height stood outside, the blazing Iowa sun beating down on her. She was afraid to enter. After spending the entire day going to the handful of recruiting agencies in the area, she was starting to doubt the possibility of doing what she so desperately wanted to do. This was the last one she would go to. She was tired of being laughed at and sent back out the way she had come. _

_Just before she took the plunge she almost turned her back and headed home, but she pulled herself back and remained firm. She reminded herself of why she was attempting this, why this was her only option. She took a deep breath, and took the last few steps to the door of the building, and stepped inside. No turning back now._

_An air conditioner hummed somewhere, and she immediately felt the sweat on her lithe body cool. Just like the other two she had visited, there were pictures and plaques hanging on the walls, and she was again overcome with the supreme sense of pride that hung in the air. She knew she was doing the right thing. She stepped further into the building, where a man in the military clothing that had become familiar to her sat in a chair behind one of the two desks. She pegged him at about thirty years old._

_"Can I help you, miss?" he asked as she neared. He didn't sound particularly enthusiastic. More like he was bored._

_"Yes," she said, "I'm looking for some information on joining the military?" The sweet politeness in her voice left a bad taste in her mouth, but she was passed the easy part now. The man was sifting through some papers on in his desk, and handed her a small pile._

_"Of course," he said with a fake smile, "For you brother? Boyfriend?" _

_"No, for me." She could have laughed at how quickly that horrid grin left his face, but instead she just braced herself for the laughter, or even annoyance for being bothered with such a pointless inquiry. It ended up being somewhere in the middle._

_"You're not serious?" he asked incredulously. _

_"Yes, I am. Is this something I should be joking about?" He blinked at her, as though at a loss for words._

_"Miss, I don't think you fully understand what you're asking. We're in the midst of a World War. Even if it was policy for us to allow girls overseas, there would be no place for you out there. Everyday all the men over there run the risk of getting killed. Aside from other things, there is no way you would be allowed into basic training -"_

_"Because I'm a girl?" she snapped, cutting him off, "I could go as a medic. I'm sure you still need more of those." The guy shook his head._

_"It would still be far to dang-"_

_"Martin, shut up," a stern voice spoke, cutting him off for the second time. Both Martin and the girl turned to see another man standing at the other desk. He looked like he had been standing there for a few minutes, watching but not saying anything. He was older than Martin, probably nearer to forty, and he had a harsher look to him._

_"Sir, I was just telling this young lady that-," Martin began, but the other man cut him off._

_"I said shut up," he said. Martin shut his mouth looked down at his hands. The girl was still gazing at the older man. He was gazing back at her. He lifted a hand and beckoned her nearer to him. She walked over to him._

_"Why?" he asked her as he sat down on the front of his desk and folded his arms across his chest. The nameplate on the desk red Gen. Ron Boeing._

_"Why what, sir?" she asked, nervous but determined._

_"You want to go overseas, correct? Want to be a medic?" She nodded. "I want to know why?" That was a first for her. None of the other guys had bothered to ask why she wanted to risk her life. They just told her no. She wasn't sure if could really put her reasons into words._

_"All of my brothers are over there, sir," she began, her voice only slightly shaky, "I...I'm nothing without them here. I know the chances are slim that I'll see them even if I'm over there, but I'll at least be closer. That's all I want, sir." She took a deep breath and let it out, feeling almost relieved that she had told someone. General Ron Boeing looked at her a moment without saying anything._

_"Older or younger?" he asked. It took her a minute to realize he meant her brothers._

_"Older. All four of them." The general whistled through his teeth._

_"Four? Dang. Do you have any prior medical training?" She managed a smile._

_"I have four older brothers, sir. I know a few things." He laughed at that, slapping a hand on his knee a few times._

_"Yeah, I bet you do," he said with laughter in his voice. Then he became stern again. He stood up and stared at her for what felt like hours. She could feel him evaluating her, searching her for the right motivation. After a while, he walked over to Martin, who was apparently too stunned to say anything, and grabbed the handful of papers that he had intended to give to the girl. The general walked back over and handed them to her._

_"Alright, now listen up. I am leaving for France in three weeks. I'll get you a good medical trainer. If you're not ready by the time I leave, you're not getting over there, and you're not going to keep trying. Is that understood?" She felt a sense of accomplishment so great, she had to suppress the urge to reach out and hug the general. She managed, and nodded._

_"Yes, sir," she said, unable to mask the glee in her voice. The general smiled at her. Back over at the other desk, Martin grumbled something under his breath and busied himself with some paperwork._

_"Now," the general said, "You got a name, Private?" He seemed to add this last part to annoy his recruiting partner, and it worked._

_"Yes, sir. Brittany. Brittany -"_

"Ryan," someone said, "Ryan wake up." Their voice sounded so faint so far away.

Slowly, Brittany woke up. She raised her head up and emitted a loud groan, her neck feeling so stiff it almost refused to budge. She stayed in her half-raised position a moment longer, using one hand to massage her neck. When she was able to move without being incapacitated by the pain, she placed a hand on floor where she had been sprawled out upon, and pushed herself into a sitting position. She blinked a few times, rubbed her eyes, waiting for her visions to come into complete focus. She wiped at her mouth where bits of gravel clung to the drool lingering there. Finally, she looked up at the shape looming near her.

"Ryan," it said again, "You need to get up."

"Carver, for the last time it's Brittany," she told him as she began feeling around for her helmet, "We have a Ryan, and if people start calling us both by our last names its going to get mighty confusing. Now what do you want?" Her hand landed on the familiar shape, and Brittany picked the helmet up and placed it on her head. A red cross stood out on the front, in the middle of a white circle.

"Sorry, Brittany," Carver mumbled, "Captain Hamill says you're needed at the infirmary. We just got a guy in with a broken foot." Brittany, suddenly very awake, gingerly got to her feet and arched her back till she heard a satisfying pop.

"Where did the guy come in from?" she asked as the two left the abandoned church and out into the early morning. Brittany shielded her eyes briefly from the invasion of sunlight to her unadjusted pupils, and then lowered her hands a few seconds later. Not for the first time, she looked around her, and almost couldn't remember where she was. Then the answer would come to her, and her face would grow very somber.

Almost all of Neuville was entirely in ruin. The buildings that were still standing had chunks or entire walls missing from them. The streets were litters with concrete boulders and splintered wood. The infirmary was actually just a gutted building that was shielded fairly well from the elements, and provided sufficient cover to its occupants. Brittany carefully stepped over all the debris and then stopped as they reached the edge of the square. Carver waved at a few other soldiers and they jogged over, weapons at the ready. The square, was a very open space, and Brittany was had been instructed many times that she was not to carry a gun around, so she had to be escorted whenever crossing the square.

"Hey, Mac," she greeted one of the soldiers as they moved across the town square as one group. Private McCollum, or "Mac" for short, was one of the soldiers that Brittany had grown friendly with and fond of. The fact that he, along with most of the group, appeared to be fast developing a "thing" for her, was something she ignored most of the time.

"Hey, Britt," Mac replied.

"Do you know anything about this guy with the broken foot? Or why Barton can't handle it?" Whether some of the guys like it or not, Brittany was the best medic out of the two stationed in Neuville, but she knew that Captain Hamill hated to send for her when he knew she was sleeping. Apparently it was well-known that she didn't sleep well.

"Nope." He paused to scan the area as they passed the middle of the square, and then motioned for them to continue. "The captain just told Carver to go get you, even if you were asleep. My guess is there's something about this guy he wants to talk to you about." That had been her guess too.

"Yeah, but what?" asked Brittany thoughtfully. Mac only shrugged in response as they reached the other side of the square and everyone dispersed, leaving only Mac and Brittany to walk to the makeshift hospital wing.

Only two other soldiers were currently being bandaged and treated when the two arrived, not including the mysterious guy with the broken foot. Barton, the other medic, was currently checking up on one of the guys, Gorman, who had suffered a gunshot wound to his side. The bullet had broken through about an inch of skin, but the soldier was none the worse for wear. The other guy, Adams, Brittany was worried about, but she wouldn't let on about that yet. His gunshot wound had been a through-and-through, but it had taken them a long time to stop the bleeding, and infection seemed imminent. Brittany squatted down next to him before continuing.

"How you doing, buddy?" she asked gently, gently pressing her fingers around the bandages. The flesh felt unnaturally soft and mushy, and the wound was developing a pungent odor. Adams, who spent most of his time sleeping, groggily opened his eyes.

"Right as rain," he said in a mumbling voice. Brittany smiled at him, trying hard to show her sadness, and then stood back up. Captain Hamill was waiting for her, standing next to an unfamiliar guy who was on the ground wincing.

"Reporting as ordered, Captain," she said instantly as she stopped in front of them, standing at attention. She had been taught military protocol by the guy who had gotten her out here, and she intended to follow it.

"At ease," Captain Hamill said, and then gestured a hand at the guy on the ground, " Brittany, I would like you to meet Private Jason Walton." Brittany was on her knees already, pulling some bandages out of her pack, and carefully examining the guy's foot. It looked like an impact wound.

"He dropped in with the 101st." Well, that explained the foot. "Charlie Company, 506." Brittany froze in what she was doing, her hands inches away from wrapping the foot in gauze. She tilted her head up and looked at the captain. He stared back at her and nodded. She looked back down to the ground and let out a big breath. She started wrapping the guy's foot, her thoughts a blur.

"Is there something wrong with my company?" Jason Walton asked sarcastically through his pain as Brittany continued wrapping the bandaging around his foot. Slowly recovering from the mental impact, Brittany raised her head to eye level with him and gave a small smile.

"My brother was part of the same outfit, Baker Company," she told him, returning her attention to what she was doing.

"Really?" the guy replied, "What was his name?" She finished tying the bandage of, and sat back on her heels.

"James Francis Ryan." He thought about that a moment, and then shook his head.

"No, sorry, don't know him. They had the same rally point as us though." Brittany kept her face as neutral as she could, but inside she felt like her heart would pound out of her chest. Her emotions raced through joy, relief, and excitement before deciding to just mix together into an overwhelming bliss. She forced it all down, knowing that if she was going to get all emotional over this, now was not the time to do it. She stood up, thinking about going back to the church where she could be alone for at least a few minutes, but that plan was interrupted.

"Goddamn it!" she heard Barton shout behind her. Brittany turned to see him trying to hold Gorman still to change his bandages. She rolled her eyes. Over and over again she had told Barton that Gorman squirmed and to tell her when his bandages needed to be changed so they could do it together, but of course he didn't listen. She walked over and bent down to help him. He seemed to glare at her, but he let her help.

Later, Brittany trudged back to the church and sat down on the cold floor. She closed her blue eyes and leaned against destroyed pew. Guard duties had been posted for the rest of the day and through the night, Gorman's bandages had been successfully changed, and she finally had time to think. The entire point of her doing all she could to get over here to France was so she could possibly see her brothers again. Now, she had the information needed to search out one of them, and yet somehow she wasn't as excited as she had been earlier. Earlier the shock of it all had overshadowed her last memory of the youngest of her older brothers. She didn't want to see him. She couldn't. Besides, none of the soldiers here could be spares, so how would she even get to the rally point...


	2. Stay Put

Disclaimer: Yea, still don't own anything. Working the Mat Damon idea

Note: Alright, I know what I said about waiting till I could get some work done of my Four Brothers fic, but this story is just starting to become too fun to work on. I am actually quite happy with this chapter. The beginning is a little choppy, especially the memory, but the rest of it has a nice flow to it, and the ending I was really proud of. I think I pulled off what I wanted to do perfectly. Anyway, thank you to the two people who reviewed the last chapter. I hope to get more people interested this time around, because I love getting reviews.

Again I would like to thank **TvLuVa**. You have become a great friend and I'm beginning to love ya to death ;) We both amuse each other to no end, and I think that's great.

Alright, well enjoy Ch 2 of my spiffy story! R&R!

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**Chapter Two: Stay Put**_  
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_Seawater sprayed up into her face as Brittany Marie Ryan looked over the side of the rocking boat. She could smell the salty air, and could feel her stomach rolling along with the ship. She still couldn't believe she had succeeded in becoming a soldier. Well, as much of one as they would allow her to be. She stood in the bow of the transport ship dressed from head-to-toe in army-issued clothing. Her brown hair had been cut to about two and a half inches, and she now blended in for the most part with the rest of the guys being shipped over to France._

_The last two weeks had been the hardest she had endured since her brothers came down with the chicken pox and she had helped her mother care for them while they stayed in bed. Brittany had been dropped into medical training that had coupled as very mild basic training. She was shone how to set broken bones, treat for infection, trench foot, and how to stop general bleeding. Other things were added, such as tips from guys who had been in battle, treating wounded soldiers. There were several times that she thought she wouldn't make it, that she couldn't handle it. But she kept reminding herself of her mission, and she got through it. She knew she had to._

_The second major issue had been her mother. It took Brittany three days to tell her mother about what she was planning to do, and it would have been longer, but she had found Brittany's practice medical kit. The cat had been let out of the bag, and Brittany confessed to everything. Her mother had shrieked and yelled, saying how cruel it was that Brittany would even thinking of leaving her all alone. However, she calmed down and began crying, telling her daughter through tears that she was only scared for her safety, but that she understood. That had made everything OK, and Brittany had gone on with her training, glad to have her mother's support._

_Now she was on her way to war, slowly shaping her own destiny in this great campaign. She gripped the railing of the ship tight as they forced their way over a particularly large wave. She almost lost what little lunch she had eaten, but she managed to hold it in. Behind her she heard retching and knew that some of the other guys were vomiting. It made her feel a little better, knowing that she at least had a stronger stomach than some of them. A shadow fell over her from the right and she looked up into an aged face. She snapped to attention._

_"At ease," General Boeing told her, "And you don't have to worry about protocol on the ship, Private." Brittany knew he wasn't scolding her and just relaxed back into her position at the railing. The general joined her, gazing out at the water. _

_"Now listen up, Ryan," he said after a few moments of silence, "Because this is the last time I'll be giving you any advice." Brittany listened with rapt attention, but continued staring ahead. "I don't want to hear about you being pushed around. As far as everyone will know I'm your CO unless otherwise stated and everything you do, everything you say will come directly to me. Is that understood?"_

_"Yes, sir."_

_"Good, now on top of that I want you to never doubt yourself. I wouldn't have worked as hard as I did, and bended as many rules as I did to get you out here if I didn't think you had it in you. There is no doubt in _my _mind that you're stronger than half of the men on this boat. And you know what I mean by stronger." She nodded. "I'm proud of you." He paused, and Brittany slowly turned her head to look at him, puzzled yet pleased. She felt better than she had in a long time, simply because of those words. General Boeing smiled at her, seeming to know all this. He reached into his pocket._

_"Here, I have something for you," he said, "Hold out your hand." She did and he dropped a small metal object on a chain into her hand. Brittany looked at it, knowing what it was but still gazing at it in wonder. Her name shone up at her, embossed into the metal._

_"A dog tag, sir?" she asked with a smile._

_"Yes. Since soldiers normally get theirs when they're assigned a company I had to get one specially made for you, because you're going to be doing general work at the nearest HQ." She nodded, and then realized that the general wasn't finished. He had been holding his hands behind his back. "One more thing." He pulled out his hands and handed her a standard military helmet. She took it from him, the awe she had felt for the dog tag back. It felt somewhat heavy in her hands as she turned it over, examining it. On the front, a red cross in the middle of a right circle looked up at her. It was a medic's helmet. _

_"Thank you, sir," she said, still smiling. The general, who she knew had a rough side to him, gave her one last smile, and then went back to looking stern. He nodded and began to walk away._

_"Keep it clean!" he barked at her. She nodded curtly._

_"I will -"_

"Sir!" Brittany shouted as she stood up in the infirmary they had set up in Neuville, "Captain Hamill!" The captain finally turned around to look at her. The entire camp was in a frenzy, and Brittany was stuck in the middle of it. Hamill shouted orders at a couple of soldiers and then jogged over to where she stood. He looked older than he had even a few hours ago, and she felt for him. She wanted to just tell him it would be alright, but that was not why she called him over.

Sometimes it was easy for a lot of them to forget the danger of being stationed so far behind German lines, but they needed to stay positive, or they were dead. Every day and night guard patrols were assigned, and everyone did their job. Except today, when Sergeant Hill and a considerable handful of their men trekked to the other side of town to see how things were, and the enemy decided to make an appearance. The gunfire could be heard loud and clear on the town square side, and everyone immediately leapt and began running every which way. No one knew what was happening with Hill and the others, and no one could afford to think about it.

Now, Brittany didn't know what to do as she watched familiar people sprint past the infirmary, heads down and shouting at each other. It was chaos, and she suddenly wished she was back in Iowa, where her mother would hug her and tell her it would all be OK. However, she had a job to do, and she knew that now was the time to do it. She already had injured people to take care and with a sick feeling she knew she would have more by the end of the day. Who knew if Hill and the others would even make it back alive!

" Brittany, I don't want you to move a muscle," Hamill told her firmly when he reached her, not waiting for her to say anything, "You are to stay in the infirmary understood?" Even though she felt panicky and unsure of what to do, Brittany opened her mouth to protest.

"But, sir, I -" she began. He cut her off with a stern look and pointed a finger at her.

"No. You are staying here, and that's an order. You'll do far more good here than you will dead out there." He paused, his face suddenly softening. Brittany wasn't aware of it, but her eyes were shining with fear, but beneath it there still burned a determination to do her duty no matter what. "I just want you to be safe, kid. So stay here unless they break through, and then run like hell. Understand?" This was one of the moments where the relationship the two shared became vastly apparent. They had both found replacements for the holes in their hearts left by family back home, and the result was a bond akin to that of a father and daughter.

"Yes, sir," she said resolutely. As he jogged off to join the others as they dispersed, trying to find out what was going on the other side of town, Brittany returned to her medical duties.

Thankfully, Gorman's gunshot wound wasn't looking too bad, and in another week it should be completely healed. Adams, on the other hand, wasn't looking as good. She feared the wound was becoming gangrenous, and there was nothing she could do but try and make him comfortable. The smell had already begun affecting the other patients in the infirmary, so Brittany had carefully moved Adams to the other end, where the wind carried most of the stench away.

A half an hour later there was no change in the situation. Brittany had taken to pacing from one side of the infirmary to the other. Occasionally, one of the guys like Mac or Olivers (better known as Twist to his friends) would stop by, talk to her a minute, and then they would be gone. The obvious objective for everyone who was not injured or female was to find some way to get Sergeant Hill and the others with him back to this side of town safely and without needlessly killing anyone. All they needed was a plan to do that.

Now almost an hour since Captain Hamill had told her to stay put, Brittany sat on a piece of concrete in the infirmary where she had been confined. In her h and she had a fanned out selection of playing cards. When her legs had grown tired from pacing she had pulled up the "chair" next to Walton, the guy with the broken foot, and brought the old, worn deck from her back pocket.

"Got any threes?" she asked in a bored monotone. Walton examined his cards a moment.

"Nope," he told her with a shake of his head, "Go fish." Brittany reached for the pile of cards that sat on the other piece of concrete they were using as their table, but her hand froze within an inch of the cards.

There appeared to be some kind of commotion near the square. She set her cards down and slowly got up. Walton watched silently as Brittany gradually made her way to the other side of the hospital wing where Adams was. She wrinkled her nose at the smell, but it wasn't too bad. She saw that a large group of soldiers had apparently gathered on the left side of the square, looking like a solid mass of olive green. They all seemed to be talking at the same time, but she couldn't hear them from her position. She almost dared to disobey Hamill's orders, but in the end she stayed put like she supposed to. But damn it she wanted to know what they were saying!

Thankfully for her, Mac noticed her watching everything and extracted itself from the mild-mannered mob. He jogged over to where she stood. He was smiling.

"A runner managed to make it over here without getting killed," he informed her jubilantly before she could ask what was going on.

"Really?" she replied ecstatically, "That's great. So what'd he say?"

"Hill and the others are fine. The majority of them are still alive." Brittany's face fell slightly, and her heart fell a little more than that. The _majority_ of them were still alive? "And then there's something strange." Mac had continued talking. She perked up a little.

"What is it?"

"Apparently a squad of about eight guys showed up on that side of town about ten minutes ago. They're looking for our other Ryan, according to the runner." Despite what he was saying, Brittany thought something else. For reasons that would become clear in the next half hour or so, her mind was vehemently telling her that the unknown squad was not looking for Neuville's Private James Ryan.

"Mac!" someone shouted, and they both looked up. It was Olivers. "Captain Hamill is taking a couple of guys to see if they can't assist Sarge and the others in getting back over here. He wants us to guard this side of town while he's gone. He, uh, also said that Brittany is to continue to stay in the infirmary. No excuses." Brittany sighed, Mac nodded, and the two guys marched off to follow orders. Brittany was almost fuming, but she stayed calm, knowing that the captain was only looking out for her. But that didn't mean she had to be happy with it. She walked back over to where Gorman and Walton were.

"What's going on?" Gorman asked as Brittany squatted down beside him.

"A runner made it through," she answered, "Captain Hamill and a couple other guys are going to go try and help Hill and the others back, now that we know it's possible." She checked his bandages as he started going on about how he wanted to be up and fighting, and could tell it was time for another change. But, she just realized, Barton was nowhere to be found. She didn't trust anyone with the task of changing bandages unless they had been trained in medical procedures. She was **not** going to end up with another case like Adams on her hands. No, sir.

"I'll be right back," Brittany said to Gorman as she stood back up suddenly. He called after her, but she kept walking, stepping over bits of concrete. She passed the guy with the broken foot, who had been with them a full four days now, and came to the edge of what they called their infirmary. She looked left, then right, like a little kid getting ready to cross the street. She thought about her orders, and what Hamill had told her about not leaving unless the Germans broke through, but she had to find Barton. All seemed quiet.

With a deep breath, Brittany plunged into the almost empty street. She could see the soldiers that Hamill left behind, vigilantly watching, and with their weapons at the ready. They didn't seem to notice her as they normally did; they just stayed focus on their task. She looked all around, trying to catch a glimpse of Barton. Where in the hell was he? There was no where in this town to go. For a fleeting moment she entertained the thought he might have bailed on them, but as much of an asshole as Barton was, she knew he wouldn't sink that low. She stopped on the other side of the street, arms folded. Where in the hell was Bart-

At that moment the concrete wall of the building behind her began to explode as bullets from a machine gun raked across it. Chips of hard stone rained down on Brittany and she quickly fell to the ground, scrambling to get behind the wall in question, all within about ten seconds. She could still here the deafening roar of bullets as they showered down in the middle of the street. Brittany panted a few times and then checked the injuries left be the concrete. Just a few scraps and bruises. There was a sizeable gash on her left forearm, but it could wait. What the fuck was going on out there?

"Mac!" she shouted as loudly as she could, the only name that came to her mind right then.

"Britt!" the reply yelled, closer than she had guessed. She peeked her head around the wall and saw Mac and Olivers to her left behind a self-made trench of debris. She glanced in the direction the bullets had been coming from, and were still coming from, and dashed from her hiding place as fast as she could, and rolled into place beside Mac. She lay on her back, panting more heavily now.

"What the hell is happening?" Brittany asked him as she recovered and flipped over onto her stomach. Mac was staring up over the pile of cement and wood. Then he pointed with his hand.

"Look over there," he told her. She leaned closer so she could see where he was looking. "See them?"

"Yeah," she said with a large sigh. There were about three or four German soldiers positioned near one of the caved in buildings. They had probably broken of from their group to scout out the rest of the town. "Why can't we just take them out? They're not entirely well hidden." Mac sighed. Not a good sign.

"Captain Hamill told us to guard this side of town. We dispersed when he left. There's only me, Olivers, and about two other guys near enough to get at them. Hey, why aren't you wearing your helmet?" He looked thoroughly alarmed and Brittany reached up to touch her head. She felt only hair.

"Shit," she swore loudly and sighed. She had left it in the infirmary, and that suddenly led her to a more frightening thought. She caught Olivers staring at her in surprise while Mac fired a couple of shot in the direction of the Germans. She rolled her eye. Just because she was a girl didn't mean she didn't know how to swear like a guy.

"I left it in the infirmary," she explained, "Look I have to get back and get Gorman, Adams, and Walton under cover. You gather a couple of guys and get those Germans taken out or we're all dead." That was a little melodramatic, but she had to get them moving. She began to crawl out of the hole on the debris, but Mac grabbed her arm.

"Britt," he said, "I don't like the idea of letting you go out there by yourself." She stared at him, her hands in place to haul herself up.

"I'd let you do it," she told him simply, and without another word she was up and running across the street.

Bullets whined past her head and she was forced to veer off course and slam down behind another slab on concrete. She peeked behind her, and was relieved to see Mac edging along the other side, rallying the surviving soldiers. For the first time, Brittany was aware of the few dead bodies that lay in the streets. Her chest tightened, and she had to fight to keep from thinking about who had perished.

"Alright, Brittany," she murmured to herself, "You can do this. The infirmary is just a few yards to your right. You can-" That was when she heard a shout that sounded familiar and looked to Mac and a few other guys racing up the street, and then diving to the side. She smiled a rare thing in this despairing environment. She watched them dive into another dip in the debris, and this time they were in perfect firing range. She took a deep breath. It was now or never.

Brittany jumped to her feet, and this time crawled carefully out of her hiding place and towards the infirmary. She could hear the others were near victory. She was almost to the safety of the hospital wing, when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye, and realized one of the bodies she had presumed dead and slowly trying to crawl somewhere. It was Barton. She hurried over, doing the instant check over she had learned. He had a bad gunshot wound to his thigh. He had lost a lot of blood and was barely able to speak.

"Help...me," was all he could really say. The two of them had had their differences, but they were not bad enough that she would leave him here. She grabbed a strap to his backpack and began dragging him the short distance to the infirmary, her exhaustion beginning to take its toll. In the distance, she heard one of the guys say something like there were "only three dead Germans", and "where was the forth?"

Almost directly after that she heard another volley of bullets and felt her arm jolt as they slammed into Barton's body. Brittany quickly let go and rolled away, grabbing the pistol that was tucked she kept tucked into her pants. It was the only weapon she was allowed to carry around with her. She cocked it and found the last German left tucked behind one of the buildings on the other side of the street. Her aim was only average, her experience consisting of hunting with her brothers, and only a few hours of training with General Boeing, but something guided her hand and when she fired the bullet went straight through the enemy soldier's chest before he could fire again. She watched him collapse, and then did the same herself, breathing heavily with her back against the ground.

She didn't have to look beside her, and didn't want to look beside her, to tell that Barton was dead. She just got up when she felt enough strength return to her legs and stumbled the rest of the way to the infirmary. Immediately, found her helmet and picked it up from where she had left it. It was more scratched than she remembered it and it was covered in dust. She used her sleeve to wipe some dust off of it, and then replaced it on her head. Everything was alright.


	3. One Man Show

Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything from Saving Private Ryan. Thought I _still_ wouldn't mind owning Matt Damon...

Note: YAY! I finally completed the chapter! Woot! God I'm so bad at updating these things O.o But at least I'm trying! That should count for something...Anyway, I hope you all like this chapter, its definitely a long one. The memory bit is a little more hurried than what I imagined but when I finished the larger part of the chapter I just wanted to badly to get it done that I took a short cut ) So, please enjoy and don't forget to review!

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**Chapter Three: One Man Show**

_Covered in dirt, sweat, and grease, Brittany dragged herself through the crowd of soldiers that occupied this position. She was in France, and a damn tough journey it had been to get here. She was heading back to the aid station, positively exhausted, but thoroughly aware that she still had duties to perform. She was turning into a damn good field medic, and she needed to take a look at today's patients for processing so they could moved on to England. She waved at a few guys as she made her way up the slight hill, the aid station being perched on the top. It was no more than a large canvas tent, but none of the men who were brought ever stayed long. Usually they just got a quick check up, a change of bandages if one was needed an then they were sent on to England. She moved the flap at the front of the tent so she could go in, and was immediately greeted with the familiar, pungent smell of blood and infection. One of the other medics looked up as she entered._

_"Ryan, good you're here," he said, getting up and hurrying over to her, "Where they hell have you been?" He reached into a back pocket and pulled out a handkerchief that he handed to Brittany._

_"Thanks, Grant," she said, using it to wiped the grease off of her face, "And I spent most of the afternoon trying to fix some of the broken down transport vehicles. Got a few to work but I mostly just got dirty. Then on my way here I must have got stopped by half a dozen soldiers asking me to take a look at them. I swear if I find the person who started the rumor that all German soldiers have syphilis I'm going to kill them. Anyway, you seemed anxious to see me. What's up?" She stuffed the handkerchief in her own pocket._

_"We got a large number of guys to process earlier today," Grant told her, "And you know the drill. Half of them are clamoring that they feel fine, that we ought to release them, but most couldn't run from the Germans even if they were blindfolded. The rest need to be processed as usual, and there's something you should know." He paused, suddenly looking at her with a strange expression on his face, and she could see him chewing the inside of his cheek as though he were searching for the right words to continue. "One of the guy's name is Ryan. I asked him if he had a sister, you know just casual-like, and he said he did. I wanted to wait till you got here, see what you wanted to do."_

_Brittany looked at him with a mostly blank look on her face. Grant had been kind to her from the beginning, unlike most of the soldiers stationed here. It had been hard those first few weeks, trying to fit into a place that was ruled by men. Most of them had ignored her, but there was the occasional boisterous soldier who decided to voice his opinion of having a woman around. She had been tripped while walking, spat at, but she hadn't let any of that break her down, and after a while they had stopped. She appreciated the steps Grant had taken to to make sure she was the first to be aware of the situation, putting the control in her hands instead of another's. He knew he situation same as everyone else. There was no telling what one of the soldiers who had it out for her would have done. She took a deep breath._

_"Where is he?" Brittany asked him._

_"Number forty-four," he answered simply, "I'll start processing the others." He set off in his direction, as she set off in her's._

_The cots all had numbers on them, from one to a hundred. This made it easier for the medical personnel to keep track of everyone. As Brittany walked slowly down one of the aisles, her mind wandered to thoughts of her brothers. She had almost forgotten that they were the reason she had come overseas in the first place. She had been here for several months now, and not a single bit of news about them had come her way, so instead she had focused her energy on the job at hand, to make a place for herself amidst the chaos. She had managed to do just that, but just barely. Now the very thing she had been waiting for had come, and she wasn't sure whether she felt good about it. She had not thought about how any of her brothers would react if they ever saw her. They would freak out no doubt. As she approached cot number forty-four, Brittany immediately recognized the face of the soldier sitting up on it's surface, and there was no way she could contain herself._

_"Sean!" she shouted as she dashed forward and threw her arms around her brother before he even had time to react. _

_"Brittany?" she heard him exclaim as he pushed her back to look at her, "What in God's name are you doing here?" Brittany smirked a little._

_"Well, what does it look like I'm doing?" She stepped back so he could see her entire uniform. If not for her most obvious feminine features she looked more or less like any other American soldier. Sean stared at her, mouth agape._

_"I don't understand," he said slowly, shaking his head, "How?" Brittany stopped smiling and sat down on the empty cot next to his._

_"I just couldn't live without you guys," she told him earnestly, "I was determined to find a way over here and I did. I never thought I'd actually find one of you guys though. So what are you doing here? Where are you hurt?" For the first time she realized that Sean would only be here if he was wounded. Her brother looked down at his leg, which she guessed was the source of the injury. She quickly grabbed her kit which always hung at her hip and set to work while he told her what happened._

_"Me and a couple other guys went on a scouting mission and ran into a few Germans. We managed to get away alright but I got hit in the leg. Hurts like a bitch I can tell you. I kept trying to tell them that I was fine, that I didn't want to leave the unit, but they insisted I be evacuated." Brittany saw him watching her with amusement as she examined the entry wound. The bullet was still in there, she could feel it. If she could get it out, the wound should heal up in no time. She grabbed her tweezers from her kit and looked up at Sean._

_"This is going to hurt," she told him honestly, "But if I get it out you should be able to go back." He stared at her a moment, as though briefly thinking about how absurd this was, his sister tending to his battle wound, but he finally nodded. She took a deep breath, and dug her tweezers in the entry wound. Sean opened his mouth in a shout of pain._

_"Jesus -"_

* * *

"Christ!" Mac cried as Brittany pressed down hard on his shoulder with her thumb. She could just see the bullet that had lodged itself against his bone. It must have ricocheted off a wall, otherwise the force should have been enough to push the bullet all the way through.

The majority of gunshots wounds that were treated were through-and-throughs, where the bullet went in one way and come out the other. But just often enough it seemed to keep the medics on their toes, a bullet went in one way and stayed there. Brittany had been trained to remove the bullet from such a wound if it was life threatening, but in her entire military career, she had only removed a total of four bullets from a total of three soldiers, and only one of them had ended up surviving, regardless. So the fact that she was terribly nervous seemed completely justifiable. She took a long look at the bullet's position, and then reached for her kit. It was reachable. She could do it.

"Yeah, it's got to come out," Brittany said to Mac as she gathered the necessary tools.

"What?" Mac exclaimed in alarm.

"You heard me. Now listen, I need you to stay completely still." Or the bullet would shift deeper, she thought, but she kept that to herself.

The battle earlier, if it could be called a battle, had lasted no more than five minutes. There had been three casualties, and only Mac was seriously injured. Brittany had hurried over as the smoke cleared. It hadn't been hard to find him because he was screaming his head off. Quickly, she had him carried to the infirmary where business was suddenly booming. She had doused Mac's wound in sulfa powder, and then checked her other charges. Gorman was alright, Walton was mediocre, and Adams had gone from bad to worse. She hadn't realized he had such a high fever, and with Barton dead she was all on her own. Any of the other guys that had standard medical training were busy regrouping and trying to reform communications between their side of town and the other side. This just wasn't her day.

"Alright, it's out," she said after several tense minutes, punctuated by Mac's shouts of pain. She let the bullet drop to the ground, and used her sleeve to wipe sweat from her forehead. She bandaged the wound, and let him sleep. The pain and exhaustion were enough to put Mac out in an instant.

With the priority task out of the way, Brittany made her rounds again. Everyone seemed to need bandages changed, and she needed to get the cut on her arm cleaned and dressed, but of course, she was almost out of bandaging. She kept an emergency pack at the church in the case that she was unable to return to the infirmary where the other supplies were kept, so she got up, put her helmet on, and began walking quickly in the direction of the church. Her legs felt too much like jelly for her to run anywhere, and the square side of town was pretty much back to normal. Everyone was still a little shaky, but Captain Hamill was bound to be back soon, with or without Sargent Hill.

As she walked her legs slowly felt more stable, and Brittany started jogging a little bit. She slipped into the large church through the wide opening in one of the side walls. Her emergency pack was right where she had left it that morning. She snatched it up, and then jogged back out of the building, picking up her speed now. Her discomfort meant very little to her at this point. Her muscles were throbbing mercilessly, and every time the fabric of her uniform rubbed against the gash on her arm it felt like it bled anew. But she ignored it all. Her focus was on getting the supplies in her pack back to the infirmary, so it was not a surprise when she plowed right into someone.

"Hey why don't you watch where the hell you're going?" the guy yelled at her. Normally, Brittany would have ignored him and continued on, but her stress level was high, and it felt like her adrenaline was still pumping a mile a minute. That and her pack had dropped to the ground. She looked up at the guy as she picked it up.

"Why don't you watch where the hell you're going?" she shouted back, "You're taller than me." The guy had already shut up and was staring at her with a look she was familiar with. There were many women around the local towns and at field hospitals, but this was a hot war zone, and she was dressed as a regular soldier. She was used to looks of shock, surprise, and even disgust on occasion, but she didn't have time to deal with some gawking oaf. She took a deep breath, and realized she was still sweating.

"You're a girl," the guy said as Brittany wiped her brow with her sleeve again. She looked at him blankly.

"Observant," she told him sarcastically. She turned to leave.

"Private," called a firm voice. Brittany turned around and stared into the face of Captain Hamill. Sargent Hill stood next to him. How long had they been back? However long it had been, Brittany couldn't hide her relief. She smiled at Hamill.

"It's good to see you, sir," she said, too weary to stand at attention. Hamill smiled back at her.

"It's good to see you, too," he said, "Now what's the report? What happened?"

"Well, sir, we were attacked by a couple of -"

"No, I know about that. I meant what's our status. You look a little flustered." A little flustered didn't even begin to cover it.

"You know shes a girl?" the guys Brittany had run into asked Hamill. He ignored him, as did Brittany.

"Three casualties, and a total of 5 wounded," she began, "Not bad, considering. Mac was shot in the shoulder, and Walton rolled to take cover and re-broke his foot in the process." As she spoke, her voice began to become slightly hysterical, and she began to talk a little faster until she was basically venting everything out. "Now on top of all that, Barton is dead, so I am essentially running a one man show here. And unless someone with proper medical training magically appears in the next five minutes I'm not going to be able to clean Gorman's wound properly and we're going to end up with another case like Adams on our hands!" A little over dramatic, but not entirely untrue. Brittany stood there a minute, breathing heavily, but feeling a little better than she had before. Hamill stared at her a moment.

"As you were," he said simply.

Brittany let out another sigh and nodded, her eyes telling him thank you. She adjusted her grip on her backpack and turned to leave again. Barely three steps later, she ran into another unfamiliar soldier, and her pack dropped to the ground again. She cursed under her breath and quickly picked it up.

"Jesus Christ!" she said irritably, "You people really don't know how to watch where you're go-" She stopped mid-sentence, suddenly staring intensely at this new stranger. His helmet was identical to hers, and she never thought she would be so happy to see that scratched red cross in her life.

"You're a medic?" Brittany asked in disbelief. The guy nodded.

"Yeah," he answered uncertainly. Brittany raised her eyes to the sky briefly.

"There is a God," she breathed, and then she grabbed his arm, "I need you to come with me. Now." The guy, who looked no older than she was, looked over at another man who Brittany would later know as Captain John H. Miller.

"Sir?" he said. Captain Miller nodded. Brittany didn't wait any longer and practically dragged the other medic in the direction of the hospital wing, her determination renewed.

When they reached the infirmary, Brittany's new found enthusiasm drooped just a tad. Somehow the number of patients had multiplied. She recognized two of the soldiers that had gone with Captain Hamill. They had been given morphine by their fellow soldiers and then dropped off. Brittany directed the other medic, whose name she hadn't even bothered asking, towards Kilburn who had gotten a large piece of shrapnel lodged into his leg. Thankfully for him it was fairly shallow. Brittany focused on Toles who had been shot in the abdomen. She prodded around the wound with her fingers, and examined the exit and entry wounds to determine whether the bullet had pierced anything vital. Her conclusion was indeterminate, so she poured some sulfa on it, slapped on a bandage, and sat back to look at the other patients. She was surprised to see that the medic she had pulled away from his group had moved on to another patient. This guy was efficient. She stood up and walked over to him.

"Hey," she said with a smile, tapping him on the shoulder, "Finish up and follow me." He nodded and looked back at what he was doing. She tapped him again, and he turned his face back to her, almost looking annoyed. "I'm Brittany." At that the guy actually smiled, the first time she had seen him do so, and it completely lit up his face like a little boy.

"I'm Wade. Irwin Wade." Brittany nodded and walked a few yards away to where Gorman was sitting with his arms folded. He eyed her warily as she approached, and she knew that he knew what was coming. Wade soon joined her and they both squatted down beside Gorman's heavily bandaged leg.

"OK, Wade," she said, suddenly all business, "I need you to get behind him and sort of wrap you arms around him to keep his arms in place. Gorman here has a tendency to flail around." Gorman glared at her. "Do not let go until I tell you to." Wade nodded his understanding and did as he was told.

Slowly, Brittany began unwrapping the bandages she had applied to Gorman's leg the day before. The wound had festered a little when he first received it, which was the basis for the regular cleanings. She was relieved to note that the smell had grown less pungent than the last time. That meant that it was healing properly, and that threat of a serious infection had grown even more distant. With everything else that was going on, this came as a great relief to her. She set the dirt bandages aside and grabbed her canteen, one of the rags she washed vigorously each day, and a fresh roll of gauze. Without a word she looked at Gorman's face which looked fearful, and Wade's face was determined and strong. With a sigh she poured some of the water from her canteen onto the wound and quickly pressed the rag onto it.

"Ahhhh!" Gorman shrieked, doing his best to wrestle himself out of Wade's grip. Brittany was pleased to see that he wasn't succeeding very well. Wade held him firmly, and Brittany was able to scrub the gash as much as she dared with the rag, all the while listening to Gorman's wails. She knew it was all for the better, but that sound always made her spin tingle. Once she was satisfied with the clean red color of the injury, she gently wrapped the new gauze bandages around his leg, tying them off and leaning back.

"Alright you can let him go," she told Wade, and he relenquished his hold on Gorman, who took a few deep breaths and then positioned himself to lean against the wall again, sighing with relief. Brittany mimicked him, giving a similar sigh. Wade moved over nearer to her.

"He always like that?" he asked softly, and Brittany tried hard not to laugh aloud. Gorman was a sensitive fellow.

"Yeah," she said nodding, "He is. Usually the other medic stationed here helps me, but since hes dead now hes not very capable of much."

She wasn't surprised at how easily she said that. She had definitely seen death before on many occasions. Death had almost become daily routine back at the HQ infirmary. People died every day, sometimes she could have prevented it, sometimes she couldn't have. Either way, she tried not to dwell on it, because to dwell on it would be allowing it to destroy her from the inside out. She couldn't have prevented Barton's death, sad as it was. So, she couldn't afford to let herself think about it.

"You got a cigarette?" she asked Wade after a moment's silence, looking at him wearily. He smiled a little and brought a pack out from his jacket pocket. She took one and let him light it for her. She blew a sloppy smoke ring and closed her eyes in contentment.

"Thanks," Brittany said to Wade, looking over at him gratefully, "I really needed one of these. And you were really great with Gor-" Suddenly, a cry from the other end of the infirmary cut her off, and she jumped in alarm.

"Mama!" Adams, the poor, infection ridden soldier shouted as he shot straight up into a sitting position. Brittany watched this with wide eyes before she threw down her cigarette and scrambled to her feet.

"Shit!" she cursed as she dashed over to Adams. She could hear Wade right behind her. She grabbed Adams and tried forcing him to lay back down, but he was thrashing back and forth in a crazed delirium. He seemed to think they were German soldiers trying to drag him away from his mother. Brittany had been afraid of this when she saw how bad his infection had gotten, but she had been helpless to stop it. Right?

"What do we do?" Wade shouted to her over Adams' crazed shrieks. Brittany shook her head.

"I don't know," she answered, "I'm not sure theres anything we can do." She sighed. "Give him some morphine." Wade looked at her.

"What about-" She cut him off.

"Just give him the damn morphine!" They stared at each other a moment, Brittany still holding Adams down, and finally, Wade looked away and grabbed a morphine syrette from him pouch. He gave Adams the injection, and almost immediately, Adams seemed to calm down. Brittany sighed with relief, knowing that the painkiller wasn't going to do him any good, and let go of the soldier. A minute or two went by, and then the convulsions started.

Adams started shaking and flopping like mad, his entire body looking like one big rag doll. Brittany was stunned for a minute and then she tried holding him still, trying to keep his head from bashing against the chunks of concrete. Wade fumbled with a package of Penicillin, but by his face Brittany could tell he knew as well as she did that it wouldn't do any good. Finally, with a last spasm, Adams lay still. The low murmur of conversation that usually provided a soothing background noise in the infirmary was gone, leaving a heavy silence in its place. Brittany stared into the once handsome face of her fellow soldier, and then slid her hands from his body, knowing but not wanting to accept that they weren't needed there anymore. She felt a single tear roll down her face and hastily wiped it away, taking a deep breath. She felt a hand on her shoulder and almost jumped out of her skin. It was Wade.

"It's OK," he said lamely, but she was glad for it anyway. He was a nice guy, and it seemed she so rarely met nice guys like him lately. At that moment, Captain Hamill and the mystery guests arrived. Brittany could see Hamill's eyes surveying the scene and she saw sympathy in them when they met her eyes. She looked away from him and glanced over the new people. There were seven in all, including Wade. There was the guy she had run into, and the guy Wade had called Captain. They all looked rather dejected and lost.

"How'd he go?" Hamill asked her after a moment. His voice was soft and gentle. Brittany took a deep breath, the grief already alleviating itself.

"Rough, but its over now," she said. He nodded.

"I need you to go try and calm Ryan down," he told her, returning immediately to business. Brittany sighed. Ryan, one of the guys stationed here in Neuville who coincidentally shared her last name, was a sensitive guy. He had broken down crying twice since she'd been here, and both times she had been the one to return him to normal. But right now she just didn't want to deal with it.

"What happened now?" she asked, almost whining. She saw Hamill glance over at the other captain, as though for help.

"We're looking for someone," Miller began, "The guy's name is Ryan, and we have some bad news for him. Unfortunately, we gave the news to the wrong Ryan." Then he stopped talking. Brittany stared at him a moment longer, her mind a thunderstorm in her head. The wrong Ryan? But, then could that mean they were looking for...

"Private," Hamill said abruptly, pulling her out of the thought before she could finish it, "I think some of the guys have Ryan under control if you're not up to it." All Brittany could do was nod, and Hamill nodded back. "Captain Miller and his company want to speak to Walton."

"Alright enough of the small talk," barked the guy Brittany had run into earlier, "Will someone please tell me why theres a girl in the middle of a hot battle zone?"

"Reiben, mind your manners," Captain Miller told him good-naturedly and then looked at Captain Hamill, "I was wondering the same thing though." Hamill smiled, and Brittany thought she sense pride in that smile.

"Gentlemen I'd like to introduce our top medic here," he told them dramatically, having fun with the situation, "Private-"

"Riano," Brittany piped up, cutting Hamill off, "My name is Brittany Riano. I was sent here from a headquarters here in France where I was a field nurse. That explain it enough?"

There were plenty of people in the infirmary, Hamilly and Mac two of them, that she had worried would ask her what she was doing, ask her why she had lied about her name. However, those who knew just stared at her, not saying a word about it. She would explain it to Hamill later, when she was able to talk to him alone. For now, she just got up, and led them all over to where Walton was propped up against the wall, his broken foot laid out in front of him. Before she could do anything, Wade was on the ground re-wrapping the injury, something she hadn't had the chance to do yet. She was grateful, and she took the chance to sit down on a piece of concrete and relax. Reiben, the prick, kept looking at her, but she ignored him. While Miller and some of his men chatted with Walton about something she wasn't listening to, Hamill looked over at her.

"You should get that arm bandaged," he told her. Brittany gave him a puzzled look and then looked down at her sleeve, which was stained crimson with blood. She had totally forgotten about that. "Come on I'll help you." She followed him away from the others and sat down on another slab of concrete. As ugly as they were, they definitely were convenient chairs. She rolled up her sleeves and let Hamill clean it. She didn't trust her focus right now.

"They're looking for my brother aren't they?" she asked after a minute of silence. Hamill looked at her intently for a minute then nodded. "What do they want with him?" She already knew, felt it in her gut, but she needed to hear it spoken. Hamill didn't look up from her arm as he answered her.

"They were sent to tell him that his other brothers were all dead, and they've been ordered to remove him from combat." Brittany could almost hear her heart tear in two, or make that three, as she closed her eyes and tried hard not to lose her composure. No tears came. She decided it was the shock. She took a really deep breath, but didn't say anything. Hamill was the next one to speak as he started bandaging her arm.

"I want you to go with them to the rally point," he said quickly and firmly. Brittany's eyes shot open and she looked over at him sharply, brows furrowed.

"What?" she asked, almost too loudly, but no one seemed to take notice. Hamill didn't stop what he was doing.

"My orders when you came here were to get you out of here if a safe opportunity arose. Those men are seven strong, and they're objective is to find your brother, and not only that but to take him home. What better opportunity is there?"

Brittany didn't answer immediately, she was too deep in thought. It was true. Those were Hamill's orders that had been given to him when she arrived. It was also true that she'd said frequently that if the opportunity to reunite with her brothers, or brother as it was now, that she would jump at it, but things were different no, weren't they? She was a part of this company here in Neuville. She had endured a lot with these men, and she supposed they were the closing thing to family she had experienced out here. She couldn't just leave them, could she?

"But, sir-" she began weakly, not able to come up with anything else.

"No buts," Hamill said sternly, looking at her dead in the eyes now, "You're going with them when they leave, which will probably be after nightfall. You will go with them to the rally point. From there the decision is your's. However, if they find your brother...I'd like for you to go back to the States with him." His eyes grew so soft and warm that it made Brittany want to hug him, but she didn't want to make a spectacle of herself. Things like that just weren't done in the midst of a war. At least, not very often. So she just took a deep breath and nodded, rolling her sleeve back down. She stood up.

"I'm, uh, going to go set up grave detail," she said. Grave detail was usually her job, as she had one of the strongest stomachs. Hamill nodded and they parted, him heading back over to where Miller and his company still stood near Walton, her heading in the opposite direction to round up some guys.

Later that night, Brittany dragged herself into the church, he entire body covered in sweat and dirt. There were usually only a handful of guys that agreed to help her with grave detail, and with the ruckus today those guys were either out of commission, dead, or busy with other things. As a result there were more bodies than helping hands, and it took hours to get them all in reasonable graves. As she climbed the crumbling stairs to the moderately warmer second floor, Brittany pulled a rag out of her pocket and tried cleaning her face as best she could before grudgingly making her way over to where Miller and his boys had situated themselves. Reiben was once more eying her as she sat down a few feet from here Wade sat at a makeshift desk, looking at what appeared to be a smudged letter. She began wiping the dirt from her arms once she was comfortable.

"What happened to you?" Reiben asked, not kindly. Brittany paused in her cleaning and regarded him with weary eyes.

"Grave detail," she answered simply. For a second she thought he would make some smart comment back, but he remained respectfully quiet, something which surprised her. "That reminds me. Did you guys lose someone on your way through town? We found some guy covered in a blanket, but no means of identifying him. His jacket had been purloined, probably by one of the locals, along with his dogtags." The look on their faces was enough, and her heart broke a little at the look of absolute anguish on Mellish's face. A murmured 'Yes' came from Mellish while everyone else remained somberly silent. Brittany thought a moment.

"What's his name?" she asked calmly, already starting to stand back up. Her joints protested, already grown stiff from her short sit. Mellish regarded her blankly a moment, as though unsure of what she has asked.

"Caparzo," he finally answered as she stretched out her back, "Adrian Caparzo." Brittany nodded, still not believing what she was going to do, and then walked over to the small window which looked down to the one of the main streets.

It had begun to rain again, and she could feel the drops hitting her head and the back of her neck as she leaned partially out the opening, trying to peer through the darkness. There was a flash of lightning, which nearly caused her to fall clean out of the window, but had shown Brittany what she wanted to see. A familiar face had appeared in the brief light, returning to his post from what she knew had been the same job she had just been attending to.

"Carver!" she shouted, hands cupped over her mouth to be heard above the storm. The soldier stopped, and looked in all directions until he spotted her against the moderately lit window. He raised a hand to show he'd heard her. "I need you to go back and put a name on that guy we found covered in the blanket." Even in the ever-growing twilight, Brittany could see the look of utter annoyance and exasperation on his face.

"No way," he yelled back, shaking his head, "I'm exhausted, and its only one guy. We can do it just as easy, if not easier, tomorrow." He began to walk away, but Brittany was not about to let him go that easy.

"I gave you an order!" she bellowed after him, and the authority in her voice made Carver stop dead in his tracks and look back up at her, "I have seniority over you and you know it, Private! On top of that, if you do not do as I say now, when you finally get shot I'll be sure to give the boys instructions to forget to label _your_ grave!" She didn't know why she was going to such lengths to get the guy's name on the crudely made wooden crosses they put at the head of each grave, but it just felt right and so that was what she was doing. Carver seemed to be defeated, staring at her resignedly.

"Fine," he said with a sigh, "What's the guy's name?" She gave it to him. "Do you want anything else written on it?" He had asked this last part rhetorically, not expecting an answer. Brittany thought about that.

"Hold please," she called to him, and walked away from the window, hearing him cursing as she did so. She looked over at the other guys, who were watching her with awed fascination. "You guys want anything else written on the cross? I mean, we can't fit anything large, but theres usually enough room to fit a small sentence or something." There was silence for a long moment. They all seemed to be waiting for Mellish to speak again, but he appeared to be internally struggling with something. Brittany figured it was Mellish who had been the closest with the deceased. And sure enough, it was Mellish who spoke.

"Fish loves ya," he told her, without a trace of embarrassment.

Brittany nodded once and returned to the window, half-expecting to find Carver gone, but he was still there, standing in the harsh rain waiting for her to return. He looked both relieved and pissed when he saw her. She told him what else to write on the cross and watching him job back towards the good-sized graveyard that had been establish to the west of the town. Once she was sure he was heading in the right direction, she returned to her spot next to Wade on the floor, ignoring looks she was receiving from the others. She was waiting for one of them to ask her why she had done that, but to her surprise they never did. Instead...

"I can't believe I just saw a girl pull rank on a soldier," Reiben said, shaking his head, as though still in awe. Brittany almost laughed, but she was feeling the stress of the day and was actually growing tired.

"I have a name you know," was all she could think to say, "Its Brittany. Reiben, right?" The guy nodded. "And I am as much of an official soldier as I can be. I have dogtags, I get ration packages, and if Captain Hamill gets bored calling me Brittany I get called Private. The only difference between you and me, besides of course the obvious, is that I'm not on record as being here. I'm invisible. I don't exist as far as the army is concerned, and thats just fine with me. I'm not here to exist to anyone but my fellow soldiers. Now could you please lay off about the girl thing and just respect me as a soldier? Because I am armed, and they are many perks that come with not existing as a part of the United States Army."

She hadn't planned on saying all of that, but that was Brittany for you. Once she got going she couldn't stop. And besides, it was all true. She wanted to be able to tolerate Reiben since they were going to be traveling buddies now. She didn't want to hurt him, but she knew it could get to the point if he didn't stop being a prick. She had already had to deal with too many guys like him during her war experience, and she felt she had done more than enough to earn everyone's respect. But, of course, as Brittany was finding out, things were never that easy. She waited for Reiben to say something, and after a few minutes he did.

"I don't know how he does that," he said. Brittany was momentarily confused, and then she saw that he was looking at the only one of their group that was actually sleeping. She had gotten fleeting information about Captain Miller and his crew from fellow Neuville soldiers as they passed Brittany and the others on grave detail, so she knew that the slumbering man's name was Jackson, a country boy with a thick accent that hailed from somewhere in Tennessee. She looked upon him with envy as his chest rose and fell slowly in sleep.

"Does what?" she heard Mellish ask curiously, and Brittany returned her attention to the conversation. Apparently, Reiben was going to ignore her rant.

"Fall asleep like that," Reiben replied, "He's lights out the minute his head hits the pillow." Fixing him with a blank stare, Brittany listened with mild interest to the rest of the conversation while listening to the scratching of Wade's pen in the background.

"Clear conscience," Mellish suggested as a reason for Jackson's natural ability to fall right to sleep.

"Yeah, what's the saying? If God's on our side, who the hell could be on their's?" A laugh was almost surprised out of Brittany, but she was distracted by a third voice coming from the sidelines. It was the voice of the one named Upham. She had noticed him sitting off on his own when she had entered the church. She did not fully understand the reason behind this, but it was not her business. At least, not yet. At any rate, whatever he had said had forced a rude remark from Reiben and all Brittany could do was shake her head.

"Actually," Wade spoke up from his spot at the desk, "The trick the falling asleep is trying to stay awake." Brittany turned around so that she was facing him, a curious look on her face. The look in his eyes made her want to cringe. He looked like he was an ocean away, his eyes hollow pools of rememberence.

"How is that Wade?" Mellish asked for all of them.

"Well, when my mother was an intern, she used to work late through the night and sleep during the day, so the only time we ever got to talk about anything was when she'd get home. So what I used to do, I used to lay in my bed and try to stay awake as long as I could, but it never worked because...the harder I tried the faster I'd fall asleep." He gave them all a sad, half-smile, that far away look lingering in his eyes. Brittany suddenly felt embarrassed to be in the room hearing this. These men had probably been together for a long time. They probably thought of each other like family, but she was a stranger, and she felt that she didn't deserve to be hearing something so personal. Even while Reiben and Mellish exchanged some words regarding Reiben's mother, she kept her eyes on Wade, who didn't seem to notice. He was still staring at nothing, lost inside his own head for the moment. All of a sudden he spoke again.

"Only thing is," he said, making the others turn their attention back to him, "Sometimes she'd come hom early, and I'd pretend to be asleep."

"Who, your mom?" Mellish asked gently.

"Yeah. She'd stand in the doorway looking at me... and I'd just keep my eyes shut. And I knew she just wanted to find out about my day, that she came home early... just to talk to me. And I still wouldn't move... I'd still pretend to just be asleep. I don't know why I did that." Now everyone looked like Brittany felt, and they were all left in silence after Wade stopped talking. They were saved from doing anything about it by Captain Miller, who wandered over to tell them all to go to sleep. Brittany would have rolled her eyes, but decided against it. It wasn't his fault he didn't know about her problem with sleeping.

Just like every other night she had spent in Neuville, Brittany _tried_ to sleep, but with no success. This didn't surprise her anymore. She just sort of laid her head down on her pack and closed her eyes. she dozed fitfully for a little over a half an hour, waking up every five minutes or so. Finally, when she figured everyone else had drifted off, she gave up on trying to sleep herself and sat up. She gazed about the dimly lit church, letting her eyes fall on each of the sleeping men in turn, envy burning deep in her chest. Trying to be as quiet as she possibly could, she slowly stood up, brushing off some of the dust that had collected on her clothes.

"You should be asleep," said a voice behind her. It was all Brittany could do not to cry out in surprise. She spun on the spot and found herself looking into the eyes of Captain Miller. He was sitting near one of the windows.

"So should you," Brittany retorted when she had calmed down enough, walking nearer to him, "Lead by example right?" She hadn't wanted to sound sarcastic, but she winced as she heard the tone of her voice. However, the captain smiled at what she said, looking like he would have laughed if he didn't look so tired.

"Yeah, well, I don't sleep much these days," he told her.

"Me either," she said, and then she paused before pressing on, not sure she wanted to say what was on her mind, "Sir, you don't have a problem with me...going with you and your men do you? I need to know." Miller regarded her with a thoughtful look on his face, as though he was seriously considering her question, something she hadn't expected.

"Can you speak French or German?" he spoke suddenly. Brittany looked puzzled.

"I'm not fluent," she replied slowly, "But I know enough to get by I suppose."

"Why did you do what you did for Caparzo?" Brittany nearly did a double-take. What was this? An interrogation? She shrugged.

"Well," she started, thinking she might as well go along with it, "I figured I'm going to be going with you guys whether I like it or not. Captain Hamill is set on it. That being said, I don't need anybody in your group resenting me, so I figured a little kindness could go a long way. I don't know if me and Reiben will ever be best buddies though." Once again she was shocked by the bitterness in her voice. Did she really care that much about what some guy thought of her? It was unlike her. Captain Miller looked thoughtful again.

"No," he said, and the long pause the followed made Brittany feel rather confused, "I don't mind you traveling with us. I'm sure you'll request that I treat you like any of the others?" Brittany couldn't help but smile. She had been thinking to ask him that very thing.

"Its like you've known me forever, sir," she said, beaming. Miller smiled and nodded. With their agreement set the conversation ended, and Brittany made her way to the church's exit.

"Where are you going?" Miller called after her, and she knew this was part of him treating her like one of his men she she called back over her shoulder,

"I need a last word with Captain Hamill." She didn't return to the church until Captain Miller had woken the rest of the squad up an hour later.

It was 2330 and the rain had stopped. Captain Miller's squad of men, with the addition of Brittany, were standing outside the church, a few hanging lamps providing a dim lighting to the area. Brittany stood with her head down, definitely looking like the most forlorn person in the group. She glanced a few times in the direction of Miller and Hamill, who were exchanging a few last minute words with each other. Captain Hamill looked more tired than she had ever seen him, and it tore her up inside to think that she was the cause of it. Their conversation last night after she left the church had quickly turned into an argument, one that he had eventually won, though it was definitely a bitter-sweet victory. Brittany was going, she was leaving with these men, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She had said very little since returning to the church and helping to prepare for their departure. She had spoken the most to Wade earlier as they packed medical supplies from the boxes that had come just hours before from the supply officers.

"Take what you can," Brittany had told Wade as they rifled through the supply boxes, "Leave enough for them to get by but I want use both to take plenty of sulfa packets and at least two boxes of morphine each." She was trying to sound authoritative, in charge, but in the end she just sounded tired. Wade was respectful of this and just nodded his head as he began packing his own bag.

"How do you guys get this stuff?" he asked after a minute or two, and it was the genuine curiosity in his voice that gave Brittany the energy to respond.

"Well, you know where the main supply line is in this region?" she asked, and Wade nodded, "Our troops managed to establish a sub-supply line not too far from here for places like our's. So, once a month we get a delivery of general supplies."

"Once a month," Wade exclaimed, glancing at the handful of small boxes that contained the medical supplies, "There's not even any plasma here." Brittany nodded solemnly.

"We're lucky enough to get any Penicillin," she told him, "A sub-supply line is exactly what it's name suggest, but doesn't come right out and say. We get what's left over after the main positions have been supplied. That's just the way it is." The two had lapsed back into silence then, and quickly finished packing up.

Now they both stood in the dark with Reiben, Jackson, Mellish, Upham, and the svelte Sargent Horvath awaiting orders. It wasn't long before Captain Miller walked over. With a nod of his head and a calm 'Let's go' the squad marched out of the city. Brittany looked back once, straight into the eyes of Captain Hamill. For a moment, in the dull glow of the hanging lanterns on the outer walls of the church, she thought she could see tears running down his lined, stubbly cheeks, and then she was too far away to tell. She turned her head forward and never looked back again. Neuville was gone.


	4. Poker and Hygiene

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Disclaimer: Still don't own anything from Saving Private Ryan...

Note: Yay, I think I actually got this chapter up decently fast after the last one! Hurray for me! Anyway, I would like to thank the people who have sent me reviews on this story recently. It is because of you guys that I got this chapter up so quickly, keep on with those reviews, don't be afraid to e-mail me to tell me to update, all of that will help me get the last four chapters up :) And yes, there are only four more! Yay!

Now, before I let you guys go and enjoy what I think is my favorite chapter so far, I'd like to take this time to mention something. Near the end Brittany gives a little speech to Reiben. I pretty much pulled the entire thing out of my butt and ran with it. I wanted to let anybody who reads this know that I don't necessarily agree with all of what she tells him, but it was a necessary plot point that I needed, and so there it is. I figured it didn't really matter. This is a fiction story after all So, not that I've given that little blurb, go get to reading and reviewing! shoos you onward

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**Chapter Four: Poker and Hygiene**

_Going back now. Everything felt so hot. A younger Brittany tossed and turned on her bed, unable to stay under the covers, sweat drenching her clothes. She moaned and cried as the fever that plagued her caused her to shiver. She felt cold, but she couldn't stand to have a blanket on her for more than a few minutes. She clutched her pillow to herself, trying to find comfort in something that would take her mind from the aches and pains her body was enduring. The medicine her mother had given her was doing little to help, and Brittany was left to suffer in her room, while her family hoped for the best. There was a knock on her door, and she didn't even have enough strength to tell whoever it was to go away. The door opened, and she turned her head slowly to see who it was._

_"Go away, Jim," she groaned, burying her face in her pillow._

_"Hey, Britt," Jimmy said as he entered the room, closing the door behind him, "How are you feeling?" Brittany turned her head just enough so that she was looking at him with one eye._

_"How do you think I'm feeling?" she asked harshly, her voice muffled by the pillow. Jimmy didn't answer, but simply unrolled the blankets he had carried into the room with him. He spread them out on the floor beside her bed, getting down on his knees to straighten out the wrinkles. Curious, Brittany pushed herself up onto her elbows, wincing as she did so, and watched him work._

_"Jimmy, what are you doing?" she asked, the words immediately leading into a coughing fit. She held an arm up, coughing into it as her mother had taught her. Jimmy was quickly up and pouring her a glass of water from the pitcher beside her bed. She accepted it gratefully when he handed it to her and drank generously from the glass. When she felt that the coughs had subsided for the time being, she handed it back to Jimmy, who was waiting patiently. He set it down, then sat down on his newly formed bed._

_"I'm going to sleep in here tonight," he said plainly, "Help you get better." Brittany sighed and shook her head._

_"Jimmy, the only thing you staying here is going to accomplish is getting you sick, too. Now get out of here." She waved her hand weakly at him, motioning for him to leave before he caught what she had, but he didn't budge. She got stern. "Jimmy-"_

_"I'm not leaving," he said firmly before she could continue, "I'm your big brother. It's my job to take care of you." He had his arms folded across his chest, and years of experience had taught Brittany that when Jimmy did that he meant what he said and there would be no convincing him otherwise._

_So, Jimmy stayed with her all that night, the fifth she had spent this sick. It had been exceedingly difficult for Brittany to get to sleep, what with the aches and the fever keeping her awake. But, that night that Jimmy stayed with her, he sat on her bed, holding her head and telling her a story. She fell into a fitful sleep, but it was sleep nonetheless. She woke up many times during the night, crying because of the pain, and Jimmy would be there, with a glass of water and damp rag, telling her it would be alright. Finally, just a few hours before dawn, she fell deep into slumber._

_When she woke up the next morning Brittany sat slowly up in her bed, trying to make sense of how she was feeling. She no longer felt feverish, and her aches were gone. She pushed her blanket off of her and got quietly up from her bed. She tiptoed past Jimmy's sleeping body, and left the room. She could hear her mother washing dishes in the kitchen, and her three other brothers bickering at the table. She stepped into the kitchen, and was immediately greeted by the rest of her family._

_"Oh, dear," her mother exulted, wiping her hands hastily on her apron and hurrying over to her daughter, wrapping her in a loving embrace, "How are you feeling?" She held Brittany at arms like, caressing her cheek with her soft hands._

_"I feel great, Mom," Brittany told her honestly, "Jimmy stayed with me all night. I think he made me better." Her mother smiled, kissed the top of her head and then sent her over to the table to eat breakfast. She got a hug from all three of her oldest brothers, and began eating a large breakfast. Her appetite was making up for all the missed days of food. While she ate she heard footsteps in the hallway and looked up to see Jimmy walking towards the kitchen, looking sleepy and disheveled, rubbing a fist into his eyes. She quickly leaped from her chair, and ran to him, throwing her arms around him._

_"Oh, Jimmy!" she exclaimed as she hugged her brother, "You did it. You made me all better!" Jimmy smiled at her, but it was a weak sort of smile that made Brittany frown. She stepped back and put her hands on her hips, in a very good imitation of her mother. "Jimmy, you didn't get sick did you?" _

_"No, no," Jimmy said, shaking his head, still in a weak manner, "I'm fine. I'm just-" Suddenly his face screwed up, he inhaled sharply and then exhaled with a violent -_

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"Achoo!" The sound made them all jump, the silence so suddenly interrupted it had startled everyone. They all looked behind them at the source of the sneeze and found Upham looking alarmed. He mumbled an apology and everyone turned back around, concentrating on the path ahead.

For many hours it seemed, the members of Captain Miller's squad, whose numbers were now back up to eight, marched along at a steady pace in the darkened world of nightfall. Brittany was glad for Wade's company as they plodded along behind Reiben, Sarge, and the Captain. She already felt comfortable talking to the other medic, as well as most of the other guys, except Reiben. She was telling Wade, and anyone else who was listening, about one of the last guys she had treated at the HQ position she occupied before being sent to Neuville. He had a minor flesh wound to his arm, something that was easily fixed,

"But he just kept flailing all around," she told them, looking around to the others, "I mean just picture a large fish flopping around on the deck of a boat and I tell you that's exactly what he looked like. So, me and the other medic are trying to hold this guy down so I can stick him with the morphine properly, but he won't stop moving, just screaming his head off, too. Then, all of a sudden he aims his foot and kicks me in the stomach with all of his strength. I swear I fell to the ground like a sack of a potatoes." There was general laughter at this, light chuckling from Captain Miller, silence from Reiben.

"What did you do?" Wade asked when his giggles subsided.

"Well, I popped him one hard in the mouth that's what I did," Brittany answered with a large grin, "Didn't move very much for a while." At that the entire squad broke into loud guffaws, and even Reiben joined in the mirth.

The laughter died down soon after, and there was silence in the group. Brittany was only aware of Wade to her right and Mellish to her left. She could hear no noise around them, only distant shells and gunfire, but those were the norm. There were no sounds of little animals, just the steady footfall of eight pairs of boots. She was not used to this kind of quiet, but she held her tongue, determined not to cause any difficulties for herself while she was these guys. When Captain Miller called for a break perhaps a little more than two hours before dawn, she was more relieve than she would ever dare to express, even to Wade. She took a seat on the ground next to the other medic. Everybody was still silent, and all at once she just couldn't take the quiet anymore.

"Anybody got some smokes?" she asked, her voice snapping through the air like a whip, and she gave everyone an apologetic look, "I forgot to pack some before we left." This was a lie, but nobody knew that, and at least she had broken the silence.

There was a rustling sound as seven hands dug in seven packs in search of cigarettes. Wade, being the one immediately next to her, handed Brittany one first, but everyone seemed to think it was a good time for a smoke break. A less heavy silence followed as puffs of smoke rose up all around, giving the pre-sunrise scenery a hazy appearance, as though they were not really here, but staring out at the forest through a screen. Brittany blew her smoke out slowly, holding the cigarette loosely in her fingers, her mind drifting to thoughts of her brother, the last one alive. His name was James Francis Ryan, but she had called him Jimmy from day one. Danny, Seany, Petey, and Jimmy. Her brothers, her friends, the very best things in her life. She often wondered what that said about her, that kind of devotion to her brothers. She had not had a serious relationship with a boy in over three years. She had just given it up because of the strain it put on her relationship with her brothers. She had few other friends, none of them girls, and none who were not also friends with her brothers. Except one, but he was dead too. She didn't consider any of the men she had met in the army a real friend. They were all either attracted to her or, in Captain Hamill's case, like a father to her. The only exception was possibly-

"Brittany," she heard Wade say in that soft voice of his as he nudged her gently with his elbow. Brittany blinked once to snap herself out of her thoughts and turned his head quickly in his direction. He nodded his head forward and she looked up to see Sargent Horvath looking at her quizzically.

"What?" she asked.

"I asked what brought you here," he said, looking at her with interest. Brittany looked confused.

"I told you guys. I was stationed at an HQ position and-" Horvath cut her off with a wave of his hand.

"No, I know that," he said impatiently, "What I mean is, we all have reasons for bein' here. I want to know what your's is." Brittany regarded him silently for a moment, thinking that it would be best if she chose her words carefully.

"This war has taken almost every person I cherish away from me," she began, "I had four older brothers, all of them taken. My best friend, Mikey, was killed during basic training. Even my dog, Charlie, was killed because of this war. He was hit by a government car during a bond rally." She paused to let all of this sink in. "I finally decided to try my own luck. I mean I figured what else did I have to lose? Took a while, but finally I found a General at a recruiting office who thought I could handle it, and he got me over here. The rest, as they say, is history. Does anybody else want to interrogate me?" She said this last bit a little roughly, but she had just unlocked many memories which she had worked to keep hidden so she could function properly as a soldier, and she was pissed about having them recalled.

"Sorry," Horvath muttered lamely, looking at the ground. Brittany gave a shrug of her shoulders and shook her head, like it was no big deal. She sighed and went back to her cigarette. For someone who was so determined not to make trouble, she was sure causing some.

When everyone had finished their first cigarette they got moving again, most of them lighting a second, falling into formation. First Reiben, then Sarge and the Captain, then Wade, Brittany, and Mellish, and finally Jackson and Upham. As they trudged through the French country the sun rose, throwing smudges of pale yellows and blues across the sky. Brittany let out a small sigh as she watched the light stretch across the landscape, thinking of all the times she had watched the sunrise back at Neuville. She hadn't realized how much she would miss the place and the people there until she had left it. She wondered what Captain Hamill was doing, how Mac was holding up. Had she made the right decision in leaving? She didn't know, and probably would never know.

She thought again of Jimmy. She thought of his boyish grin, his charm, his way of attracting trouble, and his ability to use his charm to get out of the trouble he attracted. Of all her brothers he was the one she had been the closest to. They had the same birthday, exactly a year apart in age, almost to the minute even. Most people thought that they were twins, and most of the time they let them believe that. It made no difference to them. They were just as close as twins. They could even finish each other's sentences. She told him everything, and vice versa. He was her best and dearest friend. So why, as she trudged along with this group of men whose mission was to find Jimmy by any means possible, wasn't she happier that she was finally on her way to find him? Ah, but she knew that answer to that one. He had betrayed her. He had-

"Brittany." It was Wade again. This time Brittany didn't mind being brought out of her gloomy thoughts and she turned to look at him. The sun was entirely out now, and she could actually see his face again in the early morning light. He was holding something out to her.

"Want a little breakfast?" he asked with a smile. She took what he was holding and looked at it.

"Is this an apple?" she asked, not trying to hide the surprise in her voice. Without waiting for an answer she bit into it. It was an apple, alright. A delicious, juicy apple. She looked over at Wade. He was still grinning.

"Yeah," he said, "I try to keep a few fresh ones in my pack when I can, so I snagged a few back in Neuville." Brittany could have laughed. She remembered fondly all of those abandoned apple carts that were around the city. She continued munching the apple until only the core remained. As she was wiping the juice off her face with her sleeve a canteen of water was shoved in front of her. She looked sideways at Wade, and amused look on her face, and shook her head.

"I can drink my own water, Wade," she said, smiling softly as she unhooked the canteen from her pack, unscrewed the cap and took a long drink. She secured it back onto her pack, gazing thoughtfully ahead as they marched steadily on.

"Do you always do that?" a voice asked her after a few moments, this time not Wade's. Brittany looked to her right to see Mellish looking back at her.

"Do what?" she asked him.

"Stare off into space like that." She smiled softly and chuckled a bit.

"Well what else am I supposed to do?" she asked, "You guys are lousy company." She could hear Jackson muffling laughter behind her. She reached over and patted Mellish on the shoulder. "I'm kidding. Truth is this is one of the first times I've had this much time to myself to think. Both the HQ position and Neuville kept pretty busy most of the time. If I wasn't working I was surrounded by chatting soldiers." She paused and glanced around them. The sun was was almost completely up, the light stretching across the landscape now. She held up a hand to shield her eyes as they adjusted. "How much farther till the rally point?" She wasn't exactly anxious to get there, but she could use a break.

"Ah, whats the matter?" she heard Reiben ask from up front, "Those girly feet tired already?" Brittany glared at the back of his head, her fist tightening around what was left of the apple she had been eating. Without hesitating she reached her arm up, pulled back and then threw the fruit with all her might at the back of Reiben's head. It hit the base of his neck with a satisfying _thud!_ She watched him stumble forward with a grin on her face. She could hear the rest of the guys trying to muffle their laughter as Reiben spun around, clearly upset about the apple.

"What the hell was that for?" he shouted, stomping towards her. Brittany was aware of Wade stepping between them, but only for a few seconds before Reiben was close enough to shove him out of the way. She glanced sideways to make sure that Wade was alright before turning to glare defiantly at Reiben, standing her ground in front of him.

"Well, the apple was for disrespecting me again," she said scathingly, and then, in the blink of an eye, she lifted up her boot and brought it down hard on Reiben's foot. He cried out in surprise and pain, hopping around on one foot, trying to rub his toes through his boot. "_That_ was for pushing Wade, asshole." Reiben stopped hopping and turned on her again. He opened his mouth to say something but another voice cut across him.

"Alright, that's enough," Captain Miller said sternly, putting an arm between Reiben and Brittany, "Reiben get back to your position. Now." Reiben didn't move at first, he just looked from Brittany to the Captain, still looking pissed.

"What, she gets special treatment because she's a girl now?" he asked, looking defiantly at Miller.

"No," Miller said calmly, "She gets special treatment because she has respect for her fellow soldiers. You could learn a thing or two form her. Now get back to your position. We're nearly there." Reiben looked like he wanted to say more, but in the end he went back to his position, mumbling under his breath. Brittany glanced at Miller, trying to thank him without saying it. He gave an almost imperceptive nod and then went back to his place next to Sargent Horvath. A few seconds later they were all on the move again. Everything was quiet for a while, nobody daring to speak as the continued on towards their destination. Then Brittany heard a soft voice to her right.

"You didn't have to do that." She turned to look at Wade, who was looking at her earnestly.

"Of course I did," she told him, "What are friends for?" He stared at her a moment longer, then smiled a little and turned to look straight ahead again. The rest of the journey was made in relative silence.

By nine in the morning the sun was shining bright in the sky. Brittany was feeling the heat as she trotted along beside Wade. They were very close to the rally point now. Ahead of them a dark shape loomed in in the brush but they couldn't tell what it was yet. As they came closer they could hear the sounds of many voices talking on the other side of the dense vegatation, and suddenly the bulk in the brush revealed itself to be the tail of a plane. The members of Miller's squad all stared at it as they passed, carefully stepping over the wreckage plus a few bodies. They all ducked under another piece of the crashed aircraft and found themselves staring out over a large open field. There were many rows of men laying in the grass, and a long line of people walking in the distance.

The smell hit them all almost immediately, and Brittany saw everyone's nose wrinkle as the scents of infection and blood reached their nostrils. Everyone except Miller. He gave her and Wade the order to do what they could to help, and the medics split up and began tending to the vast amount of wounded men. It reminded Brittany of being back at the HQ position, but back then there had been more medics working than two. She knelt down beside a guy who had a laceration on his head. Someone had used a ripped up shirt to bandage it. She gingerly lifted it from his head and grimaced a little. The shirt and the area surrounded the wound was caked with blood, and it was already beginning to smell a little, but it was not so bad. She cleaned it with water from her canteen, sprinkled some sulfa on the cut, and then set the guy up with a proper bandage. She stood up and wandered closer to where Wade was doing pretty much the same thing with some guy with a gunshot wound to his arm.

"Hey, Reiben," he called, "Smell that leg right there, find out if it's south of cheese."

Reiben, who had been lighting cigarettes for the soldiers nearby, turned around and bent down to do as he was told. When he got a whiff of the leg, he pulled back quickly with a grimace. He looked up at Wade and Brittany who was now watching him also and nodded. Wade and Brittany exchanged a look, both of them remembering Adams from Neuville, and then went back to work. That was the life of a medic. A single moment of reminiscing over things past, and then it was time to move on. Dwelling of the ones that couldn't be saved was poisonous, it drug a person down. Brittany glanced up as a lieutenant in the group took Miller and most of the other guys over to the plane, most likely explaining what they hell happened here.

"Hey, Brittany," she heard Wade call to her, "Could you help me over here?" Brittany turned her head to see Wade next to an older looking soldier who was wincing heavily as Wade prodded around an entry wound in his leg. She walked over and squatted down.

"What's the problem?" she said, pulling out her canteen and pouring water on the wound to clean away the dried blood.

"I think the bullet's still in there," Wade answered, not looking up at first. When he was finished poking around the wound, he leaned back, wiping his brow with his sleeve, glancing over at Brittany. "I need you to keep his leg still so I can get it out. Be ready with the canteen and some sulfa." Brittany nodded, listening and reacting obediently to his instructions. The soldier, who had been watching them with interest while propped up on his elbows, kept his eyes on Brittany as she placed both hands firmly on his upper leg.

"You're a woman," he stated with a bit of wonder in his voice. Brittany glance up at him.

"You got a sharp eye," she said with a slight smile. She had learned that she preferred the older soldiers. For some reason they were more tolerable about a woman being in the midst of the war. "My name is Brittany." She held out one of her hands towards the man. He looked at it curiously, then with a grin on his face he took it in his and shook it.

"The name is Robert Parks," he said, and then looked over at Wade who appeared ready to proceed, "This is going to hurt isn't it?" He looked at Brittany again, who nodded.

"I'm afraid its going to hurt a bit," she told him honestly. He nodded to himself then looked up brightly.

"Any chance for some more morphine?" Brittany smiled at him then glanced at his collar where a syrette was already pinned.

"It looks like you're maxed out for now." Parks sighed at the response and leaned back.

"I'm so tired of pain. Don't you think you could make an exception?" He exchanged a look with Brittany, a look she understood but did not like. Regardless, she did not look away, just stared firmly back at the soldier.

"I'm sorry," she told him, "But you aren't that bad. No short cuts here my friend." Then she turned to Wade, who had been watching them, clearly puzzled by their conversation, and nodded for him to start as she reapplied the pressure on the soldiers leg, keeping it still.

It didn't take long for Wade to get the bullet out. It was a shallow wound. The bullet had probably ricocheted off of something before it hit Parks. The man squirmed and shouted in pain, but Brittany held his legs tight to the ground. Once the bullet was out, Brittany let go and quickly poured water onto the wound, wiping away the blood that had pooled out, then put sulfa and a bandage on the soldier. Parks, who appeared to have changed his attitude slightly, thanked them both sincerely.

"I'm sorry for my earlier comments," he said to Brittany, who looked at him with a smile.

"Don't think anything of it," she told him, "We all lose faith sometimes." He smiled at that and nodded thoughtfully.

"Do you have a last name my dear?" he asked, "If I ever get a chance to tell my family the story of the brave medics who helped me, I'd like to have the names straight." She grinned at him, deeply touched by the sentiment. Which was probably why she didn't think about Wade's presence before she answered.

"Ryan. My name is Brittany Ryan." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized her blunder. She turned her head slowly to look at Wade. He had been wiping his bloody hands clean, but he had paused and was staring at her with shock. Brittany couldn't think of anything to say, so she kept silent.

Then, behind them came the clear voices of their comrades, whom they had lost track of. Both of them turned their attention that way, and both were disgusted at what they saw. Reiben, Mellish, and Jackson, appeared to be going through a bag of dog tags. Brittany assumed they were looking for her brother's in there, which made her stomach do a somersault. What made things worse, was the fact that the boys appeared to be_ playing_ with the tags. They were making jokes and laughing as they rummaged through them. Brittany shook her head, unable to believe what she was seeing.

"Pigs," she muttered, and then turned back around to see that Wade had disappeared. She looked left and right and then looked at Parks with a questioning look. The soldier just pointed back behind her. She turned her head to see Wade walking over to the group of guys.

"What the hell are you doing?" she heard him say angrily, "The whole goddamn airborne is watching. These aren't poker chips. Put them back." Brittany smiled, happy at least that she had befriended somebody with a decent moral standard. She stood up, waving a little to Parks as she walked over to where everyone was now gathered, idly wiping her hands off with a rag.

"He's not here," Captain Miller muttered absently, throwing down the dog tags he had been holding onto the table with the rest of them. Brittany looked up at him, not sure whether to feel encouraged or dismayed by his words. Miller looked ahead at the moving line of people. "Maybe we should split up into a couple of different groups, wander the woods like Hansel and Gretel. Hes bound to hear us sooner or later...Ryan!" This last part came out as a loud shout, as he walked closer to the ever-moving column of people.

"That might be a little hard to do, Captain," Sargent Horvath pointed out awkwardly, but Miller didn't pay him any attention.

They all watched as Captain Miller wandered into the crowd of people, asking some of the French refugees if the knew a Private James Ryan, and then simply shouting the name out for everyone to hear. Brittany and the others shifted and looked at each other uncomfortably. She wondered whether or not she should go stop Miller from making a spectacle of himself, and she was just about to when one of the soldiers who had been walking in the line with the rest of them stopped, gazing at the Captain thoughtfully.

"Hey, Joe!" he shouted behind him, and another soldier stopped, "Doesn't Michaelson pal around with a Ryan from C Company?" The other soldier, Joe, shrugged.

"Yeah, I think so," he replied.

"Well, bring him up here, would you?"

Brittany tensed beside Wade. Miller glanced over towards the group, an expression of wonder in his eyes. They all watched as Joe came running back, accompanied by another paratrooper, presumably Michaelson. This one had a bewildered look on his face, and Brittany grimaced when she saw the side of his head. His ear was a mangled mass of flesh and blood. It looked like grenade damage if she had to venture a guess, but at that moment she was not concerned with the man's physical maladies. She watched as he was brought before Captain Miller, and then the moment of truth was upon them. Feeling a pain in her chest she realized that she had been holding her breath, but she felt paralyzed. Without thinking about it she gripped Wade's arm tightly with one of her hands. He didn't seem to mind.

"Do you know Private James Ryan?" Captain Miller asked him. The guy looked at him quizzically, and Brittany almost felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. Then...

"You going to have to speak up, sir!" Joe began explaining to him just as Michaelson shouted the same thing, as though Lip were not even there. Brittany perked up a little, not noticeable to anyone but Wade. Of, course! The grenade had damaged his hearing. She watched, her emotions conflicting with each other in an unending torrent. She still wasn't sure how excited she was about finding Jimmy, but of course he was her brother, and she did _want_ to find him. Even if he was a complete jerk.

"Private James Ryan!" Captain Miller was shouting so that the guy could hear him.

"Jimmy Ryan?" Michaelson asked, leaning forward to hear better, obviously still having some difficulty.

"James!" Miller shouted again, "James Francis Ryan!" Michaelson shook his head vigorously.

"No, no, no," he said, "James _Francis_ Ryan." Brittany would have collapse if it hadn't been for her grip on Wade's arm. He seemed to sense this, too, because he reached over with his hand and placed it over hers. _Thank God,_ was all she could think. They had done it. They had found him. She happened to glance to her other side and saw Reiben watching her, a blank look on his face, but he turned his head a second later. After another moment, Brittany turned her own attention back to Miller.

Upham had stepped forward with a pencil, and after a few written messages between Miller and the near-deaf Michaelson, it was discovered that Private James Ryan was in Ramelle, babysitting a bridge as their informant put it. The Captain called everyone to him, and without hesitation Brittany joined the group. Nobody objected or questioned it. She wanted to think it was just because they had gotten used to her presence, but she remembered Reiben earlier, and she wondered if anybody else had been watching her like that.

"You know this bridge he was talking about, Captain?" Sargent Horvath asked when the all settled around a makeshift table.

"Yes," Miller said, pulling a map and compass out of his pocket, "The target has always been Cherbourg. We can't push on Paris until we take a deep water port, and Rommel knows that, so hes going to try to get his armor across the Merderet River anyway her can. That way, he can hit our invasion forces in the flank when we make the big right turn to Cherbourg. That makes any village on that river with an intact bridge solid gold real estate."

Brittany knew she was the not the only one who noticed how badly the Captain's hand shook as he held the compass. They all watched him in silence, and she could tell everyone looked concerned, but nobody said anything. She knew better than to say anything either. It appeared to be an ongoing ailment, because Miller didn't seem to notice or be very bothered by it. At least, he wasn't bothered until he looked up to see everyone staring at him. He quickly closed his compass and folded the map, shoving them back into his pockets before quickly standing up.

"Let's go," he ordered. They all feel into their positions and began walking, leaving the rally point behind.

By the time the afternoon rolled around, they were all hot and sweaty again. As she walked Brittany reflected illogical amount of stuff a soldier carries with them. In her pack she had two pairs of socks, a toothbrush, a comb, a wool cap, a cup, her field manual, ammunition, three day supply of K-rations, chocolate bars, Charms candy, powdered coffee, sugar, matches, compass, a diminishing bar of soap, a small assortment of grenades, a bayonet, and plenty of cigarettes. Tied to her pack was a blanket, and her canteen which was nearly empty. Slung over her shoulder was her medic bag which contained bandages, sulfa powder, morphine, scissors, tweezers, a small mirror, and a box of razor blades. The small handgun that Captain Hamill had given her when she arrived to Neuville she kept tucked into the waistband of her trousers, and in her boot was a knife. All in all it was a lot to carry around.

Glancing to her right she saw Wade trudging silently along beside her. They hadn't spoken to each other since leaving the rally point, except a few words when they took a lunch break. She wanted desperately to say something to him about what had happened earlier, her slip up, but they were surrounded by the others so she couldn't talk to him freely about it. She still wasn't sure why she hadn't been honest with them about being related to the man they were searching for. The most logical reason was that she could tell they were already bitter towards her brother for the trouble this mission was causing them. If they knew she was his sister they might be bitter towards her, making her time with them considerably more complicated. A voice brought her out of her thoughts, and she realized that the group had stopped.

"Brittany, up front, please." It was Captain Miller. He and Sargent Horvath were about thirty yards away inspecting something. Brittany jogged leisurely over to them and followed their gaze. There was a stream running through the landscape in front of them. The water look just waist-deep, and was clear enough to see the stones at the bottom.

"Sir?" she said, looking to the Captain.

"You think its safe?" he asked her, nodding towards the water. She looked at him with a puzzled expression, unsure about why he was asking _her_ this. She supposed it made a modicum of sense to ask a medic whether a water source was safe to drink out of or swim in, but she was not the only medic in the group, and Wade had been with Miller longer. In the end she just shrugged.

"If it is we'd have no way of knowing," she replied, "I don't see any contaminants nearby, and the water looks clear. Besides, I know that my canteen is low, which probably means the everyone's is, and to be honest, sir, you're all starting to smell." That got a laugh out of Sarge and that strange, faraway smile from the Captain.

"Alright then," he said, "Sarge, tell the boys they're free to swim for a while, get cleaned up, and tell them that their skivvies are mandatory." Horvath turned away with a large grin on his face, clapping his hands together with excitement. Brittany turned and followed him back to the group.

"Alright boys!" he told them cheerfully, "Get your scrawny butts in the water. Its bath time!" Jackson gave a whoop of joy and they all began to take off their shirts and trousers. Halfway through the process Upham looked over at Brittany, who had taken a seat in the grass.

"What about her?" he asked, looking at Sarge questioningly. Horvath seemed stumped by the question, and he looked first at Brittany then at Captain Miller who had returned to the group. The Captain silently looked over at Brittany, who smiled softly.

"Don't worry about me," she told them, "I don't have enough spare clothes to be able swim in what I have on, which is the only way I could go swimming anyway. Besides, I doubt that Captain Miller would think it appropriate." She glanced over at Miller, but he continued to regard her in silence, a look on his face she couldn't read. Unsure of how or if to respond to his stare, she turned to look back at the others. "You guys go ahead and swim. You need the washing." She watched with a smile as the five of them ran for the water, shrieking like little boys as they plunged into the the stream.

It was a beautiful afternoon once Brittany had removed her pack and jacket and could enjoy the warmth of the sun properly. She watched the boys splash around in the water for a few minutes, a smile on her face, before getting up and finding a quiet spot in the grass where she laid on her back and stared up at the sky. She remembered doing this same thing with her brothers back at home during their childhood. Cloud gazing, that's what Sean had called it. They would occupy themselves for hours finding different shapes in the clouds. Looking up at the sky now, in the middle of France, Brittany longed for those days again, when she had all of her brothers. She felt a pit form in her stomach, felt an ache in her heart, but she still didn't cry. She had not cried over the loss of her brothers. She didn't know what to make of that, but she tried to turn her mind to other things. She thought of the time she had been terribly ill, how nice it had been to have her brothers take care of her. This made her smile.

As she lay there, remembering times past, Brittany wasn't aware of the sound of approaching footsteps. She had her eyes closed, remembering how high her fever had been back then, and she was close to dozing off. Very suddenly she felt several pairs of hands on her, gripping her arms and legs. Her eyes snapped open as she was lifted into the air. She had very little time to register what was happening before she was flung into the stream, landing with a loud splash. She came up spluttering, her dark hair plastered to her head, crying out because of the sudden cold. Once the shock wore off she was aware of a chorus of laughter from the edge of the stream. She looked over to see all of the guys, Horvath and Miller included, guffawing raucously. In an instant she understood they had thrown her in here, and she splashed a large wave of water at Reiben, who was the nearest to her.

"What the hell you guys?" she yelled at them, trying to sound angry but failing miserably. In truth she was fighting back her own giggles. "I told you I don't have extra clothes."

"You're borrowing one of my shirts," Reiben said, looking semi-annoyed about being splashed, "Mellish has an extra pair of trousers." With that he pulled back one of his hands and sent a great splash of water in her direction. Brittany instinctively threw her arms up to shield herself, but of course that did little good. She put her arms down and half-heartedly glared at Reiben, but she couldn't keep it up when she saw him grinning. It was the first time she had seen a grin on his face. The effect was startling, it changed his entire face. She smiled and shook her head.

"Alright," she said, "If I'm going to be in the water I'm going to go get my soap." And so they spent the rest of the afternoon scrubbing themselves and playing around in the water, forgetting for at least a few hours about the war and the mission. For those few hours, the members of Captain Miller's squad were able to enjoy themselves and each other's company.

Later that evening, as the sun was still setting, Captain Miller had permitted them to light one of the lamps, so most of them were gathered around the light, at least until it was totally dark and they moved out. Brittany was laying on her side, watching the Reiben, Jackson, and Mellish playing poker, this time using cigarettes as poker chips. She was wearing dry clothes now, her hair just slightly damp. The shirt that she had borrowed from Reiben was a little roomy, but she usually preferred her shirts that way, and the pants Mellish had loaned her fit nicely. She smiled and shook her head as the guys started bickering about who was playing fair and who wasn't. With a startling realization, she understood why watching them brought a smile to her face. The pit in her stomach reformed as she thought of how they reminded her of her brothers. The smile slide off her face, and she stood up. She looked off to her left where Wade was sitting, concentrating hard on a piece of paper, and scribbling things onto another.

"Hey," she said as she sat down next to him. He glanced up from the paper, acknowledging her presence, and then looked back down. _Better than nothing_, she thought. "You still working on that letter?" She remembered he had been working on rewriting the letter that their dead comrade, Caparzo his name had been, had written to his father. Wade had taken it off the body back in Neuville.

"Yeah," he replied lifting his hand to wipe his brow, "I'm nearly done."

"Do you want some help?"

"No." Brittany sighed. This had been going on since the rally point. He hadn't said more than five words to her since she had let slip her real last name.

"Alright," she said, keeping her voice low so the others couldn't over hear, "I'm getting a little tired of the cold shoulder treatment here. Do you want to talk about what happened back at the rally point? Or are you just going to not talk to me ever again?" She watched as Wade stopped writing, looking slowly up at her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, making an effort to keep his own voice to just above a whisper. Brittany looked a little surprised. That had definitely not been the first thing she thought he would say.

"I didn't tell any of you guys," she said, frowning a little with puzzlement.

"Oh, so I'm on the same level as them now?" He sounded slightly insulted, and suddenly Brittany understood what was wrong.

"No, of course not," she said gently, "I didn't mean for any of you to find out I was related to Jimmy because I didn't want to make things more difficult for myself. I could already tell you guys don't like my brother because of the trouble he's caused you. I didn't want you guys to treat me any differently because of that."

"I wouldn't have," he said indignantly. There was an awkward silence after that. Brittany looked down at her hands, suddenly feeling very ashamed of her actions. She hadn't known that she would have made a friend in this group of men, but since she had, she felt terrible for not having told him. She didn't know what to say. Then he spoke.

"I like you," he said, letting it out in a single breath, as though he had been holding it in for sometime. Brittany would have groaned out loud if she could have, but she kept it inside. She had had many friends who were guys over the years. So many that she had ceased to consider the fact that any of them thought of her in a way other than in friendship. Those that did were usually dropped quickly, just to avoid the uncomfortable situations that were sure to follow. In this case Brittany didn't know what to do about what Wade had just said. She liked him too much as a friend to just drop him, and he was far less avoidable in this situation.

"Wade," she said after a few moments, "Look, you're the first friend I've made here, and I appreciate you for that but-"

"No," he said, cutting her off, shaking his head and waving his hand impatiently, "I didn't mean it like that." He paused, taking a deep breath, as though what he were about to say pained him. When Brittany heard it, she thought it probably did. "Theres a girl back home where I live. I like her, too, but in a different way. You remind me a lot of her. I like being around you. It's kind of like being home." He looked at her and smiled shakily. Brittany smiled back, very relieved to know it was not what she had thought. Forgetting for a second that they were not alone, she reached over and placed a hand tenderly on his shoulder.

"I'm glad to hear it," she told him, "And for the record, you remind me a lot of my brother, Pete. It's nice." The two of them smiled at each other a few seconds longer before they were rudely interrupted by none other than...

"So why does Wade get all the attention?" Reiben asked obnoxiously, making Brittany grind her teeth when she heard his voice. She took her hand off Wade's shoulder and turned to look in Reiben's direction. All of the guys had stopped playing poker and were looking at her and Wade.

"Because," she began, trying to keep her voice calm, "Wade has respect for me, and doesn't make cracks about me being a weak little girl every two minutes."

"But you _are_ a girl," Reiben responded. Brittany took a deep breath and shook her head.

"Do you know what the difference is between you and me Reiben?" she asked.

"I hope there's more than one," he mumbled, looking back down at the cards in his hand.

"You're not fighting for anything," she continued, ignoring his comment. He opened his mouth to respond, but she cut him off, holding her hand up. "Yeah, yeah, I know, you're fighting for you're country, or you're fighting for your buddies. Well, some people say that that's enough to motivate a soldier, but I don't buy it. There's got to be something extra or what's the point? What's your reward in the end? That's what I'm talking about. I'm willing to bet that every single one of these guys has a girl back home, waiting for them to come home, and that's part of what motivates them to continue. Sarge and the Captain are married, I know Wade has a girl. So what about you, Reiben? What do you have?"

"Hey, so what if I don't have a girl waiting for me," Reiben responded scornfully, "Maybe I didn't like the idea of breaking some poor girl's heart when I don't come home." Brittany actually laughed a little at that, the sound just bubbling out of her as she shook her head.

"Oh, how noble of you," she said sarcastically through her giggles, "There you go again, Reiben. You don't think us women folk can take care of ourselves. I'm sure that if you had broken some poor girl's heart, she would have bounced right back, probably going after one of your comrades who came home in your place. But you didn't answer my question. What are you fighting for? Whose waiting for you?"

"I got my family. My mom, my brothers-" Again Brittany cut him off.

"No, that doesn't count. _Of course_, your family is waiting for you. That's a given. The point is, having a girl back home is a symbol of the future for a soldier. They can go home, get married, start a family, and know that the person they get to spend the rest of their life with waited for them through all of the hardship. That is what you're lacking. You don't have that." Her voice became soft towards the end, almost sad as she looked at Reiben who was staring back at her with a hard look in his eyes.

"So what?" he said again, though it was obvious he was affected by what she had said.

"And I'm sorry," Brittany said, staring right at him, "I'm sorry that you don't have that. I really am." There was a bloated silence then, nobody daring to say a word as Brittany and Reiben continued their staring match. For the first time since Neuville she was really seeing Reiben for what he was beneath the bullshit. He was just like all of the other scared and lonely soldiers she had met. He seemed to almost know that she was seeing this because he finally looked away, staring at the ground before cautiously glancing at her out of the corner of his eyes.

"So, what are you fighting for?" he asked her quietly. Brittany looked at him without answering, not sure what to tell him, and then Captain Miller finally intervened, telling them all to go to bed. They would move out in a few hours. With the question remaining unanswered, everyone began shuffling around, finding a comfortable spot on the ground and arranging their packs to serve as pillows so they could rest their heads. Upham doused the lamp, throwing them all into darkness as they lay there. Brittany waited a few moments while they all settled in before speaking.

"I don't know."


	5. A Little More

Disclaimer: You guessed it. Still don't own Saving Private Ryan! How smart you're all becoming

Note: Alright, so, another chapter. Go me! A few things I would like to mention just so my readers know I'm not a total idiot hehe When we get to the part with the bit about the battle, I do NOT have any knowledge of war tactics or anything like that. I just sort of winged it and did the best I could. Nor do I know anything about cars, so I just winged it with the memory flashback bit as well. I also skipped some dialogue because it seemed pointless to write it all out, and I know that I probably made the fight between the guys and the machine gun nest quite a bit longer than it actually was in the movie, but I don't see that it matters very much, and there were some necessary plot points that needed to be brought up. And yes, the flashback bit in the beginning is sucky and short but I don't want to leave them out now that I have the pattern going, otherwise I would just not to do them all the time. Well, I guess thats about it. Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing and I hope you all enjoy the chapter! Now go on, go read it!

PS: Oh and I wanted to apologize that this chapter is so much shorter than my last two. There just wasn't that much to put into this one since I split the day into the two parts.

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**Chapter Five: A Little More**

_"So these are the brakes, this is the gas pedal, and this is the steering wheel." Daniel pointed each thing out to Brittany as he spoke, and she watched and listened with rapt attention. She was sitting in the driver's seat of her brother's old truck, the one they used to do work around the farm. She carefully placed her hand on the wheel._

_"So this is what makes it turn?" she asked, looking to her brother. He was standing outside of the truck, his muscled arms resting casually on the spot where the window would roll up._

_Today was the day, that Daniel had decided his little sister was going to learn to drive. Brittany was trying to pay as much attention as she could, knowing that all of this was important. But, Jimmy was sitting in the passenger seat, looking at his reflection in the cracked side view mirror and making the most ridiculous faces. He was making kissy faces, sticking his tongue out, and suddenly she couldn't help it. She burst out laughing, leaning over the steering wheel, letting it all come out in loud guffaws. Jimmy looked over at her and broke out into a large grin, as though he had achieved his desired effect. Danny was less than pleased._

_"Hey!" he shouted, pounding his fist on the car door, causing both Brittany and Jimmy to snap up, the smiles coming off their faces, "Pay attention! This is important. You're going to give it a go soon, and I don't want you running into the barn or something." Brittany looked at him, trying to act serious, but not able to help being a smart ass._

_"But, Danny," she said, looking behind her and pointing, "The barn is that way. You said I'm just going down the hill." Daniel looked at her with a look that told her she needed to quit it, and she understood her brother meant business, so she got serious again._

_"Are you sure this is safe?" Pete asked from his position sitting on the fence nearby, "I mean, should we really be letting her do this." Brittany looked over at him and smiled, appreciative of his concern. Danny told him that she'd be fine and to stop making her nervous. Brittany figured that it was Danny who was getting nervous, but she wasn't about to say that._

_"Ah, stop your jawing and lets get this show on road," Jimmy said exuberantly, hitting his hand on the dashboard. She was glad one of them was feeling good about this. Daniel nodded his head and took a step back._

_"Alright, Britt," he said, his voice softened from that bossy tone from before, "Just remember what I told you and you'll be fine." Brittany nodded._

_With a determined look, Brittany turned the key that had already been stuck in the ignition, letting the engine roar. She went through the steps with the gears and the clutch, and she got the thing moving. She was so ecstatic she took her hands off the wheel for a second to clap. Jimmy shouted at her and she quickly grabbed again, over-correcting when the car had drifted during her momentary lapse of logic. As the truck swerved over to the other side of the road, Brittany tried again to get it back on track, but overdid it yet again. Suddenly, the wooden fence was coming at them fast, and she didn't remember which pedal was the break. Realizing there was no hope, she just threw up her arms to cover her face as they crashed into the fence. Jimmy had stretched his leg over to the driver's side of the car and stomped on the break pedal. The car stopped abruptly. There was a moment of silence as the two of them looked at each other. Then they broke into laughter, chortling loudly and holding onto each other. Outside, their other three brothers were running towards them, Danny waving his arms and shouting-_

* * *

"No!" Brittany exclaimed, "No, no, no." She was shaking her head vehemently and waving her arms in front of her, trying and failing to hold back to laughter that was threatening to bubble out of her. She was walking beside Wade in their usual formation, the entire group plodding along just like usual as they headed for Ramelle. They had been walking for some time. It was already daylight as Brittany was fighting back her giggles. Reiben was looking back at her expectantly, an arrogant smirk on his face.

"Come on," he coaxed her.

"I said no," she said, still trying not to laugh, "I can't even believe I'm having this conversation right now."

Ever since last night, when Brittany had told Reiben that stuff about not having something to fight for, the two had been getting along considerably better. They still were not the kind of buddies that she and Wade were, but they were at least able to talk to each other without any fruit projectiles being involved. Now he had her practically red in the face trying to keep herself from laughing at the topic of conversation now. She had asked Reiben about what it was like where he lived, and he had started telling them about how he had worked in his mom's clothing shop. His mother specialized in women's accouterments, which had led to the embarrassing yet thoroughly amusing question Reiben had posed to her.

"I was close wasn't I?" he asked with a knowing grin.

The conversation had started out innocently enough. Until Reiben broke into a large grin and said 'I bet I could guess your size', and then all hell had broken loose. The other guys had all broken into laughter, some more awkwardly than others, like Upham, who was unsure whether he should see any humor in it or not. Brittany had of course tried to keep her own laughter in check while she told Reiben there was no chance. When he had given his answer though, she was stunned and quickly reversed, saying it was an inappropriate topic and it needed to be ended. Reiben, of course, could see right through her and had spent the last few minutes trying to get her to admit that he had been right. It was a battle she was losing.

"You might have been," she finally said. She heard Wade snort laughter beside her and she elbowed him. Up front, Reiben was holding his BAR above his head victoriously.

"I told you I could guess," he told everyone. Brittany rolled her eyes, intermittent giggles popping out of her.

"Alright, alright," she said wearily, but with a smile on her face, "Can we move on now? I can't believe I even let that go on as far as it did." She shook her head.

"It's my charm that does it," Reiben said, glancing back at her with a bright smile. Brittany outright laughed at that.

"Oh yeah," she said through her chuckling, "A real charmer, you are. How many girls have you taken into the dressing rooms at your mom's place for something other than a fitting?" Around her all the guys erupted into mad cackling while Reiben looked back at her with a semi-annoyed look on his face. She smiled sweetly back at him.

They marched a while longer before breaking for lunch. They all took seats in the grass, digging around in their packs for K rations. Brittany pulled hers out, methodically opening the can of cheese with the tiny can opener, and then spreading it over a few crackers. She ate these slowly, taking only small bites until the three crackers she had prepared were gone, and then she put everything away. Having seen the food shortage in action back at Neuville, she had trained herself to eat as little as possible at any given time. When she finished her modest lunch, she wandered over to where Wade was munching on a cereal bar and pouring some powdered lemonade into a cup of water. He saw her and smiled through his mouthful of food, offering the cup to her as she sat down.

"Cheers," he said after quickly swallowing his food. She accepted the cup, taking a little sip before passing it back. She waited quietly while he finished his lunch, perfectly content with just sitting there.

So it was that Brittany Marie Ryan had been accepted into Captain Miller's squad. The process had been slowly working itself out since they had left Neuville, but it had not come quickly. The final piece in the puzzle had been her and Reiben coming to an understanding with each other. Now that that had been achieved, she was one of the guys. She recognized the overwhelming feeling of joy in her chest from the similar situation she had found herself in with Captain Hamill and his men. It had taken her days to when the trust and acceptance of everyone there. She had never imagined she would ever reach the same level with Miller's men so quickly, but it appeared as though she had gotten lucky. She and Miller had come to their understanding before they had even left Neuville, she and Wade had seemed to bond instantly, and Sarge seemed more or less amused by her. The final obstacle had been Reiben, and it appeared as though she had conquered that one. She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder and she jumped.

"Jesus, Brittany," Wade said with a grin, "Mellish is right, you do stare off into space a lot." Brittany grinned back at him, giving him a playful shove.

"What did you want?" she asked him, light laughter in her voice.

"I didn't get a chance to ask you last night," he began, his face becoming serious, "But what were you and that guy back at the rally point talking about? You remember, the guy with the bullet in his leg? It was something about giving him more morphine or something." The smile that had been on Brittany's face come off quickly as she looked at Wade. Oh yes, she remembered Robert Parks, and the request her had made to her. She had simply assumed that Wade had understood the exchange, but apparently it had been false hope on her part. She took a deep breath and let it out.

"There have been times," she began slowly, "That soldiers are so far gone that we can't do anything about it." Wade nodded. "Well, there are some medics, and I unfortunately count myself amongst them, that when there is no hope of doing anything for the poor soul, will administer a few extra doses of morphine, just to ease them off. As I'm sure you know, too much morphine can kill a person, which is why we pin the used syrettes to their collars. The soldier back at the rally point, was tired of being in pain and had lost faith in his ability to go on, so he asked me to give him enough morphine to kill him. I refused, obviously, because he was not a lost cause." She stopped, watching Wade's expression carefully, hoping for the best.

"You're talking about murder?" he finally said after a few moments, a frown on his face. Brittany closed her eyes and sighed.

"I've only done it once," she told him honestly, opening her eyes and looking at him, pleading for understanding, "The guy had multiple bullet wounds, one of them punctured his liver, blood was everywhere. There was nothing we could do except watch him die slowly of blood loss. So...I helped him move on." She paused, turning her head away, the memory of it causing a pain in her chest. "I'm not proud of it, but I'd do it again if the situation was that dire, and only that dire. Please understand, in no way have I made that part of my regular routine as a medic." She turned to look back at Wade and found him staring sadly down at his hands. Her expression turned to one of curiosity.

"Its OK," he said soflty before she could ask him what was wrong, slowly looking up at her, "You're not the only one whose done things you're not proud of." Brittany's brow furrowed as she looked at him, puzzled by his statement. He locked eyes with her and continued. "I saw one of your brothers at Omaha on D-Day. Me and the other medics were running up the beach and he was laying there, shot but still alive. I stopped to look at him, but my superior told me to move along, that there was nothing I could do to help. I took one last look at him as a left, and he was looking up at me, as though begging me for his help, but there really was nothing I could do. The bullet had gone through his chest and out his back. By the time I had got to him he was already laying in a pool of his own blood and-" Brittany quickly placed a hand on his shoulder, letting him know he could stop. She turned her head away from him, feeling that sense of loss again, but still no tears came.

"How did you know it was my brother?" she asked him, her voice shaking.

"His pack said Ryan S," Wade told her. Brittany closed her eyes again. It had been Sean. God, how many times had she lain awake at night, wondering whether she had done the right thing by patching him up and sending him back to fight. Why hadn't she just sent him on the boat to the hospital? If she had done that then he would still be here, alive. She turned to look at Wade, who had gone back to looking sadly at his hands, and opened her mouth to tell him that it was OK, but she was interrupted.

"What the hell are you two talking about over there?" Reiben yelled from over by the others. Brittany looked over at him, trying to appear irritated but she couldn't pull it off. She was still a little shook up from the thoughts of Sean.

"Just medic talk, Reiben," she shouted back, "Mind your own business!" Reiben raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, well, the Captain says its time to move out. Would you like me to tell him to mind his own business?" Brittany threw him a dirty look, once more getting annoyed at his arrogance, but knowing that she should probably do what he said if the Captain said to move out. She turned to look at Wade, to at least finish what she had been about to tell him, but he was already getting up and falling into position. She watched him go, a concerned look on her face, but she just silently stood up and followed him.

The rest of the day passed mostly in silence. There was some general chatter amongst them, especially the guys, but Wade remained queerly silent. Brittany was worried about how he had been acting ever since their talk during lunch. He seemed to be in a depression of sorts, perhaps feeling an extreme amount of guilt about what had happened to her brother. She wished she could tell him that she did not blame him for what happened, that she in fact blamed herself, but in order to cover more ground before nightfall, Captain Miller had held off on anymore extended breaks, and she was definitely not going to try talking about it within earshot of the others. She was still determined to not let the other guys found out until she felt comfortable sharing the information with them.

Lapsing into another state of deep thought, Brittany thought this time of Sean. He was her second oldest brother, the oldest being Daniel. She had always enjoyed a unique relationship with all of her brothers. Daniel was someone for her to look up to, the oldest, the bravest, the strongest. He had been a total car fanatic, and had begun teaching Brittany the ins and outs of cars just before he shipped out. Peter, the third oldest, had been a book worm, and rather fragile. He kept to himself a lot, but he was always trying to tell Brittany about some plant they found in the fields, or the time that he explained to her the benefits of spiders while she cowered in the corner from a rather large one they had found on their front porch. Jimmy, of course, had been special as her constant companion. Sean, well he was a little more difficult to categorize. He hadn't been particularly strong, or smart, a typically average middle child, except for his artistic ability. Sean had been blessed with the amazing ability to create things. Brittany had an entire box at home dedicated to the word carvings, clay figurines, and pencil drawings Sean had given her for birthdays and Christmas presents. He had even tried teaching her a few things, but she would never have the natural talent that he did.

"Whoo!" she heard Reiben shout, making her jump a little, "Holy shit! You guys smell that?" It took a few seconds for the smell to reach Brittany's nostrils, but when it did it attacked them viciously. She scrunched her face up in a grimace and clapped a hand over her nose and mouth.

"That's decomp," she said, her voice sounding nasally through her hand. She knew the smell well.

"You think?" Reiben replied sarcastically, having pulled his shirt up over his nose. Brittany glowered at him, and then took a look at their surroundings.

They were still in pretty open area, but there was a ditch and a hill up ahead that made her a little nervous. When it came to hills during war, you really never did know what was going to be on the other side, making them a cause for concern. Captain Miller called for a halt and then took Sergeant Horvath towards the ditch for a closer look. They were gone just a few minutes, but Brittany could feel herself getting nervous, a strange feeling that something was about to go seriously wrong creeping into her mind. She watched as Sarge and the Captain came back, and the looks on their faces didn't make her feel any more hopeful. Especially the look on Miller's face. It was the look of a man making a hard decision.

"What is it?" Mellish asked as they all knelt down in a circle. Miller didn't answer.

"Machine gun nest," Horvath told them, "MG-42." Brittany sighed deeply. Well, this was going to fun.

"Those paratroopers down there?" Reiben asked, "Maybe one of them is our guy." Brittany's heart dropped to her stomach, and for a second she stared at Reiben with wide-eyed fear. He looked at her with a puzzled expression, as though asking 'What?', and she quickly shook her head and turned her attention to Captain Miller.

"No," he said, still not looking at any of them, "Their patches said 82nd, so your luck's not that good." Brittany forced herself not to take a breath of a relief. No need to cause any more suspicion than she may already have.

"Yeah, well," Reiben said, "I don't know how fast the rest of you guys are, but I'm think we detour around this thing, quick and quiet, the krauts will never even know we were. So, Captain, what I'm saying is why don't we just go around it?"

"I hear what you're saying," Miller said, looking at the ground, "But we can't go around it."

While Jackson made some comment about leaving 88s somewhere, Brittany thought about what she was hearing from these men. Maybe it was just her inexperience with real battle, but she had been taught by General Boeing, and by Captain Hamill, that your duty in war is to fight, to take out any obstacle you come across if you can because that one thing could win the war, no matter how small. She couldn't believe she was hearing this guys say they wanted to go around the gun. Sure they could that, but then what happens to the next company that comes along? Apparently Miller felt the same way because Mellish had just backed Reiben and Jackson up with the idea of 'skipping it'.

"That what you guys want to do?" the Captain asked, "You just want to leave it here so it can ambush the next company that comes along?" Mellish looked mildly ashamed but pressed on.

"No, sir, thats not what I'm saying," he said, "I'm just saying it seems an unnecessary risk given our objective, sir."

"Our objective is to win the war!" Miller said abruptly now sounded like he was becoming slightly irritated by the attitude of his men. After that he got up and began jogging to another spot tucked behind the rise the kept them hidden from the gun. There was an open space in the trees for running out onto the field. Brittany was the first to get up and follow him, and then the rest of the guys came along. Miller began giving orders when they were all assembled. "Alright, three runners with suppressing fire, Mellish, you hook to the right, I'll go up the middle. Whose going left?" There was silence after this, all the guys look at each other nervously, waiting for someone to volunteer so they wouldn't have to do it. Brittany was, again, baffled by what she was seeing. So she decided to take matters into her own hands.

"I'll go left," she volunteered.

"No!" came the response from Reiben, Horvath, Mellish, and Wade. Captain Miller just stared at her with that unreadable expression that he had.

"I'll do it," Jackson said quickly after that, "I'll go left."

"Alright," Miller said, still looking at Brittany. After another moment her turned his gaze from her preparing to give further instructions to the men.

"You need me," Brittany said firmly, looking directly at the Captain, "Theres not enough people." Miller turned his face back to her, not saying anything. Instead, Reiben voiced his opinion.

"No," he said, shaking his head, "There is no way you're coming with us." She ignored him.

"Captain," she said, take a few steps towards him, keeping herself in a squatting position. She set herself in front of him, turning towards the open field that they would have to run across to get to the nest. She pointed, and Miller followed her finger. "Look, the space is too stretched out. There is no way that the six of you can take that gun. Wade isn't even armed, so really there are five of you."

"You're not going left," Captain Miller said, his tone not condescending but merely informative. Brittany shook her head.

"I don't need to go left," she told him, "We send Jackson left. Sarge and Mellish can go right, while you, me, and Reiben go up the middle. If the three of us can create a distraction with the grenades, and they'll be focused on us anyway being in the middle, then Jackson can set up his sniper post and see if he can pick off a few of the krauts. Meanwhile, Sarge and Mellish can see if they can find a way around the nest and get them from behind." She finished talking, and waited for Miller to reply. The rest of the guys sat in stunned silence, staring at the two of them.

"I like it," Miller finally said, nodding his head. Brittany grinned.

"I thought you might."

"I still don't see why you have to come with us," Reiben said.

"Two people isn't enough for a distraction," Miller answered before Brittany could. She just nodded, looking out over the field. What was she getting herself into?

"Alright," the Captain was saying again, "Upham give your weapon to Brittany, and you linger in the rear with her medical gear. We advance to keep pressure on him till he has to change out his barrels. Mags and clips where you can reach them, and extra grenades for the base runners." And with that final instruction, Captain Miller got up and began running out onto the field. It wasn't long before the others followed him.

Running out into the field, all bets were off. For a few seconds, Brittany couldn't even remember the plan. All she could think about was getting to the ditch surrounding the nest. Bullets were flying past her, hitting the ground in front of her and all around. She had no idea where Reiben or the Captain were, she just beelined for the ditch. It seemed so far away. For a moment or two, she didn't think she was going to make it, and then she was sliding over the edge of the ditch, rolling over to ground, hugging the wall of the hill the nest was perched on. She took several deep breaths, just trying to get her mind back on track. Suddenly everything came into sharp focus, and she could hear Reiben screaming at her to get moving. He ran by her, bringing the butt of his BAR not-so-lightly down on her helmet. That got her moving.

"Spread out!" Miller shouted over the gunfire, "Start throwing the grenades!" Brittany nodded her understanding and headed to the right, while Miller went left.

"Hey!" Reiben yelled after her, "Stay where I can see you!"

Brittany gave him a funny look, but there was definitely no time to think about it. Once the grenades started flying, the krauts fired back with their own. Explosions hit all around the three of them. Brittany couldn't even see through the clouds of dirt after a while. She just knew that Reiben was somewhere to her left. She wasn't even sure that their plan was working, all she was concerned with was diving out of the way of the grenades coming at her, or picking them up and throwing them fast enough to get them away from her before they exploded. She knew better than to grab a thrown grenade any time other than right away. To hesitate even a few seconds could mean losing a hand or even an entire arm.

What lasted barely five minutes, felt like it lasted hours. Her arms felt tired from throwing the grenades. She was sweating, and sand was sticking to her fingers when she dove out of the way of the return fire. It was during one such dive that she felt a hand on her shoulder. They were barely minutes into the miniature battle, but Brittany had already lost track of who was around her, so her heart jumped a little when Captain Miller shook her shoulder to get her attention. She looked up, wide-eyed, into his alert face. He had to scream to be heard over the raucous.

"Go see what's keeping Sergeant Horvath and Mellish!" he told her. She nodded her understanding and began crawling away from where he and Reiben were still trying to distract the German soldiers controlling the machine gun. As she moved, keeping herself as low as possible, she was aware of the sound of Jackson's rifle, and she prayed that it meant this would all be over soon. She hadn't even thought about the plan to have Horvath and Mellish go around the rear with Wade. She still wasn't completely sure how long it had been since their sprint across the field, but if Captain Miller that thought it had been long enough for the three's objected to have been completed, she wouldn't question it.

It didn't take her long to reach a spot where she could see Horvath and Mellish, though she had had a semi-close call with a machine gun spurt. She could see that the Sergeant and Mellish were pinned down, with Wade tucked somewhere behind them. Apparently the Germans had put up a better fight than they had imagined, and Jackson was not having as much luck as they had hoped. Brittany remained on her stomach, trying to see through the clouds of dust and exploding dirt. What she did see as there was a lull in the fire, probably for a reload on both sides, made her nearly scream out a warning. A German soldier was slowly making his way closer to where her three comrades were trying to break into the nest, and he was setting up his gun to fire. He was not too far from where she was.

Biting her tongue, hard, so that she would not scream and give away her position, Brittany quickly looked around and saw an M-1 lying next to a dead soldier on the ground. She snatched it up as fast as she could, whipped back around, took aim, and fired her second shot in the entire war. It found it's mark, and just in time. Soon as the kraut fell over she stood up and sprinted over to where Sarge, Mellish, and Wade were still stuck. As she thought would happen, she drew a mild round of machine gun fire. She felt a burning on the back of her calf, but she ignored it and made herself not feel it. She slammed down to the ground next to Mellish.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sergeant Horvath yelled at her. He sounded thoroughly annoyed.

"The Captain ordered me to come check on you guys!" Brittany shouted back at him.

"Yeah?" Horvath said irritably, "How we doing?" She gave him a look that said he didn't have to act like that, but she understood his stress. She was feeling it, too.

"Whats the problem?" asked Brittany. Mellish, who had glanced over the top of the hill to see what was going on, was the one to answer her.

"We got pinned down by that damn machine gun," he told her, speaking fast, "Then those damned krauts opened up when they figured out where we were, probably to let the MG find Jackson." He looked like a complete mess, Brittany noted, and she made the decision to pat him on the shoulder.

"It'll be OK," she told him, and then looked at Horvath, "What do you need to make this happen?"

"I need someone else to help with the covering fire so I can get into that nest," he answered, "And Wade ain't got a gun." Brittany glanced over at Wade, surprised at herself for not thinking about him earlier. She just had totally forgotten about him. Now, however, she tossed him the M-1 she had used to save their lives. He caught it, though just barely, looking at her a little wide-eyed.

"You know how to shoot, right?" she asked him, and he nodded, "Then help them. I've got to get back to Reiben and the Captain."

Brittany wasn't sure exactly how long she had been gone. It was surely no more than a few minutes, but it felt like a lifetime, and she hoped that the two men had been able to stay out of trouble while she had been gone. The three men nodded at her and without further ado she half-sprinted, half-crawled back to the position she had held with Miller and Reiben. She was nearly there when she tripped over something, probably a body, and fell in the sand. She sat up on her knees, brushing herself off, such an absurd thing to be worrying about in the midst of the battle. That was when Reiben spotted her and he stopped what he was doing to call over to her.

"Where the hell have you been?" he shouted, sounding angry, but the kind of angry that a parent is when they've been worried about their kid who comes home late. They're relieved to see them, but they still have to act angry. Before Brittany could answer him she watched as a grenade fell from the air and landed a mere foot behind him. Reiben hadn't seen it. Her eyes shot wide open with horror.

"Reiben MOVE!" she screamed at him, scrambling towards him as fast as she could.

Reiben had dived out of the way, but it was not far enough. Brittany ran over, and without thinking she grabbed the grenade and heaved it as hard as she could back where it had come from. Immediately she dropped to the ground on top of Reiben as the grenade exploded above their heads. Had she hesitated even half a second more before picking it up and throwing it, it would have exploded it in her hand. She lifted her head enough to see Reiben's face staring up at her. All of the attitude had left his expression. His eyes held only gratitude and wonder. She looked back at him, smiling a modest half-smile. A second later the two of them realized that the sound of gunfire had diminished, that they could no long here the machine gun. The two of them looked around in shared amazement, Brittany still laying on top of Reiben. Then they heard Sergeant Horvath.

"Hill's clear!" they heard him shout, "Four down and dead!" Then they heard the Captain.

"Upham!" Miller shouted, "Grab the medical gear and get up here! We need water and extra dressings now!" Brittany's eyes widened again and she pushed herself off of Reiben, her feet slipping a little as she tried running in the direction of the voices. She ran through the clouds of dust still hanging in the air until she finally came upon the others, all huddled around another person.

"No," she said in a pained whisper as she gazed down the wounded man, "Wade." For a short while she couldn't move. Her feet felt like they were glued to ground as she watched the blood flow from a wound in Wade's abdomen. Seeing him like that made her stomach flop and she just continued to stare, not believing what she was seeing. He was shot in the liver. He was shot in the damn liver.

"Put my legs up," Wade was saying, his voiced choked up and hoarse. He just kept saying that over and over again, until by the third time Brittany finally snapped out of her stupor, and jumped into action. In her heart she knew that there was nothing she could do, but in her mind she was still a medic with a duty to do.

"Put his legs up!" she barked as she stepped closer, bending down near Wade's head next to Mellish. Sarge finally picked Wade's legs up and settled them on his thighs. Brittany turned her attention back to the task as hand. Mellish was pouring as many packets of sulfa power on it that he would get his hands on, while she snatched Upham's canteen from him when he held it out and began trying to keep the blood clear long enough so she could get a proper look it. In the end the blood was just coming out too fast. In the meantime, Wade was trying to help them as much as he could.

"Am I shot in the spine?" he started asking, while they all did what the could. Sulfa here, a little morphine there. "Am I...am I shot in the spine?" Finally the Captain told them to flip him over. They did so gently so he could feel the whole, and told Wade it was about the size of an acorn. Brittany kept herself determinedly silent. She tried not to think about the hopelessness of the situation. She tried telling herself she could save him. While she was busy trying to wipe the blood away from the wound she heard Wade speak again.

"Is there anything bleeding worse the other?" he asked, and before Brittany could tell them not to do so, Mellish had directed Wade's hand over his wound. That was when things got bad. Wade knew as well as she did where the bullet had gone. " my liver! Oh my God, its my liver!" Hearing him cry out like that made her hands shake so bad that Brittany had to lean back while all the guys pressed their hands over the wound. She regarded the situation with emotion-filled eyes, her heart ready to break as her mind finally caught up with the idea that her friend was going to die.

"Tell us what to do, Wade," she heard Upham say, "Tell us how to fix you." Brittany listened as Captain Miller said the same thing and she watched as he turned his head to find her face.

"I-I could use a little more morphine," he said, and Brittany felt as though something had exploded in her chest. She couldn't talk, she wasn't even aware of herself breathing. Then Jackson was calling her name, asking her if more morphine was a good idea. She stood up, looking around in a disoriented manner. She couldn't believe this was happening.

"Brittany," Miller said, saying her name sternly.

"Give it to him," she said quickly, her voice sounding crisp and not her own, "Give it to him." She repeated herself, looking at each other them in turn, at their bewildered faces. This was too much.

Brittany could no longer take it. She got up and walked away, from Wade, from all of them. She didn't need to stay to know that Miller would do it. That he would listen to what she had said. She didn't need to stay and watch as the life drained out of Wade's body, and it didn't help that she knew he would go painlessly. She didn't need to listen to him call for his mother. She stumbled over to the grass, not stopping until she tripped again and fell to her knees. She buried her face in her hands, and just begged for it all to go away.


	6. Able to Cry

Disclaimer: Yes! I own Saving Private Ryan...JUST KIDDING! Hahaha! I fooled you all!

Note: Woot! Under two weeks for this one to get up! I think thats a record for me or something xD Ok before I start I've been forgetting to do something for the past few chapters. I would like to thank the following:

**Bobadoo**: Thank you for the many great reviews, and if anyone is looking for a good Band of Brothers fic I highly suggest reading her Lese Majeste.

**hansolo18**: Thank you for the review

**Nihilist09**: Thank you for the review.

All of your reviews are what keeps me writing, and you are why I was able to finish this chapter so quickly. Now on to the good stuff...

The flashback for this one is quite long, yay for me! I think its the longest one so far. Hope you guys like it. The dialogue between the characters in the end gave me a lot of issues. I wanted to keep the guys in character, but I needed them to say certain things. I think it turned out all right, though. Let me know what you think! I am my own worst critic, as I'm sure all of you writers understand, which is why your reviews are so important to me :) Only two more chapters to go! Both of them, especially the last one, should be pretty long. The last one might get split up even, but I haven't decided that yet. We'll see how long it starts being when I start writing it. So, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I rather enjoyed writing it. And don't forget to review!

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**Chapter Six: Able to Cry**

_"Brittany, its time to wake up."_

_Opening her eyes groggily, Brittany rolled over in bed and looked up at her mother, who was standing over her. Her mother nudged her shoulder again, and she pushed her hand away. She covered her head with her blanket. She knew what her mother was getting her up for, and she had already said she wasn't going, so why was her mother still insisting that she get up? She wasn't going, she refused to go._

_"Young lady," her mother said, her voice growing stern, and Brittany could just picture her standing there with her hands on her hip, "You are going to this rally, and thats final." Brittany sat up suddenly in bed, looking defiantly at her mother._

_"Mom!" she exclaimed, "I said I didn't want to go when you told me about it days ago. What makes you think I want to go now?" She folded her arms firmly and sat there in her bed, intent on staying just where she was. But her mother was not going to give up that easily._

_"Brittany," she said, "This rally is in support of the army, of which your brothers are a part. Are you saying that you don't want to do anything you can to support them while they're away?" Brittany groaned and flopped down onto her back, covering her face with her hands._

_They had been over this same thing many times in the last few days. Every time they argued, her mother always tried to guilt trip her into going to the rally by mentioning her brothers. It almost succeeded, except when she happened to mention James. As soon as her mother said his name, Brittany clammed up, stomped to her room, and slammed the door. Perhaps she could be persuaded to go to support her three oldest brothers, not not James, not anymore. She was still very upset and angry about what had happened. Her mother kept telling her that it would pass, that she would feel better about things eventually, but Brittany was less sure._

_"Mom," she started to say, but was cut off._

_"No," her mother said sharply, pointing a stiff finger at her, "You are going to this rally Brittany Marie, and thats final." With that her mother turned and left the room, leaving Brittany thoroughly disgruntled. She knew that when he mother used her middle name there was nothing she could do._

_Grudgingly, Brittany got out of bed, swinging her legs over the side and standing up, stretching her arms and back. She glanced at her side table, where a picture sat of herself. She was on Jimmy's back, her arms around his neck. They were both smiling brightly. She stared at the photograph, her face blank, and then she reached over and pulled it so it faced down on the table. She went to her dresser and pulled on one of her plain dresses. She really disliked dressing like the other girls her age, but she supposed she was better off getting back in her mother's good graces today. When she was ready, she walked out to the kitchen, tying a pink ribbon into her hair. Her mother was just putting the final touches on her own appearance. She turned when Brittany came closer._

_"Are you ready?" she said cheerily, and Brittany resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She nodded. "Great! The Ackers should be here soon with their car to pick us up, and please, try not to be too rude to Thomas this time. He really is a sweet boy."_

_This time, Brittany did roll her eyes. Thomas was the Acker family's oldest son, and he seemed to have convinced himself that he and Brittany were destined to be together. The guy was relentless. A honk outside told them that their ride was there. She and her mom left the house. The Ackers were all standing outside their car, waving at them. Brittany put on her best smile as she and her mom waved back. Thomas, of course, quickly walked up to Brittany and took her hand, giving the top of it a quick kiss. Oh, how she would have liked to smack him. Instead, she smiled an over sweet smile at him, and they all walked over to the car. Hands were shook all around, everyone saying _'Pleasure to see you again'_ and such. Just as they were all about to crawl into the vehicle, Brittany turned and stuck her thumb and forefinger in her mouth, letting out a loud, high-pitched whistle._

_"Charlie!" she called. From the barn, she heard a joyous barking as her golden-furred mutt came sprinting to where she was standing. She squatted down and ruffled his ears when he halted in front of her. "Good boy." Her mother, obviously aware of the plan stepped forward._

_"No," she said sternly, "You are not bringing the dog." Brittany looked up at her mother, her face set in a scowl._

_"Oh, yes, he is," she said, standing up straight, "I don't even want to go to this stupid thing, so I'm at least going to bring Charlie to keep me company!" Her mother stepped back, looking over at Mr. and Mrs. Acker, clearly embarrassed by Brittany's behavior. She didn't care at the moment, however._

_"He won't fit anyway," her mother said, looking triumphant. Things would have gotten considerably more messy, with Brittany ready to shout back something not appropriate, if Thomas hadn't stepped in._

_"I can carry the dog in my lap," he said, looking at Brittany and her mother, "Hes not so big. Are you little guy?" He squatted down at reached out to pet Charlie. The dog set a low rumbled in his chest, and Thomas yanked his hand back and stood up. Brittany hid her smile behind her hand. Her mother agreed, though she did not look happy about it, and they were finally able to be on their way._

_The drive into town for the rally was traveled uneventfully. In the past when the Ackers had offered to give Brittany's family rides into town for things, Thomas talked nonstop about anything he could think of that might interest her. He would have done so this time, and tried, but every time he opened his mouth Charlie would lick him in the face continually until he gave up again. They arrived into town, managed to find a place to park, and then they walked the rest of the way into town as a group. Brittany grudgingly looped her arm into Thomas' as they walked, Charlie walking obediently beside her. He had never needed a leash._

_The rally itself was as dull as Brittany had imagined, and all it did was long for her brothers to be home. Though, as far as she was concerned, Europe could keep Jimmy. With such thoughts in her head, she stood next to Thomas looking quite grumpy, but he seemed not to care as long as her arm remained in his. She did not look at him, even when he spoke to her, but watched the parade and the festivities blankly, feeling no sense of patriotism as she did so. Her brothers were over their risking their lives with God knew how many other young boys, and all the people in the States could think to do was have a celebration. She didn't care if it was raising money, it seemed pointless to her. She was dragged out of such thoughts by Thomas' voice._

_"Brittany," he said pleasantly, "Where is Charlie?" Brittany's head snapped downward, looking beside her. Charlie was not there. Her eyes went wide._

_"Oh, no," she said softly, and then she slipped her arm out of Thomas' grasp and began pushing her way through the crowd, calling her dog's name. _

_Brittany had no idea where he could have gone. He was usually such a good dog. He must have seen another dog while she wasn't looking. She cursed herself as she searched, knowing that she was usually able to detour Charlie from going to investigate by a tug on his collar, but she had been too busy thinking about other things. She was began to get frantic when she wasn't locating him immediately, then she heard barking. She shoved her way through the swarms of people till she was on the edge of the road through which the parade was moving, and she saw him. He was on the other side of the road, gnawing on a hot dog that someone had dropped. He looked up and saw her, wagging his tail, and for a moment Brittany relaxed. Then she saw the black car speeding up the road, not necessarily fast, but Brittany could almost see what was about to happen before it did. Sure enough, Charlie got up and began bounding across the road to her. She held out both her hands._

_"Charlie, NO!" she screamed. But it was too late. _

_Later that evening, the Ackers dropped her and her mom off. Thomas got out of the car to hold the door open for them. As she passed him he murmured his condolences. She just brushed right past him, not towards the house, but towards the barn. Her mother didn't even try to stop her. It was beside the barn, that her brothers had built Charlie's dog house. She stood next to the modest construction, the thought that Charlie would not be sleeping in it ever again hitting her like a brick. She fell to her knees, gripping tight the collar she held in her hand. Thomas had taken it off Charlie before they had taken him away. She hadn't even had the strength to thank him. On her knees in front of the empty dog house, Brittany buried her face in her hands and cried..._

* * *

Brittany didn't know where she was. She had been kneeling on the ground for an unknown amount of time. It was still light out, so she assumed it hadn't been long. Vaguely she could hear voices off behind her somewhere, but she had ceased caring about that. Her body felt numb, incapable of movement. Slowly, she remembered where she was and what had happened. As a medic she had witnessed death more times than she would ever care to count, but Wade had been so different, the shock of it had been too much for her to handle. She had forgotten about Reiben and the other guys, she had forgotten about Jimmy. All she could see was Wade's face in her mind, blood covering his mouth, choking his last words out. She couldn't get it out, couldn't get it to leave. All she could do was stay there, her knees digging into the dirt, staring into the palms of her hands. Finally, she heard a familiar voice.

"Hey, Brittany," Jackson said, "Is, uh, are there bandages in your first aid kit? A bullet skinned my arm, I got to get it cleaned and dressed." Lifting her head from her hands, Brittany didn't look back at him. She didn't want him to see the pure anguish on her face. She cleared her throat a little so she could talk semi-coherently.

"Yeah," she said, her voice heavy with emotion, "First pocket in the front." She heard him walk off, thankful that he knew better than to stick around and try to talk to her. She stared down at her hands.

In her few months in France it seemed that her hands were almost always stained with some poor soldier's blood. But this was different. Brittany stared at her red fingers, and realized that her hands were wet. She was crying. Tear drops landed on her hands, creating pools of swirling red where they landed. She was bewildered at first, then ashamed at herself. How could she cry for him? How could she cry for Wade when she couldn't even cry for her own brothers? More tears fell as she reached into one of her pockets and produced a rag, beginning to wipe furiously at her hands. The rage wasn't even wet, and so she made little progress, but she just kept scrubbing, not even stopping when her hands began to hurt.

"Woah, woah, woah," she heard a gentle voice say, and Brittany suddenly felt another pair of hands on her own. She turned her tear-stained face up to see Reiben squatting down nest to her.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked her, taking the rag away from her, "You're going to rub your skin clean off your hands." She looked away from him.

"I don't have my canteen," Brittany answered lamely, settling for the half-truth. Reiben looked at her with a look that said he didn't believe her, but he didn't say anything. He just reached behind him and grabbed his own canteen from his belt. He poured some water over the rag and began wiping her hands clean for her. She turned her head back to watch him work, somehow fascinated by the process. The effect was almost soothing, and she felt herself begin to calm.

"How is everyone?" she finally managed to ask. Reiben glanced up as he finished cleaning her hands and shrugged a little.

"None the worse for wear, I guess," he said, "We caught the kraut who was firing the machine gun. Most of us wanted to shoot the bastard right then and there, but the Captain made him dig graves for the paratroopers and..." He trailed off, looking at her almost apologetically. She gave a nod of her head, as though telling him it was alright, and he finished. "For the paratroopers and Wade. Then he told me to come check on you." Brittany nodded distractedly, looking off to the side again. When Reiben announced himself finished, she stood up, wiping her hands dry on her trousers.

"Thanks," she said, her voice still sounding strained and melancholy, but for the most part she felt better, "I think I'll go make sure Jackson cleaned his wound properly. I don't want him getting sick or something." And with that she left, leaving Reiben to watch her back as she left him squatting there, bloody rag still in one hand. She was grateful for his help, but being around him was giving her that drowning feeling in her chest again.

The next couple of hours were spent uneventfully for Captain Miller's squad. Brittany had helped Jackson with his arm, and then Miller had instructed her to watch the perimeter with Mellish and Reiben. If she had not been in such a state-of-mind as she was, she would have felt proud that the Captain was giving her such an assignment. She stood with Mellish, gun in hand, gazing out over the fields beyond their separate circle, shielded by trees on almost all sides. She knew that on the other side somewhere, their German prisoner was digging graves, supervised by Jackson and Upham. She had not wanted to see him, not wanted to know his face. She didn't care whether or not he had really been the one to shoot Wade, but only that he was the enemy, and so he deserved to die.

At some point, Brittany didn't know how long she had been standing there, Jackson called to Mellish and Reiben, telling them it was time. She turned to follow them, knowing they would probably not let her participate even if she wanted to, and she didn't. They were going to kill the kraut, and so what? It was the nature of war. They all crowded around the hole the German had been digging, Upham sharing a cigarette with him, Brittany among them. The soldier sensed what was coming, and began to plead with them, spouting colorful verbal excerpts of what he believed to be American culture in an attempt to make them believe he was not a threat to them. She could almost not bear to listen to him. They dragged him out of the hole, and as she watched she suddenly realized that not only was she not willing to participate, she felt herself unwilling to let this happen at all. But that was absurd. Maybe the man hadn't been the one to shoot Wade, but he was still guilty. Who knew how many Americans he had killed? But then, she wondered how many men Reiben, Jackson, Mellish and the others had killed. Did that make them guilty, too?

"This isn't right!" she heard Upham cry, pulling her out of her thoughts as she focused her attention on what was happening. Upham was pleading with the Captain, telling him not to let them kill the German. Brittany had always known that Upham thought differently than the rest of them, that he was not a typical soldier, but she had never pegged him to be so bold. She watched silently, keeping her own thoughts to herself. The Captain blindfolded the kraut, and she was sure that any moment the fatal shot would ring out. Instead it was a different sound she heard.

"Upham," the Captain said calmly, "Tell him to march a thousand paces in that direction, then he can take the blindfold off, we'll be long gone." Brittany couldn't believe what she was hearing. For the second time that day, their leader had surprised her. While Upham busily spoke the instructions in German to their prisoner, the other guys did not seem as pleased.

"This is such bullshit," Mellish said as they all watched the German walk away from them, stumbling blindly down the road. Jackson agreed with him, and Reiben was shouting at Upham. Brittany rubbed both hands over her face, as though she could wipe it all away. She couldn't take all the shouting. Not now. The Captain seemed unaffected by it all.

"Get your gear," he told them, "Lets go." Most of them began shuffling towards their gear, Brittany included. Reiben stood where he was, staring firmly at Captain Miller.

"You heard him, gear up," Sergeant Horvath repeated, but Reiben still didn't move, and Brittany could feel something building up, "Captain just gave you an order."

"Yeah," Reiben said, almost calmly, beginning to take a few steps towards Miller, "Like the one he gave to take this machine gun. That was a real doozy wasn't it, Sarge?" Horvath tried to stop him, telling Reiben he was out of line, but Reiben kept going. "Yes, sir, that was one hell of a call coming to take this nest. But what the hell we only lost one of our guys doing it, right?" He was in the Captain's face now, continuing his tirade. "I swear I hope Mama Ryan's real fucking happy knowing that little Jimmy's life is a little more important than two of our guys. But then again we haven't found him yet, have we? Have we?" He was all but screaming the last part, and then Sarge shoved him to the ground. Brittany was standing there, staring blankly at Reiben, wanting to kick and scream at him. How dare he say that about her mother? He had no idea how she felt. He had not right to talk that way. But there was no time to think about this as she watched everything unfold.

"Reiben get up," Sarge told him, and Reiben stood, "Gear up, fall in." Reiben looked at him, then at the Captain, anger still burning in his eyes. For a second Brittany thought he was going to do it, that nothing would get out of hand, but she should have known better.

"I'm done with this mission," Reiben said, his voice low now, and he grabbed his pack and started walking away. Brittany was bewildered, and part of her wanted to run after him, but she stayed put. They all looked to the Captain, but he was still staring at nothing, that blank and distant look on his face again. He was just letting Reiben walk away, but Sarge had other plans. He started jogging to get ahead of Reiben again.

"Hey, hey!" he shouted as Reiben stopped and turned to face him, "Don't you walk away from your Captain, Reiben. Get back in line." Reiben refused, and Brittany watched wide-eyed as Horvath pulled his handgun from behind his back. "I'm not going to ask you again, private." All hell broke loose after that.

"Captain!" Upham shouted.

"This is bullshit," Jackson said, pulling out his own gun. Mellish pleaded with the Captain to stop this, saying over and over again that her brother was dead, that he felt it in his bones. Meanwhile, Sarge and Reiben were shouting back and forth at each other, Horvath continuing to point the gun right at Reiben. Brittany was trying to look everywhere at once, hoping that the Captain would interfere and stop this, but knowing that by the look on his face it wasn't going to happen soon enough. So, she took matters into her own hands.

"I'm going to shoot you in your big, God damn mouth!" Horvath was yelling as she darted forward, placing herself between them.

"Well, put your money where your mouth is and do it already!" Reiben yelled back, and then looked at her, his eyes suddenly shining with something that wasn't anger, "Brittany get the hell out of here." His voice was softer when he said this, but still stern.

"No," she said simply, "I'm not going to stand by and let Sarge do something as stupid as waste a bullet on you." She was still a bit angry over his earlier comment about her mother.

"Brittany, just move so I can get a clear shot," Sarge yelled at her, sounding like a man possessed, "This is mutiny and I won't let him get away with it!"

"No!" Brittany said again, "I will not let you do this! Just let him go!"

"Brittany just go!" Reiben shouted at her, "You don't have to defend me. I can handle this myself!" Brittany rounded on him, her eyes ablaze.

"Fine!" she screamed back at him, "After the way you talked about my mother earlier I shouldn't be helping you anyway!" And then she stormed off, but she didn't get very far. Not only did she realize what she had just said, but Captain Miller was suddenly speaking.

"Mike," he called to Horvath, "Whats the pool on me up to?" Everyone stopped, Sarge and Jackson both frozen with their guns up, all eyes on the Captain. "Whats it up to? Three hundred dollars? Is that it, three hundred? I'm a school teacher. I teach English Composition...in this little town called Adley, Pennsylvania." Slowly, Brittany watched as Sarge lowered his gun. "The last eleven years, I've been at Thomas Alva Edison High School. I was a coach of the baseball team in the springtime. Back home, I tell people what I do for a living and they think well, now that figures. But over here, it's a big, a big mystery. So, I guess I've changed some. Sometimes I wonder if I've changed so much my wife is even going to recognize me, whenever it is that I get back to her. And how I'll ever be able to tell her about days like today. Ah, Ryan. I don't know anything about Ryan. I don't care. The man means nothing to me. It's just a name. But if... you know if going to Rumelle and finding him so that he can go home. If that earns me the right to get back to my wife, then that's my mission." He turned to Reiben, looking at him with those eyes that seemed to always remain calm.

"You want to leave?" he asked Reiben, "You want to go off and fight the war? All right. All right, I won't stop you. I'll even put in the paperwork. I just know that every man I kill the farther away from home I feel."

And then, just like that, the great mystery of Captain Miller had been solved. He walked away from them now, and Brittany followed suit. They went to the graves that had been dug earlier, finally putting the bodies in the ground. Slowly, the other guys joined them. Even Reiben, after he began walking away as he intended, dropped his back and went to help them. Brittany would never admit how glad she was that he made the decision to stay. She offered him a small smile, which he returned, as he helped her grab the wrapped body of one of the paratroopers and lowered it into the hole. Other than that the process carried on in silence, until Reiben spoke up.

"Brittany," he said casually, "I got a question for you." She was busy shoveling dirt over one of the bodies.

"Yeah?" she replied, not looking up from her work, "Shoot."

"Whats your last name?" Reiben asked, "Your real one." She stopped just as she shoved the tool into the soft pile of dirt. She turned her face up to look at him. The other guys stopped what they were doing, watching the pair in silence. Finally, Brittany answered.

"Why ask a question you already know the answer to?" she said, keeping her voice steady as she stared intensely at him. He matched her intensity with a stare of his own.

"Because I want to hear you say it." The calm determination in his voice made Brittany look back down at the ground, as though she couldn't bare to look at his face anymore. In truth, she couldn't. She had been through two days with these men, keeping her secret from all but one, and that had been a slip up. Wade was dead now, and she thought that she could keep it from the others. She had apparently been wrong, but that was alright. She knew that the only reason she had been able to slip up in front of Reiben was because she knew it didn't matter anymore. She could tell them. She took a deep breath.

"My name is Brittany Marie Ryan," she began, "I have..._had_ four older brothers. Their names are Daniel, Sean, Peter...and James." She turned her face up again, looking at each one of them in turn, ending with Reiben. "I didn't want you guys resenting me for being his sister. I figured it was going to be hard enough traveling with you, being who I am. I didn't want anymore trouble than I already had in my life." She expected them to say something, to ask why she hadn't told them, but instead they just returned to their work in silence. She watched them in puzzlement a moment, but then she continued shoveling dirt over the dead paratrooper, smiling to herself.

They buried Wade's body last. Brittany couldn't bare to help lift the body, and so Reiben and Jackson completed the task. They climbed out of the grave, and Brittany squatted down on the side, gazing down at the wrapped body of her friend. She could feel tears threatening to fall, and she let the single pair of them trail down her cheeks. She had found a patch of wildflowers growing in the field nearby, and she threw one down now onto the bundle. It wasn't much, but it was the least she could do for Wade.

"You were the first friend I've made here," she said softly, her voice slightly choked, "I'll never forget you." And then she paused, gathering herself for the last bit. "And its not your fault Sean died. Its not your fault." She couldn't say anymore, a lump had formed in her throat. She stood up and turned her back, listening to the others shovel dirt over Wade.

That night they decided to camp instead of continue marching. After talking to him Brittany got Captain Miller to agree that they had all had a long day, and a good night's sleep was in order for everyone. It simply wouldn't have been healthy for them if that kept going through the night as they had been. They moved far enough away from the machine gun nest to feel safe, and then made camp in a little valley made by the hills. They ate dinner, and then the Captain set up sentry duty. By that time it was already dark out, the stars twinkling in the sky. Everyone picked a spot on the ground and laid down. All except for Reiben. He had the first watch and so he wondered to the top of one of the hills and sat down, his BAR across his lap.

Brittany watched this from her place on the grass, gazing up at his barely visible silhouette, and then tried to get some sleep. It didn't work, and a mere half hour later, she was awake again. Everyone else was peacefully slumbering, except for Mellish, who was snoring quite loudly. She looked up to the top of the hill, where Reiben was still sitting, still keeping watch. His turn ended in another half an hour. She got up, brushing off her pants, and grabbed her blanket, which she wrapped around her body. It was a little cold that night. That done, she walked slowly up the hill, until she stood next to him.

"Hey," she said quietly. Reiben jumped a little and looked up at her. Brittany smiled at him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He shook his head as she sat down.

"No," he said, "You didn't startle me I just...what are you doing awake?" She was so used to the question by now she merely shrugged.

"I don't sleep well," she told him, "Haven't gotten a good night's sleep since I got to France back in February. Even if I didn't have a problem sleeping, though, I don't think I could tonight. I can't get his face out of my head." She was talking about Wade, looking straight ahead now, as though scared of looking directly at Reiben.

"We all miss him, you know?" he told her softly, "I knew Wade a long time, watched him grow up in a sense. I still remember his first day in the company. He was all nerves, and damn clumsy. He walked right into this guy who was carrying his laundry bag, and clothes just exploded everywhere. The guy, was yours truly." Brittany turned her head to look at him now, smiling curiously, which was sure to have been Reiben's intention. "Oh, yeah. I gave him all kinds of hell for it, too, and the next thing you know we're the best of buddies. He turned out to be a great soldier. He saved me life more than once, and more other guys than I can count, but that is the way that war works. Its what we all signed up for. What I'm trying to say is...you can't go blaming yourself." Brittany had been looking away, but not she turned her head sharply to look at him, her face mildly alarmed. Reiben just smiled knowingly at her. Slowly her expression turned gum and she looked away again.

"I gave him the gun," she said hollowly, not wanting to say the rest but knowing that she had to if she ever wanted to be able to live with herself again, "He was doing what he was supposed to do, just hanging back in case someone got hurt. But, Sarge needed another person to help, and I needed to get back to you and the Captain. I had picked up an M-1 becauser there was a German that was trying to sneak up on them, and shot him with it. I gave the gun to Wade before I headed back. If I had stayed and helped them then he would still be alive." She stopped, her throat closing with emotion. There was a short pause.

"But I wouldn't," Reiben said to her, "You saved my life by picking up that grenade, which by the way was completely stupid and reckless." Brittany turned to look at him again, a shadow of a smile touching her lips.

"So you would have done the same thing, then?" she said, trying to sound humorous, but she only sounded melancholy.

Losing Wade had hit her harder than she'd expected. For the past few months, she had felt as thought she'd become emotionless, a shell of the person she had been. It had started when she arrived at Neuville, when he had assumed actualy combat duties. She thought it was the only way to become an effective soldier. With no emotional attachment to the people around her, it wouldn't matter if they were hurt or killed. She should have realized when she put up such a fight with Captain Hamill about leaving that she had failed to put a wall around her heart, that it was impossible not to feel anything about the men you fought with. Sitting there on that hill, she felt a hand on her shoulder and nearly leaped out of her skin.

"Shit, take it easy," Reiben said, laughter in his voice, and a smirk on his face, "I just wanted to officially say thanks. Not just for saving my life, though thats definitely a big one, but you did a good job helping us take that nest. I honestly never thought you'd be much use in combat." Brittany looked at him indignantly and gave him a playful shoved, laughing in spit of herself. Reiben laughed, too, holding his hands up in defense. "Hey, you didn't let me finish. I _thought_ that, but you proved me wrong. You must have learned something from somebody."

At this time, Reiben decided to take a break to pull a cigarette from this pocket and light it, leaving Brittany to think about the people like Captain Hamill and General Boeing, the men who had made her the solder that she was. They had taught her what she needed to know, the ins and outs of life in war. They taught her to ration her food, keep one eye on her surroundings at all times, and they had both given her strict orders on how she was to conduct herself. She felt this was slightly demeaning, but she also was able to admit that her situation was unique. Even Captain Miller had had given her such instruction in his own way. What none of them had done, was prepare her for combat.

"Reiben, what was it like on D-Day?" she asked suddenly. She had no idea why she had asked, but one look at Reiben made her regret it immediately. He looked the same way that Wade had looked when he was talking about his mother back in Neuville. She quickly turned her face away, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I...I shouldn't have asked. Its none of my business." There a heavy silence that followed, and Brittany almost got up when he spoke.

"A lot of guys got seasick," he started in a slow, low voice, "Thats what I remember most, and once one guy got started, usually the rest of the guys in the stick followed suit. There was just puke everywhere, so when we landed everyone wanted out of there quick. But, the krauts had us so zeroed in that most of the guys going out the front didn't have a chance. If I hadn't been in the back I would have bought it right there, but the Captain starts shouting for us to go over the side, so over the side I go. My BAR nearly drowned me once I hit the water, so I had to ditch, found another one later. The rest sort of blurs together. I floundered my way out of the channel, staying as close to the Sarge as I could. We made a mad dash up that beach, somehow managing to avoid all the gunfire. All I remember of the battle after that is running and shooting, and the smell of burning bodies when one of our guys torched a room full of krauts." He paused to take a drag of his cigarette, and Brittany could see that his hand was shaking. "Anyway, we managed to get the beach secured, and the guys started celebrating. I felt pretty good myself, until I went to the aid station to have a minor wound looked at and saw all the dead bodies. I didn't feel like celebrating after that." He sighed heavily and looked pointedly at the ground. Brittany looked at him sadly, feeling such a desire to do something for him. She scooted an inch or two towards him, and put her arm around his shoulders, looking at him with kind eyes.

"A wise man once told me that you can't go blaming yourself," she said, smiling at him. He turned his head, looking at her with raised brows. Slowly, he smiled, too. They just looked at each other for a moment, and for the first time Brittany noticed what wonderfully blue eyes he had.

Then they were kissing, before either of them could stop and think. For a few seconds, Brittany felt no grief, but only desire for the kiss not to end. She even reached her hand up to caress his cheek, just as his own hand brushed against her short hair. And then she pulled back abruptly, eyes widened slightly, looking away quickly, as though embarrassed and ashamed of herself. She breathed heavily a moment, looking determinedly at the ground, not wanting to look at what she was sure would be a thoroughly puzzled expression on Reiben's face.

"I shouldn't have done that," she said, "It wasn't appropriate." She wanted to just disappear. She could feel his eyes staring at her, but she just couldn't look.

"Right," she heard Reiben say, "Inappropriate. Well, I guess thats that then." She heard him start to get up when a voice sounded behind them.

"What are you two up to over here?" Jackson asked cheerily. Brittany chanced a glance up and over her shoulder. She watched as Reiben looked briefly down at her before striding right past Jackson without saying a word. Jackson looked after him, a baffled expression on his face, and then he walked forward and sat down next to Brittany. "What was that about?"

"I don't know," she answered with a sigh.

"Liar," he said plainly, gazing alertly out in front of them. Brittany turned to look at him, frowning. He looked at her, smiling. "So, you're from Iowa, that right?" Now he had really confused her, but she decided it was a simple enough question.

"Yeah," she said, "Payton, Iowa." Jackson's smile brightened.

"Really? I got family there!" Very interested now, Brittany shifted her position so that her entire body was facing him, an excited expression on her face.

"Really?" she said. He nodded.

"Yeah," he said, "My Aunt Ethel, her husband Robert, and their boys live up there. Acker is their name." She was practically bouncing on the spot.

"Oh, yes!" Brittany said happily, "I know the Ackers. Their youngest son used to help my brothers in our fields." She was so thrilled at the prospect of knowing someone back home that was a relative of one of the men she was with, she didn't even recall what her last association with the Ackers had been like. She just smiled at Jackson. "Its so nice to finally meet another farm person. I swear I've only managed to meet city boys so far." Jackson smiled and nodded again.

"Yeah," he said, "I know what you mean. 'Course I've met guys from all over the place. I met a guy from California once, even. I thought 'Talk about being far away from home...', you know? But I guess we're all pretty far away from home. Though that doesn't seem to stop us soldiers from bonding so closely together." Jackson paused to pull out a cigarette and light it, Brittany unable not to remember Reiben doing the same thing earlier, and it pained her somewhat to think of him. Meanwhile, Jackson was continuing to talk. "See, where we're from doesn't matter, because we're on the same side, we care about each other in a way that no civilian ever could. Maybe we didn't ask for any of this, but we got it. My mom used to say that sometimes you just don't get to choose things in life, like the things we have to do, who our friends are...or even who we love." He looked pointedly at Brittany out of the corner of his eye. She looked at him wide-eyed, partly fearful of his insight, and partly amazed. He smiled a little at her and she relaxed a bit. With a small smile of her own she stood up, preparing to head back to camp. After only a few steps, however, she stopped and looked back at Jackson.

"So how long were you standing there?" she asked him curiously.

"Long enough," he said simply, and even though he didn't look back at her, Brittany could tell her was grinning broadly. She smiled a little wider to herself, nodding her head, as she turned back around.

Walking back down the hill to where the others were sleeping, Brittany's mind was alive with activity. She regretted what she did to Reiben, regretted pulling back, but even so a part of her believed that she had made the right choice. This was not the time nor the place for things like love. They were surrounded by death all day, fighting for their survival. There just wasn't any time for anything else. She tiptoed lightly around the snoozing bodies of her fellow soldiers. Reiben was already asleep, or else pretending to be. She stretched out on the ground where she had been earlier, resting her head on her pack. Sleep did not come to her for a long while, for her mind was too busy thinking about other things...


	7. Bittersweet Surprises

Disclaimer: Ok, I DID own Saving Private Ryan, but have since relinquished ownership and therefore do not own anything from the film anymore. Sucks, don't it?

Note: Woot! Second to last chapter! I can't believe I'm this close to finishing this thing xD Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this. It took me longer than I had hoped to write, but it is the longest chapter so far so I guess that makes it okay. A few things before I get to thanking my wonderful reviewers. The end of this chapter is a bit of a surprise for all of you. Its been in my head since this fic's creation, and I've finally gotten to the point where I could write it out. It seems a little silly when I look at it, but then again I'm a very silly person xD And I think its cute, and at least semi-realistic. I mean, what would you do if you were in Reiben's shoes thinking you were about to die? Anyway, onto the Thank You section!

Bobadoo: Just the fact that you've reviewed my last 3-4 chapters amazes me and I am eternally grateful. And seriously everyone, Lese Majeste is an amazing fic. Go to their profile and check it out!!

RagDollRomance: Holy crap you're my hero O.O Your review was beautiful! Those are the kind of reviews I live for! I LVOE YOU! cough Ok I apologize for that xD But seriously, you rock.

Well, I think thats about it. Oh, isn't the flashback amazingly lengthy (grins widely) Thats what took me so long. Alright, well, go on all your anxious readers. Get to reading, and don't forget to leave a little review when you're done.

PS: As I was trying to do a look-through for spelling and grammar mistakes my father "kindly" told me that it was time to get off the computer, so I apologize for any errors in this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Bittersweet Surprises**

_"Brittany..." The voice was right next to her ear, but Brittany just shrugged the hand that was on her shoulder off and pulled the blankets over her head._

_"Come on, Britt, wake up," a different voice said, pulling the blanket off of her. She sat up, staring blearily and blinking in the darkness. For a moment all she could see was black, then slowly she could see the outlines of bodies. Three of her brothers were gathered around her bed. She groaned sleepily and rubbed at her eyes._

_"What do you guys want?" she asked irritably, still adjusting to the dark. She had no possible idea as to why her brothers would be waking her up so late. By her estimates it was past midnight. She finished trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes and she was able to make out some facial features on the brothers before her. Seany, Petey, and Jimmy. Where was Danny?_

_"Get up," the first voice, Sean's, said, "We have something to show you." Sighing heavily, Brittany swung her legs over the bed and stood up, figuring that she was awake now anyway, so she may as well see what the big deal was. The three of them led her out of her room, and they all tiptoed down the hall past their mother's room. Brittany didn't even want to think about what her mother would say about them all being up this late._

_There was no talking as they all quietly exited the house. Brittany's mind buzzed with activity as she struggled to think of what it could be that her brothers wished to show her. She took some solace in the fact that Jimmy looked as puzzled as she did. This was Sean and Pete's game. As they all walked single file in the yard, heading in the direction of the barn, Brittany felt something brush against her hand and almost cried out, managing to keep her exclamation down to a low squeak. Even so, her brothers all turned and held their fingers to their lips, glaring at her. She looked at them apologetically and then glanced down at Charlie, who was sitting there wagging his tail happily as he looked up at her with his friendly canine face. She stroked his head and whispered a command for him to return to his doghouse. He left obediently, glancing back as he did so._

_After that things were pretty uneventful as Sean and Pete led her and Jimmy to the ladder they had built into the back of the barn so they could climb into the loft from the outside. They all made their way up as silently as possible until the four of them were on their hands and knees in the layer of hay that was up here. Brittany was still very much confused until she had followed Sean and Pete further along the length of the loft, where Sean pointed towards the lower level of the barn, a mischievous smile on his face. Brittany glanced down at the same time as Jimmy did and they both fell back on the way, both hands plastered over their mouths in an attempt to smother their gales of laughter. Sean and Pete looked rather pleased with themselves._

_There were hay piles everywhere in the barn, which served a dual purpose on the Ryan farm. The ones along the edges of the barn were put there to prevent injuries if one were to fall out of the loft, which happened more than their mom would have liked. Then there was a large pile surrounded by bound bales. Having sold most of the animals after their father passed away, the barn was not used for much except a place for the siblings to hang out and bring their friends. The hay pile had been constructed for jumping into from the loft, and the bales were for sitting. Laying in the large pile of hay at that moment, was none other than Brittany's eldest brother, Daniel, and one familiar young woman._

_"Alice Jardine?" she asked in a whisper, her voice disbelieving, "Is he serious? She's got to be the least attractive girl in the community." Normally, Brittany hated to be judgmental. She wasn't exactly drop dead gorgeous herself, but a girl like Alice was just what would have to be described as unfortunate. Her nose was too large, she appeared cross-eyed in the right light, and her hair was of an untamable frizzy texture._

_From her spot in the loft, Brittany watch with mild disappointment as Daniel struggled to undo Alice's bra. This brought an eyeroll from Brittany, thinking to herself that it was not all that difficult. If it were not for the special bond she shared with her brothers, she would not be up here. This struck her as a funny thought, but an honest one nonetheless. She was a girl, and generally this was not something she was supposed to see. But from the minute she was born she was destined to be one of the boys. Her four older brothers had seen to that, always needing her to keep score during their baseball games, and then eventually letting her play. The fishing trips, and the farm work. Her mother had even dressed her in Jimmy's old clothes when she had to wash her clothes. Most of the time she figured they didn't even think of her as a girl anymore. Even so, she really didn't want to stay there and watch Daniel get his last bit of action. Thankfully, Sean remedied the situation, in a very Sean-like way._

_"Danny you're a young man, don't do it!" he shouted as loud as he could from the loft. After that chaos erupted in the barn._

_The first thing Brittany was aware of was Alice screaming. Next thing she knew, she watched as the girl got up, flailing around with her shirt over her head, running straight into the wall of the barn. Brittany could only assume she had knocked herself out. The next thing she was aware of, was Danny yelling in anger as he looked up into the loft at them. Her and the other three all scrambled about, trying to make it to the ladder as fast as they could. The trouble was, one of the things on the to-do list that summer was replacing the boards that the loft had been built with. With all of their weight suddenly floundering around, it was no surprise that it collapsed beneath them. They all fell down in a cascade of hay and verbal curses, landing without injury, though rather ungracefully on a pile of hay. There was no time to be thorough on the injury check, however, as Danny turned on them, furious._

_"You guys are dead!" he shouted. Despite the situation, Brittany found herself laughing as she struggled to stand up. It took a second for her to realize that Jimmy, Sean, and Pete were laughing, too. Danny, however, was not laughing. He grabbed a nearby shovel and started running after Sean, who just laughed as he ran around the barn, dodging the swings. What made this seem even more comical was that fact that, lacking a way to revive her, Danny had grabbed Alice by the leg and was dragging her around as he swung the shovel at Sean._

_"What are you trying to hit me for?" Sean asked, still laughing, "I just did you a favor."_

_This enraged Danny even more and her swung the shovel with too much force and it propelled out of his hand, traveling all the way to the nearest wall where it hit a kerosene lantern that had been hung there. With a crashing sound the thing exploded, and they all watched, suddenly horrified as a small patch of isolated hay caught fire. All of them started shouting at once as the boys ran over to stomp on it and Brittany dashed outside to the water spigot that was outside. She hastily turned the nozzle and held a pail that always hung on the post under the flow. She ran back inside just as the boys put the flames out. Of course, her adrenaline was pumping far to fast for her to register this before she through the bucket's contents in the direction of the hay. It all landed on Danny. Her eyes widened when she realized what she had done and she hid the bucket behind her back. They all stood there for the longest time, staring at each other as though unsure of what to do next, when they heard a voice outside the barn._

_"What on earth is going on out here?" they heard their mother say. Brittany muttered a curse under her breath and quickly tossed the pail to Jimmy, running to the barn door, stepping over Alice's prostrate body as she did so. She got to the door just as her mom did, opening it a fraction and peeking her head out._

_"Hi, Mom," Brittany said brightly, smiling innocently. Her mother stood there, robe on, hands on her hips._

_"What are you doing out here?" she asked, "I thought you were sleeping. What are you all yelling about out here?" She tried to force her way into the barn, but Brittany held firm, thinking fast._

_"Mother," she said seriously, "We are having a secret meeting of the Super Secret Society, one which cannot be observed by outsiders. Now, we tried to induct you years ago but you said no, so I'm afraid I can't let you in." The Super Secret Society had been created when Brittany was five. It had really just been an excuse for them all to be in the barn without their mother's supervision. She had agreed to it, but hadn't wanted to join when they offered about six years ago, insisting that it was their thing and that she didn't want to interfere. Right now, however, her mother looked at her suspiciously. They hadn't had a SSS meeting in four years._

_"Yes, well," her mother said, "I'm am using motherly authority to overrule the secret part." She tried again to push her way into the barn, but Brittany still wouldn't budge. She looked at her mother with shining eyes._

_"Mom," she said, her voice sounding heavy, "This is the last time the five of us will be able to hold a meeting." This seemed to strike a chord with her mother, her eyes going misty as she looked at her daughter. Without a word she relented and turned to go back into the house. Brittany watched her go with regret, feeling sorry for having to resort to such a method to detour her. When she was sure her mother was gone, she closed the barn door and turned around. Her brothers were all still standing just as they had been. Danny was still dripping water. She looked at them all seriously, arms folded, but especially at Danny._

_"You owe me one," she said. He nodded his head slowly and then went about trying to wake Alice up. He looked up at her as he squatted down._

_"Wish I could take you with me, squirt," he said to her, "Might need you to get me out of trouble overseas." He tried smiling, but it faltered and he returned to his task. Brittany went and sat heavily down on a hay bale. A few seconds later she felt Jimmy sit down next to her, putting his arm around her shoulder. She sighed and leaned against him. Before either of them could say anything a loud shout of pain from behind them..._

* * *

"Ow!" Nobody even looked back when Upham uttered the feeble shout of discomfort. He probably got bit by a bug again. Brittany just looked forward, glancing left and right all the time. Her eyes lighted upon something to her left.

"Captain?" she called out. Miller looked up from his map curiously.

"Yes, Brittany?" he said.

"We're getting close aren't we?" she asked. He looked at her curiously

"How do you figure that?" Brittany nodded her head to the side of the road they'd just passed. There was a pile of German bodies there.

"I think somebody's been keeping the krauts out of their turf," she said simply.

"Alright, guys," the Captain said to them all, "Look lively, we got evidence of kraut activity.

They all glanced at the bodies as they marched by, but it was just a cursory look, and then they were moving on. Death was just part of the background, part of the scenery these days. After taking her look at the pile of stiffs, Brittany looked firmly ahead. Without Wade, Miller had jumbled up the formation slightly, telling her to stand up next to Reiben, offering him support in case they met enemy soldiers. She wasn't sure whether the Captain had any idea what had happened last night, though she doubted it. Just happy coincidence. She wanted to talk to Reiben anyway, explain her actions, but there was no way she was going to do with the other guys in earshot, and whenever they took a break to eat, he always sat with everybody. Hard as she tried, she couldn't get him alone to talk. Meanwhile, thoughts and memories of the kiss they had shared were eating away at her, making her feel terrible inside. She glanced sideways at him now as they marched, but he was staring determinedly forward, as though she wasn't there. It had been like this all day. Brittany sighed.

It was afternoon, the sun high in the sky. It had been about fifteen minutes since they passed the dead Germans. Mellish had started singing from his rear position. Brittany could barely make it out, but it sounded melancholy, and she wished he would sing something else. The song made her think of Wade, of her brothers, and of Reiben. She began to think about just how stupid she had been with the Reiben situation. After all the grief she'd been forced to endure, life had finally decided she deserved a little happiness. But at the same time she was still adamant she had done the right thing by pulling back. She hated thinking about it, hated the sinking feeling it made in her stomach. Jackson had tried to get her to believe that she should have let it happen, but she was less certain. They were in the middle of a war for Pete's sake! Besides, how did she know it wasn't just a spur of the moment thing for him? How did she know that he felt anything for her?

"Half-track, cover!" Captain Miller shouted suddenly, and Brittany had been so deep in her own thoughts that probably would have still been standing when the vehicle passed by them, but Reiben grabbed her and pulled her down as he collapsed to the ground. She nearly fell on top of him, but she landed beside him, their faces an inch away from each other. They stared at each other a moment, and then they both rolled to their stomachs, Reiben with his BAR ready, Brittany with the M-1 she had taken from the machine gun nest. They all watched as the half-track rolled slowly by them, and when it exploded in a burst of flames they all jumped.

"Whose doin' the shootin'?" Sarge demanded, as though it were one of them, "Whose doin' the shooting'?"

"Yeah," Brittany said sarcastically, "I'm sure we all carry bazookas in our pockets." Her humor was lost on everyone but Reiben. She saw a small smile twitch at his lips, but it was gone in a second, because Germans began piling off of the destroyed transport. They all got to their feet and began firing, Brittany among them. Miller shouted for them to take their left flank.

"Brittany," he shouted, "Stay here and bring our packs when its clear!" He and the guys ran off, leaving their packs to lessen the burden, to the other side of the half-track while she stayed there, glaring after them. Grumbling she crab-walked around, picking all the gear up. She vaguely heard new voices call to Captain Miller. She figured they were the ones who had fired the bazooka. Loaded down with multiple packs full of stuff, she shuffled herself around to where everyone was standing. She barely glanced at the three soldiers talking to Miller.

"You guys could have at least come back to help me," she said grumpily as she dropped everything to the ground, "I mean-"

"Brittany!" a new, yet familiar voice cut her off. Her heart stopped as Brittany looked up to see her brother standing there.

Finding her brothers had been the original reason she had come to France, and though she had eventually found a new purpose, Brittany had always held out hope that she would see them again. When she had heard of the death of her three oldest brothers, that hope had been nearly dashed. In her heart she knew that James was still alive, but a part of her was still furious with him, to the point that she almost did not want to see him. But, of course, all of that anger was lost when she saw him standing there. It would return shortly, just before they entered Ramelle, but for now she felt absolutely elated, and she ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked her, pushing her back slightly, his tone partly angry and partly concerned, a tone she recognized. Brittany smiled.

"Looking for you," she said simply. She looked back at the other guys, and the look on their faces made her smile disappear quickly. They did not look happy, and she understood why.

They had been trekking across France looking for her brother, only to stumble across him after losing to of their men. She realized she felt the same way. She had not known Caparzo, but she had known Wade, and her brother, though indirectly, had been responsible for his death. She let go of him and walked back over to the guys, trying to give them all a meaningful look, like 'I'm one of you, and I feel the same way'. She picked her pack out of the pile she had dropped, strung it back over her shoulders, grabbed her weapon and turned to the face the Captain and her brother. Everybody seemed to be looking at her.

"We should probably get going," she said, "They might send another one." Captain Miller nodded, and the group, plus three, moved out, Corporal Henderson in the lead.

The rest of the way to Ramelle, James didn't try talking to Brittany. They had always shared a unique ability to communicate with one another, and he seemed to sense that all was not well with his sister. She stayed between Reiben and Mellish, plodding along in silence. She felt better with them. She really was one of them now. Captain Miller stayed up front with Corporal Henderson, the two of them talking continuously about this and that. They arrived at Ramelle fairly quickly. Apparently Miller and his squad hadn't been very far off when they found the other three. She and the others followed closely behind the Captain as they ventured further into the ruined town. Brittany couldn't help but see a resemblance to Neuville. James broke off as they got further in, walking over to some of the other soldiers.

"So what are you guys all about?" Henderson was asking Captain Miller. Miller pointed at James as Brittany and the others settled themselves on a low wall.

"We're here for him," Miller said. James looked at him confused.

"Me, sir?" he said, pointing at himself. Miller nodded and walked James away from the other soldiers a ways. Brittany braced herself. She didn't know what to expect. She couldn't hear what they were saying from where she sat, but she could see Jimmy's face clear as day, and she knew when Captain Miller told him the news. She had to look away, not able to bare the look on his face. When he got over the initial shock, she watched as her brother looked at Miller inquisitively.

"You came all the way out here...just to tell me that?" he asked.

"Well, you're going home," Miller told him, "We have orders to bring you back." Brittany continued staring at the ground, knowing what was going to happen, but not wanting to see it. Meanwhile, Miller had left James where he was standing and was speaking to Henderson. "Corporal I don't mean to leave you even more shorthanded, but orders are orders."

"I have my orders, too, sir," James spoke up, speaking firmly but she could hear the emotion in his voice, "And they don't include abandoning my post." Miller looked at him blankly, perhaps with a touch of annoyance.

"I understand that," he said, "But this changes things."

"I don't see that it does, sir!" James replied, sounding more solid now as he stood up straight.

"The chief-of-staff of the United States Army says it does," Miller told him, not actually sounding annoyed. He turned to Corporal Henderson again, Henderson telling Miller about the importance of the bridge and why they had to hold it. Miller turned and told James again that he was coming with them.

"You got three minutes to gather your gear," he said sternly. Her brother was not giving up.

"Sir, what about them?" he exclaimed, "I mean theres barely hardly enough as there is, its-"

"Hey asshole!" Reiben suddenly shouted, cutting James off, and causing Brittany to look up, "We already lost two of our guys coming to find you, alright?" James looked first at Brittany, and she stared hard back at him. He walked over to them.

"What were their names?" he asked, still looking at Brittany.

"Irwin Wade and Adrian Caparzo," Mellish answered. James turned back around now, muttering to himself, and Brittany knew this was not going to end easily. He wasn't going anywhere. She kept her eyes on her brother now. Finally, he turned back to Captain Miller.

"It doesn't make any sense, sir," he said, "Why me? Why do I deserve to go home? Why not any of these guys? They all fought just as hard as me!" Captain Miller resumed his unreadable expression.

"Is that what they're supposed to tell your mother," he said, "when they send her another American flag?" Brittany could have sighed, but she kept her silence. That wasn't going to work. Not on Jimmy, and she was right.

"Tell her," he began, "Tell her, that when you found me, I was with the only brothers that I have left. I think she'll understand that, sir." And with that he walked away, over to where his buddies were. Brittany watched him sit down heavily, the other guys comforting him now. She felt terrible that she wasn't over there, but it wasn't time for that yet. There were still wounds that needed to heal between them. Captain Miller and Sergeant Horvath walked off, leaving the rest of the squad there on the bridge. Reiben rounded on her.

"What the hell did you say to him?" he asked her harshly. She looked at him confused. "Don't give me that look. I got brothers, too. I know about communicating by just looking. What did you tell him?" She looked at him blankly, and then stood up, standing directly in front of him and staring up into his face.

"I told him to make his own decision," Brittany said firmly, "I told him not to let me sway his choice to go or stay, and I'd do it again." She looked around at all of them, her eyes pleading. "I understand you guys are angry, that you just wanted to finish this mission and go home, but look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't have chosen to stay with your buddies if you were in Jimmy's shoes." All of them turned their faces down now, not wanting to meet her gaze anymore, and she knew she had stuck a cord. She looked back at Reiben, who was still staring right at her. "Now, I don't know what the Captain is going to decide, but I'm staying, and not just because of my brother, but because its my duty as a soldier to help win this war. If this helps then...I'm staying." She stared at Reiben a few moments longer, and then she walked past them. She just sort of wandered away, sitting down on a piece of rubble and burying her hands in her face. What was she getting herself into now?

As it turned out, Captain Miller and Sergeant Horvath had made the decision to stay and help her brother and the other soldiers defend the bridge. The half-track from earlier meant that more Germans, not to mention their tanks, were on their way. As the group of them walked through the city, they started planning their defense. Henderson and the others were less certain than Miller was that it was possible to defend the bridge, but as the Captain kept talking, Brittany began to see the logic in his ideas. It could work as long as they made no mistakes. The sticky bombs were key, and she couldn't help but marvel at Miller's intelligence on that one. A sticky bomb. She'd never even seen one of those in use.

The rest of the day was spent making what preparations they could. The biggest thing that needed to be done was make the "sticky bombs". This was down by filling a sock full of explosives, in this case Composition B, coat it with axel grease, and then wire it with a simple fuse. Elsewhere in the town soldiers were wiring mines, and setting up machine gun positions to be monitored into the night. Brittany busied herself with the stuffing of the socks, hurrying them along the assembly line that had been set up. Reiben came up and sat down, griping about have to give up his socks as he unlaced his boots. She grinned a little to herself. Everything was going alright until Captain Miller strolled through to check on things, James tailing behind him.

"What are we doing about Brittany?" she heard Jimmy ask. Brittany looked up from what she was doing, as did Reiben. Miller looked somewhat confused by the wording of the question.

"Well," he began slowly, "She'll be with you and me for the most part, running along trying to stop the infantry men, but if we get separated for any reason she'll stay as close to Reiben as possible." Jimmy shook his head vehemently.

"No," he said, "I meant how are we getting her out of here?" Before the Captain even had a chance to respond, Brittany stood up, shoving her sock into Reiben's hands, and stomping over to her brother.

"I'm not going anywhere!" she shouted at him. James turned around, startled.

"Brittany," he said firmly, placing his hands on her shoulders, "I'm trying to protect you." With a scowl, Brittany shoved his hands off roughly.

"Protect me!" she said, practically screaming at him now, "I've been in France for _months_, Jimmy. I didn't just happen to appear right as Captain Miller and his men found you! I was in Neuville when they found me!" She saw his eyes widen when she said that. "I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm a soldier, and I'm staying. After that little speech earlier about staying with the men, I can't believe you're even thinking of telling me to leave!" To her left she could just see Reiben, Mellish, Jackson, and Upham standing there watching the two siblings spar. Jimmy wasn't giving up.

"Its too dangerous!" he shouted at her, sounding quite angry now, "I'm your big brother and I'm telling you, you have to leave!" Brittany felt pure and utter fury boil up inside her as she stared at him with flaming eyes. Then she exploded.

"Don't you _dare_ talk to me like that!" she shrieked, shoving him hard in the chest, "You gave up the right to tell me what to do when you LEFT ME!" She was on a complete rampage now, not thinking clearly anymore. "You just abandoned me, Jimmy! What kind of brother does that? At least Danny, Sean, and Pete _said_ something before they left. I just woke up one morning and you were gone! So don't you think for a second that I'm going to let you order me around like that! Not anymore! I am staying, and I am going to fight alongside my friends and thats final!" She turned and stalked off, shouldering her way past Reiben and the other guys.

As she walked away, Brittany began to feel an overwhelming upsurge of emotion. Tears were welling in her eyes, creating deep pools. She blinked and felt warm tears cascading down her cheeks. She wiped at them as she started staggering, emotion beginning to build up in her chest. She wasn't sure what was happening until she felt to her knees, tears falling free and fast, sobs billowing out of throat. It took her a moment to realize that she was finally crying for her brothers. Something had triggered when she was fighting with Jimmy and now she was finally able to cry for her brothers. From behind her she felt hands on her back and shoulders.

"Take it easy," she heard a gentle voice say, and she recognized it as Reiben. He half-lifted her and she buried her face in his chest. He wasn't the only one there though. She felt more hands on her back as Jackson, Mellish, and even Upham squatted down next to her. If she could have vocalized how much it meant to her to have them there she would have, but as it was all she could do was cry.

"Just let it out," Reiben said to her.

"They're gone," she wailed, her voice muffled against Reiben's shirt, "They're gone." She stayed like that for a good half an hour, just clinging to Reiben, surrounded by the men she cared about. When she finally calmed down, she stood up, wiped her eyes, and walked quietly away. She needed to think alone for a little while.

Later that night Brittany sat in a quiet corner of one the of more intact building that most of the soldiers slept in. She sat smoking a cigarette, quietly watching people walk around. She couldn't sleep, as usual, but it didn't seem as though anyone else could either. Lanterns were hung in strategic places where they could not be seen very clearly from the outside, which cast a warm glow over the environment, something she had sorely missed. Again she was reminded of Neuville, and the lamps they had hung in the church. She wondered vaguely if reinforcements had ever made it to Captain Hamill and the other guys. She hoped so.

"Hey," she heard a voice, say and she looked up to see her brother. She smiled at him, and nodded her head at the floor next to her. He sat down. She offered him a cigarette out of her pack. He looked at her strangely.

"Oh, don't give me that look," she said, smiling a little wider, "I probably would have started smoking even if I hadn't gotten over here. But since I did, it would have been futile to try and resist, something I'm sure you know. Now take a damn cigarette." Jimmy smiled, and in that smile she saw the brother she knew and loved. He took a cigarette and she lit it for him. There was a silence between them, but there was no longer any tension. That had all gone away when she had exploded earlier.

"I'm sorry," Jimmy finally said. Brittany shook her head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," she said, looking at him with kind eyes, "You were just trying to protect me, like any brother would." Now he shook his head.

"No, I meant I'm sorry for abandoning you back home like I did." Brittany looked meaningfully at him.

"So was I." She smiled at him, and he smiled back. With a heavy sigh she leaned her head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around her. It felt so nice, so comfortable, just like old times. Another silence descended over the two of them.

"So..." Jimmy said slowly after a while, and Brittany looked up at him curiously, "Reiben seems like a nice guy." She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Whats that supposed to mean?" she asked dubiously. Jimmy shrugged, but he had a small smile on his face, one she recognized.

"I was just curious," he said innocently, "I mean, he ran after you pretty fast when...well, earlier. He got there way ahead of the other guys. I mean my buddies care about me too, but they're not about to _run_ after me when I'm upset." Brittany quickly sat up straight again, arms folded. She looked at her brother with a frown.

"James Ryan," she said sternly, "This is not exactly the time to be asking things like that." He held his hands up in surrender, but he still had that damn grin on his face. That grin that said 'Deny it if you want...', and she hated it. She felt like they were both kids again instead of soldiers in the middle of a war. She stood up, looking down at him. "I'm going go stretch my legs a bit, and _you_ are going to not ask me about stupid stuff like Reiben." Jimmy just kept smiling.

"Sure thing, Britt," he said. She grumbled under her breath as she walked off.

First task was to check on Mellish and Jackson who were part of the watch shift. Making sure they had enough ammunition and the like, Brittany walked back into the building, avoiding the side that Jimmy was on. She couldn't believe that he had asked her something like that. It had barely been five hours since she had stopped hating him and he was already annoying her again. Had to be some kind of record. What bugged as that he had practically hit the nail on the head. Even having lived with their spooky ability to sometimes read each other's minds, she still didn't like it when he used it on her. It made her feel like she couldn't keep anything secret anymore. It wasn't any surprise that while she was thinking she tripped over someone's legs. She fell forward, putting her arms out to brace herself.

"Ouch," she mumbled as she pushed herself up.

"Christ, are you okay?" a concerned voice said to her. Brittany looked up and saw Reiben. She sighed. _Figures_, she thought. Of all the sleeping soldiers she could trip over right now. In spite of herself she smiled as she sat all the way up.

"Yeah," she said, "I'm fine. Did I wake you?" Reiben waved his hand.

"Nah," he said, "I wasn't really sleeping. I was going over tomorrow." Brittany crawled over and sat down next to him, nodding her head.

"I know what you mean," she said, sighing again, "I'm not sure if I can handle what we're planning on doing. I wasn't trained for combat, I was trained as a field nurse. I was supposed to just stay behind and do my part to get anyone injured home safely. I can shoot accurately enough, but...I don't know if I can handle a real combat situation." She glanced sideways at Reiben, slightly embarrassed for having said all of that. It had been building up all night, but it was not something she was going to talk to Jimmy about. Not after what had happened earlier. Reiben just looked at her with an expression she could only describe as mild disbelief.

"You must have hit your head when you fell," he said, shaking his head and stretching his arms, "I mean you're kidding right? After what you did back at the machine gun nest, you're going to sit there saying you don't think you can handle it?" He shook his head some more, then looked at her pointedly. "You're crazy."

"That was nothing," Brittany started to say, talking about the machine gun nest. Reiben cut her off.

"Oh, yeah, because saving my life is such a small thing," he said sarcastically, and he was almost sounding irritated with her now, "What you need to do is stop doubting yourself. You're going to get yourself killed if you keep it up." Then he seemed to think about what he was doing and drew himself back in, sighing and shaking his head in a more diminished fashion. "But, hey, you don't need to listen to me." There was a silence, and just before Brittany started to say something, Reiben started talking again.

"Why'd you pull away last night?" he asked suddenly, catching her off guard, "I mean, I know we've known each other like two days, but it seemed like you liked me, and I like you, I just don't get what the problem was. You even kissed back for a few seconds and then the next thing I know you're spouting about it not being appropriate. I'll tell you whats not appropriate is a woman in the middle of a war, but here you are so I don't understand why-" He stopped his fast, frantic spiel as Brittany leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. It was the only thing she could think to do to get him to shut up. In truth she wanted to give him a real kiss, but there were too many other soldiers in the building, and she just had a feeling Jimmy was somewhere nearby watching them. Instead she just placed a hand on his face so he'd look at her, which he was doing anyway, struck speechless it seemed.

"I was given a direct order," she told him calmly, "I was told not to fraternize with _any_ soldier I came across, no matter what. General Boeing told me, as did Captain Hamill. Thats why I pulled back. Sure, part of me just wasn't sure if it was real, and not just a jumble of emotions from yesterday." She smiled at him, looking directly into his eyes. "But the second I felt your arms around me earlier to comfort me I knew it wasn't just something we both did spur of the moment." She watched a smile slowly spread itself across his face. Then rested her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes. She actually felt a little tired, but not by much. "Now, we've been talking about a lot about me for the past day and a half. Lets talk about you for a change." She folded her arms to maker herself warmer and listened as he started talking about his home in Brooklyn. As she managed to doze off, Brittany felt better than she had felt in a long time.

--

Waking up the next morning, Brittany actually felt groggy, like she had actually slept. Someone had been nudging her shoulder repeatedly, otherwise it was possible she'd still be sleeping. As she tried sitting up, she felt a limp arm around her, and with a glance beside her she realized that she had spent the entire night curled up next to Reiben. Oh what a sight the two must have been for everyone else. She sighed, knowing there was no use complaining about it, and then finally looked up at who had woken her up. It was Jackson.

"Well that took long enough," he said with a smile, "You were really out cold." Brittany knew by his expression that he was holding back remarks about the fact that she had been sleeping next to Reiben, but she was too tired to be bothered by it.

"What did you want?" she asked, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"The Captain wants to see you, and he wants Reiben to help organize everyone. He says we all need to get ready as soon as possible." This last part woke Brittany up completely. Her eyes widened and she quickly turned her head to one of the gaping holes in the building where the soldiers went in an out, and she saw morning light spread across the stone floor. She swiftly started getting up, nudging Reiben as she did so.

"Reiben, wake up," she said urgently.

"Five more minutes," he mumbled, using his arm to try and pull her back down. Brittany sighed and then smacked him not-too-hard on his head. He woke up real fast after that. "Ow! What the hell was that for?" She told him what Jackson had told her, and the two of them stood up. Despite what she would have thought, nothing felt awkward as they both grabbed their weapons and walked out of the building with Jackson. They were soldiers now, and they would act like it. But even so, they exchanged a small smile as they stepped out into the ruined city, Jackson and Reiben heading in the direction of the bell tower, Brittany to the bridge where Captain Miller was.

"Don't worry," she said when Reiben looked at her questioningly, "I'll find you when I'm done talking with the Captain. Keep an eye on Upham." As much as she had doubted her own abilities to tolerate combat, she was downright concerned about how the naivety that Upham possessed would affect him.

Sure enough, Captain Miller was standing at the end of the bridge that had been nicknamed "Alamo", sitting on the wall and drinking from his canteen. The early morning silhouetted him from behind, and he looked utterly calm as Brittany approached. That is, except for his hand, which was shaking. She knew better than to ask about it, and simply walked up to sit beside him. She didn't want disturb him, as he appeared to be deep in thought. She had no idea why he would ask to see her of all people today, but after a few moments he spoke to her.

"You think we stand a chance today?" he asked her, not looking at her, but continuing to stare straight ahead as he took another drink from his canteen. Brittany looked at him, quite puzzled by the question, but she knew better than not to answer. She thought about it a moment.

"Honestly," she said carefully, nodding her head, "I'm not sure. As long as we don't run out of ammo, we can keep everyone moving, and we get damn lucky, then yeah we stand a chance. Our biggest advantage is going to be stopping those tanks, but even then taking care of all the infantry is going to be less than easy. But, regardless of the outcome, we made the right decision by staying. _You _made the right decision by staying." She glanced sideways at Miller meaningfully. No commander could ever take the place of General Boeing or Captain Hamill for Brittany, but Miller had come very close. She knew there were not many men who would have allowed a woman to travel with them. A silence fell between them, but Brittany didn't leave yet.

"So," he said after a while, still not moving his gaze in her direction, "You and Reiben looked comfortable last night." Brittany watched him take another drink from his canteen, frowning. She could hear humor in his voice, but she could not see it on his face. The man was so unreadable at times it was frightening. "We're supposed to punish soldiers for fraternizing." There was nothing accusatory in his voice, he was almost speaking conversationally when he said this, leaving Brittany totally baffled, but feeling somewhat shameful.

"Am I still one of the guys, sir?" she asked calmly. Now he did look at her, and so suddenly that it made her jump. One second he was still staring ahead, the next his head was turned to her. She still couldn't read his expression.

"No," he said without hesitation, "I don't think you ever were. You are, however, a soldier, and the rule states that fraternization with the enemy and civilians is what we're supposed to punish, so I guess according the rules I _can't_ punish you two." He smiled a little at her, his eyes twinkling with an almost mischievous glint, and Brittany smiled back. "Now, its been a long time since I was in front of an English class, so I might not have this exactly right, just bare with me. I believe the definition that I believe best describes a soldier is 'a skilled warrior'. You may not be the military's definition of a soldier, but you are the _true_ definition of one. It has been my pleasure to have met you." Brittany realized with an overwhelming sense of humility, that this was why Captain Miller had wanted to see her this morning. To tell her that. She casted her gaze down to the ground in an almost bashful way. She stood on, pushing her helmet onto her head and picking up her M-1 which she had been holding in her lap.

"No, Captain," she said softly, "Its been my pleasure to fight alongside you and your men." And with that their conversation was at an end. The last they would ever have with each other. Brittany smiled a little at him before walking away, her boots crunching as she walked over pieces of exploded concrete. She found Reiben and the others, minus Jackson whom she assumed was up in the bell tower by now, sitting on the steps of a ruined building, smoking nonchalantly.

"There she is," said Sergeant Horvath brightly as she walked up and to a seat on the step above him, "So when are you going to cuddle up with me?" Brittany looked at him incredulously and then looked at Reiben.

"Don't look at me," he said plainly, holding up his hands, "They've been going on about it all morning." Brittany detected a hint of irritatibility, so she didn't doubt him. She looked back at Horvath.

"Sorry, Sarge," she told him with mock sympathy, "You're not my type." All of the guys, even Sarge, laughed at that. "So is everything ready?" Reiben answered her.

"Yeah," he said, sounding serious, "Jackson is in the bell tower with Parker, and Upham'll be distributing the ammo, while the rest of us run around like chickens with their heads cut off." Britany looked at him, brows raised.

"Well, gosh Reiben," she said, "Don't sound too happy now." She had never seen Reiben this sour, but she supposed the ridicule from the other guys had taken its toll on him. She wished to comfort him, but the presence of the other guys made her uneasy, even though they appeared to know and accept whatever there was between Reiben and herself. So she just nudged his arm gently with the back of her hand. A minimal gesture, but one that he returned with a smile.

The next few hours went by slowly, and Brittany spent most of it lying on her back the topmost stone step of the building, her head resting against Reiben's thigh, arm draped lazily over her eyes. As much as she would have liked for them all to not have to participate in a battle, waiting for the enemy to arrive was driving her crazy. The only thing that she could do was lay there and listen to the guys idly chat. It was mostly just general talk about the people they knew back home and the things they did. Reiben told a rather colorful story about an encounter he had with his super intendant's wife the day before he left for basic training that had Brittany rolling her eyes.

"Hey, Brittany," she heard Mellish say, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yes," she answered without removing her arm from over her eyes.

"How exactly did you get to France in the first place?" Brittany took a deep breath and slid her arm off of her face, blinking her eyes against the sunlight.

"Well," she began, "When my dog was killed that was pretty much the last straw. I knew I had to find a way to get over here or else I was going to go crazy. What I told myself was that I wanted to find them, so I could at least see them, but I think I just felt like it was my duty to follow them. I'd followed them all my life, and then suddenly they were gone and I was totally lost." She shook her head slightly. "But you asked how I got here. I went to several different recruiting centers in the area, and most of them just laughed or thought I was crazy and kicked me out. The last one I went to looked like it was going to be the same thing, the guy at the front desk was a jerk like the rest, and then General Boeing spoke up. He shut the guy up real quick, and then he asked me a few questions, like why I wanted to go to France. I still don't know _why_ he did it, but I guess he saw something in me that said I could handle it. So, for the next few weeks I trained with a medical instructor every morning, and did weapon training with the General every afternoon. It was quick and dirty but I guess it got the job done. Next thing I knew, I was on a boat on my way to another country." She stopped. There was not much more to the story than that. Brittany realized just how long ago all of that seemed. It felt like a lifetime, but had really only been about five months. Unbelievable.

"I still can't believe anyone let you over here," Mellish said, shaking his head in disbelief. Brittany sat slowly up, turning to look at him with a frowning face.

"Why?" she asked, maybe a little harshly, "Because I'm a girl." Mellish looked at her in a frightened way, but she didn't let him apologize. "Let me tell you something. Women are no more weak than you are. Most of them have just been brainwashed into thinking that all they're meant to do is clean their house, and make babies. I got lucky. I grew up with four older brothers and a mother whose a forward-thinker, so I was taught to think differently than that, but that doesn't mean I'm the only girl who could be here right now. I just had the conviction to do it, and I got lucky." Brittany knew she was probably overreacting, but after five months of soldiers looking at her with varying degrees of awe, respect, and disgust, she had grown tired of being discriminated against for being a girl. Still, she felt a little bad that she had snapped at Mellish.

"I'm sorry," Mellish muttered, looking very embarrassed and ashamed of himself.

"Its OK," she told him, her voice softened, "I didn't meant to attack you like that. One thing about growing up with four older brothers is you sometimes go _looking_ for a fight." This got chuckles from everyone but Reiben, and Brittany turned to look at him, realizing for the first time that he had been quiet for several moments now. A rare feat. She found him looking at her with an expression she could only describe as respectful fascination, as though she were something he had just realized was wildly interesting. She looked at him with both brows raised.

"You alright?" she asked him. The answer was the last thing she expected.

"Would you marry me?" he said. Brittany blinked her eyes a few times, staring at him like he was some sort of strange being.

"What?" she replied, shocked and confused. Reiben shrugged casually, as though he felt his question was a perfectly normal one.

"If we make it through today alive would you marry me?" he said again, "I believe its a yes or no question." Brittany could only continue looking at him, feeling very puzzled and disoriented. She couldn't even bring herself to look at any of the other guys, but wondering if they were wearing similar expressions on their faces. Meanwhile, Reiben just continued to look at her expectantly, his casual look perplexing her all the more. All at once she realized that he was not joking, that he had really just asked her to marry him, and that she was now supposed to answer him. This was all so crazy.

"Sure, why not?" she finally said, her mind still trying to comprehend what had happened, "We're probably not going to live past today anyway." This seemed to break the stagnant mood that had fallen over everyone, and they all laughed. Reiben, chuckled, but looked quite pleased with himself. Brittany shook her head, still mildly confused and laid back down on the stone step, her head resting against his leg. She glanced over at Sarge. "Does he do this often?" Sarge grinned.

"Oh, yeah," he said sarcastically, "Reiben pops the question at least four times a month."

"Sometimes five," Mellish piped up. Brittany smiled and laughed a little.

The rest of time the was spent much as it had been before. They all chatted casually with each other, but the conversation slowly tapered off into an almost peaceful silence. A record player had been set up hours ago, playing the music of a French singer. The music floated through Ramelle, and Brittany found herself captivated by the words she couldn't understand. They sounded sad, but at the same time they sounded uplifting, like no matter how bad things are you can't give up living. Life was a precious thing, and something that Brittany had taken for granted before the war. Now she had lost her dog, three of her brothers, and Wade who had been her first friend in a very long time. She had seen death many times, and each time her appreciation for being alive grew.

The sound of an approaching tank brought everyone slowly to their feet. Nothing was said as Brittany and the guys stood and grabbed their weapons. Brittany saw Upham's hands shake as he picked up his gun, but there was very little she could do about it now anyway. As a group they walked slowly over the rubbled ground towards Captain Miller, who was communicating with Jackson using sign language. The report didn't sound good. Jackson could see multiple tanks and over fifty infantrymen. Brittany's grip on her M-1 tightened. It was show time.


	8. Miracles Happen

Disclaimer: After all the work I've put into this you'd think they'd just LET me own Saving Private Ryan...Oh, well, win some lose some I guess ;)

Note: Holy crap...I'm done O.o This is weird. This is only the second fic I've ever been able to finish since I started writing them. OK well just a few things before I let you guys read (and review) this final chapter.

First, I ended this chapter a lot sooner that it was originally. I had a lot of extra stuff planned. However, I decided that this story needed to end one the kind of note that it has now. For those of you who are interested, I am writing an Epilogue of sorts which will be completed soon-ish. This is going to be small to medium chunks of events happening between the end of this chapter and at some point in their future lives. I'm toying with the idea of ending the Epilogue with them at the graveyard, like in the movie, but we'll see.

Secondly, I want to thank everyone who has reviewed this story. You guys are awesome, and I hope I don't disappoint you with this chapter :) The Jackson thing (and you're all just going to have to read to find out what that is, hehe) IS a bit of a stretch, I can admit that, but I like it. Oh, and Bobadoo mentioned in a review of the last chapter that I managed to make the huge blunder of placing Brittany in France months before the invasion actually happened. I don't know HOW I managed to do this, I feel like an idiot, but with this being the final chapter, not much to be done about it :) So, I guess thats it. Be sure to review when you're done reading, and I hope you enjoy.

Oh! And how much am I loving the fact that this is Chapter EIGHT, the same number as the original roster for Miller's squad :P lol

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Miracles Happen**

_Waking up in the morning, Brittany Ryan couldn't remember her dream from last night. She could remember that it had been horrible, had scared the living daylights out of her, but she couldn't remember what it had been about. She sat up in her bed, blinking sluggishly as she peered around her room, as though looking for a clue that might help. Of course, she found none. She stretched her lithe arms above her head and yawned, running her fingers absently through her touseled mess of hair. Pushing her blanket off of her body she swung her legs around the edge of the bed, pausing for a moment to gaze fondly at the picture on her nightstand. It showed her on the back of her brother, Jimmy, arms wrapped around his neck. They both had huge grins on her face. After smiling at the photo for a moment, she got up, changing into some clothes before exiting her room._

_"Jimmy!" she called as she entered the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water, "Jimmy, hurry up, we're going to be late for the show." Her brother had promised her he'd take her to a movie the other day. Brittany wasn't all that in to the movies that everyone found so fascinating, but it was time with her brother, time she knew would be running out soon. However, it appeared as though he had forgotten and was still asleep._

_Rolling her eyes, Brittany walked down the hallways to the boys' room, one which Jimmy now shared by himself, deftly braiding her brown hair as she went. She didn't even bother knocking, but instead turned the doorknob and walked into the room. It looked just as messy as her brother's had left it. The two bunk beds, which they had still used as grown men, were in disarray. Her mother had not had the heart to make their beds since they left, and Jimmy definitely wasn't going to do it. But Brittany was not worried about the messy state of the room. What perturbed her was the fact that Jimmy was nowhere to be seen. She frowned, turning her head this way and that trying to locate him. He didn't appear to be in the room. So then where was he? Perhaps he had gone outside to do his chores before they went to the movies. She smiled as she realized how logical that sounded. _

_Outside, Brittany was so engrossed in the mission of finding her brother, that she didn't notice when Charlie, her ever-loyal canine, didn't come running up to greet her like he did whenever she came out of the house. If she had bothered to look she would have seen him lying in his doghouse looking very forlorn. Instead, she walked quickly across the yard, beelining for the barn, where she was sure she would find Jimmy fixing the part of the loft that had caved in that night they had spied on Danny. It had been on his to-do list for weeks. She pushed the door open, peering into the dimly lit structure. A light smile spread across her face, since she was certain she would see her brother up in the loft. When she didn't immediately see any movement, she didn't let that cause her to falter. Instead she climbed the sturdy ladder that led to the upper levels of the barn. _

_"Jimmy?" she called softly as she crawled into the layer of hay that coated the loft, but she already knew he wasn't going to answer her. Because he wasn't there, and slowly her heart began to sink. The sensation of dread grew worse when she saw and envelope sitting amongst the hay, the words 'For Britt' scrawled across the paper in her brother's clumsy handwriting. Brittany reached for it with a shaking hand, picking it up and half-expected it to burn her skin. She knew what it was, and she wasn't sure she wanted to make it any more real. But, of course, she opened the envelope and pulled out the letter that was in it._

Brittany -

I really wish there was an easy way to do this. Believe me, I tried to pluck up the courage to talk to you about this, but I guess I'm too much of a coward. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so, sorry. I know you knew this was coming, but I still wanted to be able to tell you I was leaving. Danny, Sean, and Pete have gone to do their duty, now I have to go, too. I followed the rules. I didn't leave when they did, but I can't stay forever. Please don't be too mad at me. I'm leaving this in the barn because I have a feeling you're going to be loud. I love you, and I'll write.

Your big brother, Jimmy

PS Sorry about the movie thing...

_When she finished reading the letter, Brittany sat there for a few long moments just staring at the page without really seeing it. Something worked inside of her, making it feel as though she were burning from the inside out. She shut her eyes tight, scrunching the paper in her hand so firmly it hurt, her nails digging into her palm. She tried to remind herself how to breathe as she sat in her family's barn. Her mind was trying to organize itself, having been sent into a whirlwind by the letter. Part of her knew she was being mildly childish, but the rest of her didn't care. She couldn't believe this was happening. She couldn't believe that he had done this. Why would he do this?_

_Over the past three months, all of her brothers had left to join the army. This had saddened Brittany greatly, but they had made a deal that they would not all leave at once. This was mostly for their mother's benefit, and Brittany had made sure the boys held true to the bargain. At first, she hadn't felt totally devastated. She was sad to see them go, of course, but they had talked to her about it, told her why they wanted to go, what it meant to them, and she had understood. She had been able to let Danny, Sean, and Pete go without much of a fuss. Jimmy, was a different case entirely. He had NOT talked her, had NOT tried to talk to her, and she had hoped that this meant he wasn't planning on going. But, of course, she should have known he wouldn't have let their brothers go and not go himself. But this was just too much. He had just left, disappeared. He had even lied about taking her to the movies today._

_Sitting there in the loft, Brittany reached a hand up to wipe the tears that were flowing down her face. She had neve felt anything like this, had never known this kind of anguish existed. Jimmy had practically abandoned her, not even bothering to let her know that he was leaving. Perhaps this would have been exceptable from one of the others, but not from him. He was her other hald, her best friend, and now he was gone, probably never to return. At least she had been able to say goodbye to her older brothers, but she had still thought she had a few more weeks with Jimmy. Unwillingly, she gave in to her despair and curled up in the hay, sobbing loudly into her arms. Outside, she heard Charlie barking sadly along with her._

_After about twenty minutes, Brittany finally sat up, her face streaked with tears, bits of hay clinging to the wet spots. She had cried as much as she could, and now her head was clear enough to think. Her brothers were gone, all of them, and that was okay. She would miss them all greatly. Except for Jimmy. He had done exactly what he had always promised he would never do. He had abandoned her, and now she felt no loyalty towards him whatsoever. In the back of her mind, a tiny part of her was telling her that she was being totally silly, that she couldn't just erase Jimmy from her life, but she silenced it. She just could not forgive him that easily. Of course, at that moment, she heard her mother's voice calling for her, and she hastily wiped her face clean, doing her best to straighten her now tangles braid._

_"I'm in here, Mom!" she called in a voice that was clearer than she had hoped for. It seemed she was already coming to terms with her decision. Seemed odd how easy it was._

_"Brittany, dear," she heard her mother's voice say as she stepped through the open barn door, "Are you alright?" Brittany peered over the edge of the loft, gazing down into her mother's anxious face. Clutched in one hand, her mother had a piece of paper, and Brittany knew that it was much the same as the one she had gotten earlier. She smiled down at her mother, again surprised at how easy the gesture was._

_"Yeah, Mom," she said calmly, "I'm-_

* * *

"Alright," Captain Miller said, looking at the soldiers around him, "You know your positions. Reiben, on the rabbit!"

Things hadn't even really gotten started and Brittany felt like things were happening far to fast. She watched with a sinking heart as Reiben started jogging over to the small vehicle they were using to bait the Germans. He was going to be riding in the back with his BAR while another guy drove. The fact that he had proposed to her that morning was still registering in her brand, but regardless she realized that she was afraid that he wouldn't come back. She knew that she had to make a decision, and she made to make it in less than a second.

"Reiben!" she shouted, stepping forward quickly from her spot next to Captain Miller.

Reiben stopped in his tracks and turned around, looking at her curiously. She didn't even hesitate as she walked up to him and kissed him in front of everyone. It was like their first one, only better because she wasn't suddenly gripped by an overwhelming sense to pull back. She did pull back though, after several wonderful moments, knowing that time was of the essence in this situation, looking into his eyes. She muttered to him, "Just in case." Then she let him go giving him a little shove, turning around and walking back to stand next to Miller, who was looking at her with one eyebrow raised and a hint of a smile. She could feel Jimmy looking at her, but she solidly refused to look at him. She watched as Reiben was driven away, telling herself that he would be back.

"Mellish you owe me ten bucks!" Brittany shouted, looking over at Mellish. He looked thoroughly confused, but then seemed to understand and nodded his understanding, adding some comment she didn't catch to add to the reality of things. She had decided it was best to at least make as many of the other guys as possible think that was all a bet, and she also felt it necessary for her own sanity. Part of her did not want to relinquish the idea that she was one of the guys, no matter what Captain Miller said. If she let go of that now, she wasn't sure if she could make it through the day.

They all dispersed, Brittany crawling into a ditch in the rubble, setting her M-1 up on the top of the ridge, her eyes staring straight forward. She was in between Miller and her brother. Thankfully, Jimmy had seemed to let go of any curiosity he might have had for the time being. She really did not want to have to explain things to him right now. This really wouldn't have been the best time for a sibling feud. It quickly turned into another waiting game, all of them holding their breaths as they waited for what would come next. Brittany was vaguely aware that her grip on her gun had become a little too tight, and loosened it a bit.

The sudden sound of distant gunshots caused Brittany's heart to jump, and she had to close her eyes momentarily to regain control of herself. Minutes dragged by that were actually seconds, and the dreadful thought that Reiben was not coming back crept into her mind. She tried to keep it at bay, letting herself be absorbed in the task of keeping her gun steady, and breathing slowly. This worked, and when she saw the "rabbit" come jostling around the corner, Reiben perched on the back, she was able to contain her relief to a small smile. She watched as he jumped off the vehicle and jogged over to slide into the ditch between her and Jimmy. She resisted the urge to do something like brush her foot against his leg, instead focusing all of her attention on what was about to unfold.

Slowly, the sound of tanks grew louder, and Brittany thought she could feel everyone tense. She happened to glance next to her just as Reiben and her brother exchanged a look. She knew better than to make a comment right then, but inside she was glad. She knew that the two had not been on the best terms yesterday, considering Reiben didn't like her brother for causing them to trek across the country in the first place. But the thought left her mind quickly as she felt the ground vibrate slightly beneath her. She watched with baited breath as the first tank came into sight...and passed them by. She had to resist the urge to looked at Captain Miller with an alarmed expression. Instead she still just continued to focus on what she was doing. The next tank took the bait, and it slowly turned down the street.

Just as it was getting near them, infantry following behind them, the mines they had laid out on either side of the rode blew, sending the German soldiers flying. Immediately Brittany heard the sound of the machine gun in the bell tower as Jackson and Parker began firing down on the enemy, as Mellish and Corporal Henderson did the same on the ground. The tank kept coming, rolling its way down the street. Brittany had begun firing her M-1 along with the Captain, Reiben, her brother, and everyone else. When the tank approached them Miller called for a halt as two other soldiers lit their sticky bombs and stuck them to the tank's tracks. They all ducked as the bombs exploded, immobilizing the tank. Thats when the real fun started.

Quickly, Miller, Brittany, and Reiben ran up with another group towards the tank. The Captain ordered Jimmy to stay put, something Brittany didn't notice. If she had, she probably would have said something about it. But there was no time for thinking about how over protective Miller was being over her brother. Instead she could only think about clearing the tank. That was, until the turret started turning, and when she followed its direction her eyes grew wide with horror. She tried to scream for Jimmy to move, but her throat had closed up on her, and she was helpless. She knew she would be too late if she tried running for him, but just as she was preparing to watch her brother die, Reiben darted forward, grabbing James by the collar of his shirt and dragged him out of harm's way. Brittany took a moment to fire a few shots into the tank, some sort of vengeance, before running with Miller to where Reiben had her brother pinned to the ground.

"Ryan!" she heard Miller shout as they approached, "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, too, Captain," Reiben said sarcastically, "Thanks for asking." Brittany heard this and grinned.

"Reiben, are you okay?" she asked with total sincerity. Reiben grinned boyishly at her, and she had to work to keep her composure a little.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he told her, letting Jimmy up. Her brother glared at him as he sat up and brushed himself off, but Brittany could tell that he also looked quite grateful.

Of course, the moment was lost as a twenty milimeter flak gun opened fire on the soldiers who were still up on the tank. Brittany and the other three all jumped and immediately got back to work. They all huddled down into the valley of rubble they had found themselves in, watching as the gun annihilated much of their forces. Brittany wondered briefly why Jackson hadn't taken it out, and then decided that he probably didn't have a clear shot. She had no idea how they were supposed to take that thing out, and until they did they were stuck. She looked from her brother, to Reiben, and finally she looked at Captain Miller. He appeared to be deep in thought.

"We need to take that gun out," he said, and Brittany resisted to urge to be sarcastic. This was definitely not the time. Reiben looked very serious.

"Let me try to get it with a top shot," he said, rolling over to the edge of their valley of cover. Brittany glanced beside her and grabbed Reiben's arm before he could get up and run across the open space, which she knew was what he meant to do. He looked at her. "This is really not a good time for another kiss." She glared at him.

"Here," she said, shoving his helmet at him, which he had left on the ground. He looked at it in surprise for a moment, then took it and flipped it onto his head. He smiled at her.

"Thanks, sweetie," he said before he got up and dashed across the street, firing his BAR as he went. Brittany watched him take cover behind part of a destroyed building. She was shaking her head when she turned her head to find Jimmy staring at her.

"What the hell was up with that?" he asked, not really sounding angry, just baffled. At first she had no idea what he was talking about, but then she understood, and realized just how much she did not want to have this conversation right now. But, she could also see that there was no avoiding it now. What was the worst he could do right now anyway?

"He proposed to me earlier," she said, letting it all out in what she hoped was casual tone, and then added, "Well, it was more like a bet. The stipulation was that we had to survive today. Apparently he believes we are. Bit arrogant when you think about it." She watch closely as Jimmy's face changed from puzzlement to shock. However, before he could say anything, Captain Miller interrupted them.

"Brittany!" he shouted, causing them both to jump and look at him, "I want you to follow Reiben and give him cover so he can take the gun out. Go!" She was up and across the street before he or Jimmy could say anothing word, reacting mostly on her instinct to follow orders. It didn't hurt that now she could wait to hear her brother's reaction to what she had told him.

Dashing across the street, Brittany felt nothing but the adrenaline pumping through her veins. Bullets kicked at the dirt at her feet, and some whizzed by her face, but she kept running, stopping only when she was behind the building that Reiben had used earlier. She leaned against the wall, catching her breath for just a few seconds before she ran for the next piece of building where Reiben had moved to. He just glanced at her when she came up beside him, pressing her back to the stone. He carefully peeked around the corner to the flak gun that was still causing serious damage. When he was sure he would have his shot, he nodded for Brittany to take a position at the other end of the wall. She nodded her understanding and went to stand right at the edge.

Taking his position at the other end, Reiben gathered himself for a final moment and then gave her another nod. Without hesitating, Brittany curled her body around the edge of the wall so that she was exposed to the Germans and fired her weapon at them. The diversion worked and as they worked to turn the larger gun in her direction, Reiben popped out from behind the other end and shot them all down. When they were all dead, the two of them ran for another piece of destroyed building. They huddled together behind another wall, unable to keep from grinning at each other. They had worked together to defeat the enemy. It was a good feeling.

Of course, all good things must come to an end. At that moment they heard a resounding crash, and their heads spun around to look in the direction of the bell tower. Brittany watched with horrified eyes as the top of the structure crumbled and fell. She could almost feel herself go numb as she though of Jackson sitting up there with his rifle, unaware that a moment later things would end. But, no, he couldn't be dead. She just couldn't believe it. Jackson, the man who had been nothing but nice to her, and had given her much needed advice that night she had first kissed Reiben. How could someone with so much joy and goodness in them be taken from this world in such a manner? It wasn't true. It couldn't be true. Without thinking about the logical side of things, Brittan started walking towards the ruined bell tower. Reiben grabbed her arm.

"Brittany," he said, not stern but gentle, a touch of sorrow in his own voice, "Theres nothing you can do. Hes gone." Brittany turned to look at him with desperate eyes.

"I have to be sure," she told him, and slowly he let go of her arm. She looked at him, lightly kissing the tips of her fingers before running them down one of his cheeks. "Don't wait up for me. If the Captain calls for you guys to retreat across the bridge you go." And then she turned and jogged off, trying not to think about the ache she felt in her chest as she left Reiben behind. She hated to do it, but she had no choice. After all that Jackson had done for her, after all they'd been through, she couldn't just accept the fact that he was dead without seeing it for herself.

Ramelle had been turned into a frenzy. Everywhere Brittany went they were soldiers covering the ground. Some were dead, others were on their way. Her instincts as a medic tried to take over, but she told herself it would be pointless to stop. The Germans were winning, slowly pushing their small bunch back towards the bridge. If she stopped she would be killed. There were no special privileges for medics this particular time. She leapt over piles of rubble, and dodged behind various crumbling buildings. When she finally reached the bell tower she slowed her pace, realizing that she really didn't want to see Jackson dead. If he, his body, was still in the bell tower, it would be almost impossible for her to get to it. She pushed that thought out of her head as she walked around to the back of the building.

As she rounded the corner, Brittany froze, her breath caught in her throat. Jackson was on the ground, sprawled on top of a pile of wooden boards. He appeared to have been flung from one of the window openings in he bell tower, falling to the ground. For a few seconds she almost couldn't move her feet, and then finally she found the strength to pick up her legs and walk forward. She was aware of the moist feeling of tears around her eyes but she didn't care. She felt no shame in them. If anything, Jackson deserved her tears at the very least. She ser her M-1 on the ground next to her as she squatted down next to her friend. It felt good to call him that, and it was true. It wasn't just Wade. They had all become her friends. Well, Reiben had become more, but he could still be called a friend.

"Oh, Jackson," she said in a whisper laden with emotion. He looked so peaceful.

Something in the back of her mind, probably that medic instinct again, wanted her to go through the motions of checking his pulse and all that. But all Brittany wanted to do was be alone in her grief as she gazed into the pale, lifeless face before her. She reached out a shaking towards him, running her fingers through his blond hair. When he moaned, she almost didn't notice. Then his head turned a fraction of an inch, and the fingers on one of his hands moved. She gasped, pulling her hand back as she watched his chest rise and fall with a struggling breath. Immediately she felt as though every part of her was leaping into action. She placed one hand on his forehead and the other on his ribcage in an attempt to keep him still.

"Jackson?" she said, trying to ignore the squeaky tone to her voice, "Jackson, if you can hear me I need you to keep very still. You've fallen over a hundred feet and I don't know the extent of your injuries. Please stay still until I can get a look." She wasn't sure if he could hear her, but he stopped his minute movements. The only things she could see move was his chest when he breathed.

Having left her medical kit where she had slept last night, Brittany felt very stupid. She hadn't thought she would be needing it, thought it would slow her down and get in the way. She hadn't been planning on treating anybody today. Today she had been a rifleman. Now she did what she could, probing her fingers along his arms, legs, and ribs looking for broken bones. She found quite a few, but there was nothing she could do about it. As she worked she couldn't help but marvel at the idea that Jackson was still alive. The fall alone should have killed him, but logically he should have been dead before he fell. The force of the blast should have damaged his lungs at the very least. Yet he was alive, there was no denying that. She was convinced she wasn't seeing things.

"Brittany," she heard him say in a strained whisper, and Brittany stopped what she was doing, leaning down in front of his face.

"I'm right here, Jackson," she told him softly. She waited, but he didn't say anything else.

That was when she noticed the tear in the collar of his jacket. It was in the back, so she gently worked her hand back to get a close look. It appeared as though something had snagged the jacket, tearing it all the way to the top. As she fingered the fabric she started taking a closer look at her surroundings. She couldn't think of any way that this damage could have happened before his fell. Then, she looked up, and her eyes locked on an object jutting from the side of the bell tower. As she gazed at the sculpture the scene of Jackson falling played in her head, and she couldn't believe that she was thinking. The idea seemed impossible. Yet, what other explanation was there?

"Angels on our shoulder," Jackson said in his strained voice, though she heard him clear as day. Brittany shook her head in disbelief, unable to take her eyes from the building.

"You have no idea," she said in a murmur.

The angel that had been carved into the side of the tower, perhaps halfway down, looked down on the pair of them with kind eyes of stone. Its arms were held in a welcoming gesture, as though it only wanted to wrap itself protectively around everyone. But what had held Brittany's gaze were its wings. Spread spectacularly behind it, they were of simple detail, flowing gracefully up to pointed tips. As she stared, she could swear she could see a piece of drab green fabric, clinging to the rough stone. Yet again she saw Jackson fall in her mind's eyes, thrown from his position at the top by the blast from the tank. But halfway through his descent, she watched as, in her head, his jacket gets caught on the wing of the angel, hanging there a moment before it tears through the fabric and drops him the rest of the way to the pile of wood, slowing the force of his impact. Unbelievable, and yet it was the only explanation she could see.

How long she sat there, staring up into the angel's face, her hand resting lightly on Jackson's head, but Brittany was jolted out of her deep thinking by the sound of an explosion. Her first thought was that the others had blown the bridge. Instinctively she threw herself protectively over Jackson, throwing an arm over her head as she cautiously looked up. Another blast shook the city as she saw a plane zoom overhead. It took her a moment to piece together what was going on, but when she did she practically jumped up screaming in joy. It was the Air Force, coming to save the day. It was their side taking the enemy out. Knowing that it would be foolish to get up now, she kept her head down to wait things out, but with a smile on her face.

* * *

Meanwhile, over at the bridge, as the planes dropped their last few bombs, Reiben was running over to check on Captain Miller who had been injured during the final part of the fight. He reached into Miller's jacket to feel the wound, and his fingers were coated in blood. He stared at them in anguish before getting up to scream for a medic. Along with the Air Force, ground troops had finally shown up. He called to no avail. He turned around, and saw Ryan bent down in front of the Captain, listening to something the man was saying. Reiben watched with blank interest, feeling more weary than he even remembered feeling.

When Ryan stood back up, Reiben could see that the Captain was dead. With a heavy heart he walked over and fished something out his leader's pocket. It was the letter that Caparzo had written to his dad. It had passed from Wade to the Captain, and now it came to Reiben. He noticed his hand shake as he stuffed it into his pocket, knowing that he would have to rewrite it as Wade had before. It was a task he would feel proud to do. A testament to his buddies. It was all he could really do. He stood next to Ryan, a guy that he had once hated but now understood, as they both stared down into Miller's lifeless face. He wondered briefly if there was anything that Brittany could have done to save him.

"Shit!" Reiben cursed suddenly, causing Ryan to look at him in alarm, "Brittany." And with that single word Reiben took off, jogging quickly back into the depths of Ramelle. He was shocked to think that he had nearly forgotten about her.

James Ryan watched him go, still standing in front of Captain Miller. He understood Reiben's sudden alarm, but James himself was not worried. His sister was fine. He knew she was. All of the bad blood that had been between them was gone, mended partially by their reunion, but mostly by their new commonality. They were both soldiers, had both now fought together. There could no longer be any animosity between them. This meant that their unique ability to "feel" the presence of the other was back, and he knew that Brittany was just fine, just as he also knew that Reiben loved her, and that was alright, too. Their mother would be pleased at least.

* * *

When the bombing stopped, Brittany cautiously raised her head. She took a moment to listen for anything that sounded like a threat, but the only thing that she could hear were the sounds of the Germans retreating, and the American survivors cheering. Still smiling, she sat back up, still wondering at the miracles that had happened today. Not only was she engaged to what was probably the most arrogant and annoying man she had ever met, but looking at Jackson, and the timing on the part of the Air Force, she almost couldn't believe any of it. When Jackson moaned again she was suddenly reminded that she had priorities to take care of, and that marveling over the events of the day would have to wait.

"Jackson," she said to him, "I have to go find you a stretcher so we can get you out of here. I'm going to go but I swear I'll be back." Brittany was reluctant to leave him, but she had no idea if anyone would find her, and the faster they gto Jackson out here the better his chances at surviving were. As miraculous as it was that he was alive, he was still in critical condition. She started running back through the city the way she had come, looking around for anyone who could help her. That was when she heard his voice.

"Brittany!" Reiben's voice called from some distance away. Brittany stopped dead in her tracks, as though shocked by the sound of his voice. It made her heart soar in a way that she had never thought possible, and she ran in the direction it was coming from, her mind absorbed with nothing else that the thought of him.

"Reiben!" she found herself calling back.

"Brittany!" he shouted again, his tone hopeful now, as well as closer. She was sprinting now, almost tripping over all the rubbling on the ground, but she didn't care.

"Reiben!" she yelled, hoping she was getting close.

And then there he was, standing there in the middle of the ruined city, staring at her with eyes full of relief. Brittany stopped her frenzied pace as she stared back at him, as though convincing herself that Reiben was really standing there. Then she was running fullspeed at him, throwing her arms around him in a tight embrace. He reciprocated by wrapping his own arms around her, lifting her into the air as he buried his face in her shoulder. One way or another their lips met and she didn't hesitate to kiss him with all the energy she could muster. There was no pulling back early this time. For the first time they were able to stand their with each other, expressing their love, and she did love him. Brittany did pull away eventually, but it was a grudging thing. As she gazed into his eyes, she saw a kind love in them that she recognized, and she suddenly remembered why she had been running through the city in the first place.

"Shit, I forgot about Jackson," she said frantically, looking around as though a stretcher would have materialized while she had been occupied with Reiben, "Hes alive. Reiben we need to find a stretcher!" Reiben was looking at her in shocked puzzlement.

"Wait," he said, "Slow down. You're telling me that Jackson survived that tank blast?" Brittany nodded, knowing it sounded impossible, but there was no time to try and convince him.

They found a stretcher and ran back to collect Jackson. Reiben stared at their friend with the same disbelief that Brittany had. He had asked her how this was possible, but she didn't tell him her theory, instead just telling him that she didn't know. She wasn't sure that pulling out the 'its a miracle' thing would be wise. It would only delay getting Jackson treatment, and that was what was important. Together she and Reiben got him back to where the reinforcements were setting things up. At first they had trouble acquiring a jeep, but Brittany solved things rather easily.

"Listen up," she growled at the poor jeep driver she had grabbed by the shirt and had shoved against a wall, "This man was part of the force that was brave enough to stay and try to keep the Germans away from this bridge, and he is a veteran of D-Day. He has done more for the war effort than you could ever dream of doing, and he needs immediate medical attention. If you don't want to get us to the nearest hospital, then I'll have no choice but to take the vehicle by force. I doubt that would look good on your record, am I right?" She was pissed, and for good reason. The driver looked at her with wide, fearful eyes, as Reiben and Jimmy looked on with smug smiles on their faces.

"O-okay," the driver finally said, and they loaded Jackson into a jeep. Brittany got in, Reiben and her brother shortly behind her. None of them were ready to argue about staying behind. They were ready to go. Besides, the job of Miller and his squad had been to find Ryan and bring him home. Reiben was fulfilling that duty. As soon as they got Jackson treated. Upham, the quiet member of the group that had been formed only days ago, had decided to stay behind. He seemed to have finally adjusted to the life of a soldier.

The hospital they found themselves at was a good-sized, very clean looking place not far from Ramelle. It was an aid station, but it was so big that they got soldiers from everywhere. It was a place for them to stay before they were shipped back to England. Brittany and Reiben rushed Jackson in and found him a bed. A swarm of medics and nurses surrounded him. Brittany let them take over, feeling exhausted, though she did so grudgingly. She took a seat with Reiben and her brother in some chairs that were in the corner. Reiben had her arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. It had been a long day, and for the first time in a long time she felt like she could actually sleep. But, she was interrupted by a familiar voice, one that she had not heard in a long time.

"I thought I recognized you," it said, and Brittany opened her eyes and looked up. There, standing perfectly straight with his hands folded behind his back, was General Boeing, the man who had gotten her overseas in the first place. All three of them jumped up, snapping salutes. The General smiled at them. "As you were." Reiben and and Jimmy sat back down, but Brittany stayed standing, smiling.

"I never thought I would see you again, sir," she finally said. The General smiled at her and nodded.

"Likewise," he told her, "I have to admit when I heard that you had volunteered yourself for going to Neuville I thought that you wouldn't last another week. That was dangerous territory. But I see that you are alive and well. Are you here for a purpose?" As a force of habit, Brittany stood before the General, mimicking his posture. She nodded.

"Yes, sir," she said, "We just came from Ramelle. One of our friends was seriously injured and needed immediate medical attention." The general nodded again, mostly to himself.

"So," he said, looking over at Reiben and Jimmy, "Which one is he?" Brittany smiled, and pointed at her brother, who looked very confused.

"That one," she said brightly, looking at Jimmy and Reiben, "Guys, I'd like you to meet General Boeing. This is the man who made it possible for me to be here." In a move that surprised Brittany, Reiben quickly got up from his chair and stood next to her. He held his hand out to the general, who shook it firmly.

"I've been dying to meet you, sir," Reiben said, making Brittany look at him in confusion. Reiben smiled at her and then put his arm around her shoulders. "Because I want to thank you. I don't know what we would have done without her." She blinked at him, totally taken by surprise by his sentiment. She shook it off and looked back to General Boeing, a look of curiosity on her face. Something had occurred to her.

"Sir?" she said, "How did you know that I would only have one brother left? I haven't seen you since I found out the others were dead, but you said which _one_." The general smiled at her softly.

"Well," he began, "I must admit that I didn't get any of my information without a little help. For the past two days I've been talking with someone who knows you quite well." For the third time Brittany felt hopelessly baffled as she watched the general walk a few yards away and pull back a curtain surrounding one of the beds. The face peering at the group of them from the pillows was indeed familiar.

"Captain Hamill!" she squealed and ran forward. Captain Hamill smiled at her from his position on the bed, letting out a laugh when Brittany threw her arms around him.

Throughout her time in Europe, Brittany had met many people, and had bonded with several of them. Most were just buddies, men she could hang with when she wasn't working on one patient or another. Captain Hamill had been more. Not in the sense that Reiben was, but in a very different way. He had been like a father to her while she had been in Neuville, and the two had bonded in a way that was probably frowned upon by other officers. More often than not, men in Hamill's position of authority were encouraged not to become to attached to their soldiers, but of course, Brittany was not a typical soldier. She hadn't realized just how much she cared about Hamill, or vice versa, until she had been forced to leave with Miller and the other guys, because she had thought that she would never see him again. She was sure he had felt the same way. Seeing him in the hospital was more than she could have ever have hoped for.

"Its good to see you, too, kid," he told her pleasantly. Brittany let go of him and took a step back, glancing him over. He appeared to be more or less whole. She wondered what he was doing at the hospital. He seemed to understand her look because he explained. "I got pinged in the leg two days ago, just before our reinforcements showed up. Finally, right?" Brittany laughed a little, but felt a great relief that the soldiers at Neuville had finally been relieved.

"What about Mac?" she asked, "And Twist, how are they?"

"They're fine," Hamill told her with a smile, "But come on, I'm dying to hear about what you've been up to since you left." Brittany smiled softly and sat gently on the bed next to him. Reiben came up behind her before she could start talking, Jimmy right behind him.

"Brittany," Reiben said, "We're going to go see if we can lend a hand in the other room, alright?" She nodded at him, and he bent down and kissed her hair. It was nice, but it something she was going to have to get used to. She watched him walk away, pleased to see the her brother was actually getting along with him. When she looked back at Captain Hamill, the man was smiling broadly.

"Well," he said with a hint of smugness, "I sure didn't see that coming. I was more expecting it to be that other medic, or even the guy with the southern accent." Even thought the mention of both Wade and Jackson caused a pain in her chest, Brittany was still able to smile.

"Yeah," she said, "I didn't see it coming either. But hes not so bad. We're actually a lot alike." Hamill looked at her with one eyebrow raised.

"That one you'll have to explain to me," he said skeptically. And Brittany was more than happy to oblige the request. She spent the rest of the afternoon recounting the events of the past few days. Getting it all off of her chest felt better than she could have imagined.

The rest of the day was spent with Brittany telling her story to Captain Hamill while the boys helped out as much as they could around the hospital. She was surprised, and pleased to see them both willing to help so much. General Boeing was in and out, meeting with other people who were high up on the rank ladder and such. When she checked on Jackson after she had finished with Hamill, she found him still alive but in critical condition. No one seemed hopefuly that he would make it, but inside she knew it would be alright, because she knew what no one else did. She knew that the fact that he was breathing was a miracle, and such a thing would not have happened just to let him die hours later. He was going to be fine.

Night fell, and lamps began to get turned on around the hospital, giving the place a warm glow. It reminded Brittany so much of everywhere she had been, it was rather soothing. She, Reiben, and Jimmy were given some blankets and pillows. The found a corner away from the main room and laid down, Brittany curling up next to Reiben. Jimmy spread out a few feet away. None of them spoke. They were all exhausted. Brittany and Reiben did smile at each other as she nestled into the crook of his arm. It had been so long since she had felt so honeslty tired, it was almost alarming. But, she knew that it was because everything that she had worried about was alright. She had Jimmy back. In the process she had lost many friends, but she had gained something amazing in Reiben. So, as she closed her eyes, for what would be a perfect night's sleep, she knew that if she dreamt, they would be nothing but good dreams. Everything was going to be alright.


	9. Epilogue: Life After Hell

Disclaimer: WARNING - This author has run out of witty ideas for saying that she does not own Saving Private Ryan, so if you were expecting some kind of joke you're going to be sorely disappointed.

Note: Alright, I said I was going to write and epilogue thing and I did. It just ended up being WAAAAY longer than I expected it to be, so it ended up taking WAAAAY longer than I expected it to. There just ended up being a lot of stuff to write. I feel really good about this, it feels good to actually get all of my ideas into one fic. Its like a very great sense of completion. This story is DONE. Totally done. Its a good feeling :)

A few things. I'm sorry if it gets really rushed in some places, I sort of meant some paragraphs to just get a lot of information about things that happened said, so a lot of things just got one sentence and thats it. But I hope you all enjoy it because I really enjoyed writing it. I'm absolutely in LOVE with the ending. One of my better ideas. So, I guess thats it. Please, don't forget to review! And keep on the lookout for the next chapter of my Band of Brothers fic! Speaking of BoB fics...Bobadoo's Lese Majeste...read it! O.o

Oh! And yeah, I just sort of winged it with the wedding vows because I was too lazy to look up proper ones xD

* * *

**Epilogue**: **Life After Hell**

"Brittany, I said no."

"But why not? The captain can do it as as well as any minister could."

"I haven't even met your mother! And besides, I haven't even had the chance to do things properly yet."

"Then what was that back in Ramelle?"

"Desperation."

The couple argued as they sat in a compartment of the vast transportation ship they were on. Brittany sat on a seat with her arms folded firmly. Reiben stood before her, looking thoroughly annoyed. This was not the first time they had had this disagreement. Ever since they had left France to be shipped to England, he had been arguing with her about when they were getting married. She was trying to convince him the sooner the better, but he had suddenly gotten all noble on her and was telling her that nothing was happening until he was able to "properly propose" and meet her mother. Because they had been arguing, they hadn't realized that they had disturbed the other person in the room.

"Don't you guys have your own room you can argue in?" Jackson mumbled from his bed. Brittany leapt to her feet and rushed to his side, leaving a disgruntled Reiben behind to fume. She placed a hand on Jackson's bandaged head.

"How are you feeling, Jackson?" she asked.

"Like I've been run over by a large truck," he responded, "But I'll live." This was the first time he was awake and speaking normally, so Brittany did a quick check while he was able to tell her where things still hurt.

When they were still in France at the hospital they had rushed Jackson to, the struggle to save his life had been a long one. After she had finished talking to Captain Hamill, she had gone to check on Jackson only to find the swarm of nurses still bandaging and splinting almost his entire body. They told her that his chances were better in England, but the problem was there was no way they could safely transport him with all of the trauma his body had sustained. They had done what they could, and Brittany had vigilantly monitored him for the next few days. Slowly, his bones mended, and he was able to communicate through tiny finger movements. The other nurses and medics were not optimistic, but Brittany never lost hope, and through patience and determination, Jackson began to heal.

To make room at the hospital, which was beginning to become overcrowded, they finally moved Jackson onto a boat to transport him to England. Brittany went, along with Reiben, her brother, Captain Hamill, and even General Boeing. They were a good number of other injured soldiers who were being evacuated, so Brittany spent part of the time that she wasn't spending hovering over Jackson by helping to keep everyone well. The other part of the time she spent with Reiben and, more often than not, her brother. As much as she was grateful to have her brother back, she was getting rather annoyed about him invading her privacy, which is how she viewed what he was doing. The only time she and Reiben could really be alone was when they were both in the small room that they had put Jackson in.

"How long have I been out?" Jackson asked while Brittany checked all of his injuries, which were still tender and mending.

"A few weeks, I suppose," Brittany answered, "But you were responding with hand movements after about four days. Do you remember anything?" She still had not told anyone about the angel that saved Jackson's life, knowing that even when she explained things properly, everyone would probably look at her like she was a lunatic. Jackson let out a deep breath and sank into his pillows, staring up at the ceiling.

"Not much," he said, "I remember being in the bell tower, and I remember seeing the tank turn and aim for us. I yelled for...for Parker to get down, but I knew we were both goners. Or, I guess, I thought we were both goners." He paused, and Brittany didn't press him, but he eventually continued. "Things after that get fuzzy. I just remember a lot of pain, and then I didn't feel anything. I thought I was dead, and then I could hear your voice. At first I thought I was in heaven-"

"Easy there, pal," Reiben said from the corner. Brittany gave him a silencing look, but Jackson was grinning. Reiben walked up behind her and Brittany felt one of his hands on her shoulder. As annoyed with him as she was, she couldn't shrug it off like part of her wanted to.

When they were in Ramelle, there had been no time for any of the typical feelings of being in love. Everything had been too hectic, and they were obviously not in the right place to be feeling anything. Not that that had stopped them from becoming attached to one another, but even then Brittany had not been totally sure it had been a good idea. Now they were away from the stresses of war and the roles that came along with that. She had been shocked to find herself growing weak in the knees when he wrapped his arm around her, melted when she saw him smile, but she had no choice but to get used to it.

"So you don't remember anything else?" she asked Jackson, careful to keep her voice the casual tone of a medic gathering information. Jackson tried to shake his head, but it wasn't incredibly successful and so she nodded her understanding as he sank back down in his pillows. Even in his weak state he looked at her suspiciously.

"Is there something I'm supposed to be remembering?" he asked her, and Brittany bit her lower lip. She could feel Reiben's eyes on her as she stared down at Jackson, and she knew there was no backing out now. She took a deep breath.

"This is going to sound really crazy," she told them, "I hardly believe it myself, but..." She trailed off momentarily, gathering her thoughts, before continuing. "When I found you lying at Ramelle, I couldn't even think straight. I didn't even bother checking your pulse because I was sure you were dead." Her voice broke slightly, and she felt Reiben's arm tighten around her shoulders comfortably. She could do this, she just had to get through it. "Then you moved, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. There was no away you should have survived that blast, but I couldn't find anything to suggest that I was dreaming. Then...then I looked up, at the side of the church. Do you guys remember that angel statue thing that was carved into the side, with the large wings pointing upward?" They both nodded. "Well, there was a tear in your shirt, Jackson, and there was a bit of fabric clinging to the wings of the angel." She stopped there, knowing that they would do most of the explaining that was left on their own. Sure enough, Brittany watched as comprehension dawned on both their faces. They looked at her in amazement.

"You're saying that a miracle saved my life?" Jackson asked, his voice full of sincere curiosity, not scorn like she would have thought. Brittany sighed and shrugged.

"Its the only way you could have survived, Jackson," she said softly, "Whatever it was saved you. If it weren't for the statue, you'd probably be dead." He stared at her for several moments longer, and she could tell that he was trying to work everything out in his head.

After a few seconds, she watched with a baffled expression as Jackson lifted one of his heavily bandaged hands up towards her. Knowing that this was a tremendous effort for him, Brittany quickly reached out and grabbed it gently in her own. He squeezed it as hard as he could, which wasn't very, and he squeezed back. They continued to stare at each other for the longest time, Reiben miraculously keeping quiet all the while. When Jackson spoke, it was enough to make Brittany's heart swell.

"An angel did save me," he said as clearly and firmly as he could, "But she's a lot prettier than a stone carving."

--

Late summer in England was beautiful. Everything was green and warm. In the quaint towns and rolling hills, soldiers could forget that there was a war going on. Peace and quiet could be had, warm food, and even showers. It was like home for many, but it was paradise for Brittany and the others. With Jackson recovering in the large hospital nearby, the other three were simply able to enjoy life outside of the battlefield. Of course, it was not always so peaceful.

"Reiben, you're being ridiculous!" Brittany exclaimed. She was standing in the washroom of the hospital cleaning some sheets, her arms elbow deep in soapy water. She was also quite angry.

"No," Reiben retorted irritably, "I'm being the sensible one! We cannot just get married, Brittany."

"But why not?"

"Because...because we just can't!" Brittany pulled her arms out of the water and snatched a towel from the shelf nearby. She hastily dried her hands off and then tossed the towel back down on the counter. She stood, glaring at Reiben as she tried to control her anger.

"If you can't even give me a good enough reason why we have to wait," she finally said, keeping her voice as calm as she could, "Then perhaps you shouldn't have proposed to me in the first place." This, she knew, was a low blow, because it sounded as though she was saying that she wished he hadn't proposed to her at all, which wasn't true. She was just getting completely frustrated with him. He did look hurt though.

"You're brother would kill me," he said in a quieter voice, and Brittany realized that his had been the source of all of his resistance from the beginning. She sighed. Of course Reiben was worried about what Jimmy was going to think. She felt stupid not to have thought of this before. She reached over and grabbed one of his hands in hers. His skin was rough, but it still felt so comfortable against her own. She looked up at him, all of her anger forgotten.

"Jimmy is not going to care," she told him gently, "He's happy that I'm happy, and thats all that matters. So stop worrying about what my brother is going to think, and marry me before I have to shoot you." Smiling at him, she felt perfectly at ease. Reiben looked at her blankly for a moment, but then his face bloomed into a grin.

They found Jimmy outside in the summer sun, chatting with General Boeing. The two of them had developed a bond, swapping war stories in their spare time. It made Brittany smile seeing her brother so happy. He seemed less tense, and she knew it was because he was away from the battlefield where he had spent the longest days of his life under the never ending stress of the life of a soldier. In truth, she felt just as at peace as Jimmy seemed to be. The landscape was beautiful, the weather was wonderful, and she had people that she loved with her. Life was good.

"Hey, Jimmy," Brittany said brightly as she and Reiben got closer, "Good afternoon, General." General Boeing smiled his warm smile at her from where he sat on the low stone wall that ran along the side of one of the dirt roads.

"Hey, Britt," Jimmy said, sounding as though he had been laughing only moments ago, "You have that look on your face like you want to talk to me about something. What is it?" Brittany couldn't help but turn her lips up in a grin, savoring the feeling that the connection she had once shared with her brother had returned. Reiben took a seat next to General Boeing, as though he felt safer there. Brittany had eyes only for her brother in that moment.

"You need to tell Reiben that he's allowed to marry me as soon as possible before I have to cause anyone bodily harm," she told Jimmy simply, folding her arms over her chest. Jimmy stared at her blankly a moment, as though he couldn't comprehend what she had said. Then he frowned at her and glanced at Reiben.

"Why do I need to tell him anything?" he asked her irritably, "Its not like my opinion matters on this issue." Sighing, again, she looked at him with a weary expression. She had expected this kind of reaction. Jimmy was upset because Reiben had proposed to her without his knowledge, and that Brittany had not told him until they were in the midst of a battle, and only because he'd asked.

"Jimmy...," she said tenderly, stepping forward and sitting next to her brother, "I've told you that I'm sorry. I don't know what more you want me to do." She gazed at him with pleading eyes, willing him to see reason and let them be happy. Slowly she watched as his face changed from determined annoyance, to a look so soft and vulnerable, Brittany had to look twice to make sure she was really seeing it.

"This just isn't how things are supposed to go," he began saying in a voice barely above a whisper, his eyes staring straight ahead at nothing, as though he would lose his nerve to speak if he looked at Brittany, "All four of us were supposed to come home to you and Mom's joyous faces. I would suffer the cold shoulder from you for a few weeks for leaving without telling you and then you would forgive me. We were all going to live happily together again, the war would be over. Then you were going to meet a nice man who was going to be able to protect and provide for you. He was going to come to me, Danny, Sean, and Pete, asking us for your hand in marriage, and after careful consideration we would agree wholeheartedly. It was going to be a big wedding, as beautiful as you deserve. I, um...I thought that maybe I would walk you down the aisle. Mom would be crying as I gave you away and I would watch as my little sister said her vows to the man she would spend the rest of her life with, and everything would be as it should be." He paused to take a deep breath, and Brittany could see that his hands were shaking, and his voice was heavy with emotion. If she were able to get a good look at his face, she though she might even see a tear or two sliding down his cheeks.

"But thats not how things are happening now," he continued, "None of this is what I had planned for, and I don't even have one of the others here to tell me how to handle it. I don't know what to do, Britt." All while he was speaking, Brittany had felt her heart tear over and over again as she listened to her brother agonize over what should have been. She had never had many visions in her head of marriage, but she supposed she would have eventually, and she would have wanted it exactly as Jimmy had described. It all sounded so nice. And the idea of her other brothers still being alive caused mixed emotions. She laid a hand on Jimmy's arm.

"You're right," she said softly, surprised at the emotion in her own voice, "That is how things should have been. And you're right that its not how things are happening now. But Jimmy, I'm happy with things now. I did something I never would have thought possible. I came over here and I found you. I've seen things that may not have been pleasant, but I've grown and become a person I'm proud of. I met some amazing people, and I saved a lot of lives. I found someone that I love, someone who doesn't need to be the girly twit I tried being at home." This warranted a smile from everyone there, including the General. "I wish like crazy that Danny, Sean, and Pete were here, too, but no amount of wishing is going to bring them back, and I know that. But I have you, and that's enough." Brittany threw an arm around her brother and rested her head on his shoulder. He reciprocated and wrapped his own arm around her. Yes, everything was going to be just fine. Or, so she thought.

"I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news," General Boeing said, sitting forward a little, "But there is one part of this problem that none of you have thought of yet." They all looked at him quizzically, and Brittany felt a distinct sense of dread. The general continued. "Ryan, as the orders given to Captain Miller and his squad stated, is to be shipped back to the States. There can be no negotiations on that front. However, Reiben is supposed to rejoin the fighting forces once Ryan is safely away and no longer his responsibility. I don't suppose any of you have considered that in any of this?"

As the words swelled and crashed over Brittany, she felt her heart sink. She had not, in fact, thought about that, and hearing the general talk about it made her feel as though all of the visions she had had of the future had gone up in flames. She glanced over at Reiben, who was looking at her with the same kind of anguish on his face. How long had they known each other now? Three weeks? It was barely a month she knew that. Hardly long enough to know that you were in love with someone, but the thought of leaving him behind while she, her brother, and Jackson went home, caused Brittany such unbelievable pain, that she was up on her feet before she knew it. She walked across the small road, taking a seat on the stone wall next to Reiben. She reached over and grabbed his hand in hers.

"I'm not leaving without him," she said in a firm voice. It came as no surprise when both her brother and Reiben practically exploded. Jimmy started shouting something about how there was no way she was staying here, she was going home with him and that was final. Meanwhile Reiben was shouting about how there was no way he was going to let her stay here, she was going home with her brother and that was final. Bridget let them go on for a minute or so before she yelled for them to stop. When they were quiet, she continued. "Listen to me, both of you. I won't be able to be happy if Reiben has to stay behind." She turned to her brother, looking at him with pleading eyes. "Jimmy, I'd be miserable." Her brother stared back at her, his black expression slowly turning anguished. He sighed.

"I know," he said in a heavily forlorn voice, "I know." He let his shoulders slump. There was a silence then, as they all stared at the ground. Unsure of what to do. Brittany tightened her grip on Reiben's hand, as though putting an emphasis on the statement she had just made. She glanced up at the general, who hadn't said anything since he had dropped his bomb as it were, and became very confused when she saw that he was smiling.

"Goodness," he said cheerfully, "You're a jumpy lot." All three of them looked at him with puzzled expressions. He kept smiling. "I said that Private Reiben is supposed to rejoin the fighting forces after his duty to get Private Ryan sent home is complete. That is what the rules say, and that is what is normally done. However, I believe that we have ventured out of the realm of normal already, don't you?" He looked pointedly at Brittany, and she knew what he was talking about. He continued. "It is possible for Reiben to be sent home along with the rest of you, Jackson included. There is plenty of war left to fight, but I believe that if he feels that he has seen his share of it, then he should be able to go home. I also simply want to know that you are safe and happy at home again." Again he looked at Brittany, and she nodded.

"I won't leave him," she repeated. The general nodded.

"Yes, I know," he said, "But I'm afraid that you must return with your brother. I brought you here to find him, and now that you have you are going home, whether you like it or not. The decision of whether or not Reiben will join you is entirely up to him." He glanced at Reiben, but his gaze quickly returned to Brittany. "It is very possible he will decide to go home, to get on that ship with you, your brother, and Jackson in a few days. But, it is also likely that he may choose to stay, for the same reasons that you chose to stay at Ramelle. It is his choice, and no one else's, and I hope that regardless of his choice you will support him." The entire last bit had been directed to Brittany, and she had listened intently. She nodded firmly to the general.

"Yes, sir," she said, her voice soft and hushed. She didn't trust her emotions just then. Turning to Reiben, she saw that he was staring down at her with a hard expression to read. She gazed up at him.

Most other people in her position would be pleading the person they loved to come with them, to forget about their responsibilities and just come home with them where they would be safe. However, Brittany was not most people. Part of her, and it was difficult to see just how large that part was, wanted to beg Reiben to make the choice to leave Europe and stay with her, but another part knew that the general was right. If she were in Reiben's shoes, she wasn't sure just what she would decide to do. So, when she looked up at him, it was not with a pleading stare. In fact, she gave him the same message with that look that she had given her brother back in Ramelle. Make your own decision. Reiben nodded to her. Brittany hung her head as she waited for him to announce his choice. Then she felt his hand under her chin, and he was lifting her face back up to look in his own. When he kissed her this time it was unlike most of their previous ones. It was soft and sweet and when he pulled back she buried her face in his chest, wrapping her arms around him as tight as they would go. He curled his own arms around her.

"I won't leave you either," he said in a voice that was barely above a mumble, but Brittany heard him clear as day, and she knew that Jimmy and the general had heard him, too.

"Well," she heard the general say brightly, and she pulled her head back from Reiben just enough so she could turn to look at him, "That settles that then." She smiled at all of then, a quick glance behind her showed Brittany that Jimmy was smiling, too. Brother and sister grinned at each other.

"I guess we're having a wedding tomorrow," he said, and didn't sound even the least bit upset about it.

--

"I can't do this," Brittany said, pacing back and forth in the small room, shaking her head vigorously, "I really, really can't do this." There was a snort of laughter from the other side of the room.

"As much as I enjoy watching you fret," Jimmy said, "I'm afraid I have to tell you, for the tenth time, that you can do this." Brittany glared heavily at him.

They were in the upstairs room of one of the British homes in Aldbourne. During their stay, the lot of them had been billeted with a woman, whose husband and son were off fighting the war. Mrs. Williams had plenty of room to spare. She had even taken quite a liking to Brittany. In fact, it was Mrs. Williams wedding dress that she now wore. The woman had allowed her to borrow it for the day, since the short notice gave not enough time for one to be made. It was even in the beautiful garden that Mrs. Williams tended in the backyard that the ceremony was being held. To Brittany it was as though her own mother were acting excited over the wedding. Of course now, standing in the room with her brother, in a simple white dress, holding a bouquet of flowers that had been picked that morning, Brittany was beginning to...freak out.

"What was I thinking?" she wailed desperately grabbing her head in her hands, "This isn't right. Why are you letting me do this?" Her brother didn't even bother answering. He just let her rant, which she did, continuing to pace the room. "I've known him for like three weeks! He proposed while we were waiting certain death! It was desperation, that was all it was. I mean, he's handsome, and nice, and..." She trailed off, as she moaned again and plopped down on a stool, covering her face in her hands. Jimmy sighed and stood, walking over to his little sister and kneeling in front of her. He grabbed both her hands in his and pulled them away from her face.

"And you love him," he said, smiling at her. Brittany looked up at him, her eyes shining with a confused combination of emotions.

"I do?" she said, genuinely asking. Her logic on the situation was out the window. Jimmy looked like he wanted to laugh, but he just kept smiling.

"You do," he replied. Taking a deep breath, Brittany felt herself returning to a relatively calm state of mind as she remembered just what Jimmy was saying. She loved Reiben.

"I do." She smiled back at Jimmy now, wrapping her arms around his neck as he hugged her back. "I really do." Jimmy stood up, bringing her with him. He stepped back.

"Are you ready to do this, then?" he asked her. Brittany took another deep breath, grabbing her flowers from where she had set them down, and nodded to her brother. He grinned broadly, and then his smile turned softer, almost sad as he looked at her. She frowned.

"Jimmy?"

"Sorry," Jimmy said, shaking his head a bit, "You just look so...beautiful." Brittany smiled slightly, feeling her cheeks redden as she looked down to the floor. "Mom and Dad would be proud." She lifted her head and the two of them smiled at each other.

Jimmy turned and offered her his arm. She slid her arm into his and, with another deep breath, let him lead her out of the room. The entire walk through the house, Brittany could feel herself growing nervous again. But she kept reminding herself that she loved Reiben, that this was what she wanted, and somehow she made it out of the house, with Jimmy at her side, without bolting in the opposite direction. The walked around the house, turning the corner into the garden, and there he was.

The general stood up at the front of the "aisle" which was actually a clear path between the flower beds. Brittany had argued that since both her mother and Reiben's were just going to insist on another ceremony when they got home, it was important to her for General Boeing to do this one. It would be official for them, a symbol of their relationship, created in the middle of a war. Both Mrs. Williams and Captain Hamill were sitting in chairs that had been brought out. They both turned to watch as Jimmy led Brittany down the aisle, and she knew that the expressions on their face were the same that any parents would wear as they watched their child on this momentous occasion. Jackson was up at the front, in a wheelchair, but still looking handsome in his uniform as he grinned at her from his seat.

But Brittany had eyes for only one person. Reiben stood perfectly still next to the general, watching Jimmy bring her towards him with just a hint of a smile on his face. If she didn't know any better, it looked as though he was afraid show much more emotion, otherwise the two of them may have both run headlong down the aisle towards each other. He looked more than handsome in his best uniform. He looked perfect. There were suddenly no more doubts in her head. Brittany gripped her brother's arm tighter. Just a few more feet. The last few seconds were agonizing, but finally, Jimmy was placing her hand in Reiben's, giving her one last hug before standing on the opposite side of Jackson, who was serving as Reiben's best man. Jimmy, in a way, was her maid-of-honor. This thought made her break out into a grin, and Reiben widened his own smile widened as they now stood with their hands clasped, staring into each other's eyes.

"Friends and dear ones," the general started, a large smile on his own face, "We have gathered here today to witness the joining of these find young people, whose love has weathered the toughest battlefields and survived. These...soldiers," he paused just long enough to look at Brittany's momentary shocked but pleased expression, "Have chosen to live their lives together, to fight along side each other through the hardships of life." He looked to Reiben.

"Private Richard Reiben, do you promise to love this young woman, to support her in all her decisions, to take care of each other in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Reiben said, gazing intensely at Brittany. The words sent chills through her body. And now it was her turn...

"Private Brittany Ryan," the general said, now looking to Brittany, who had twitched a smile at the title but kept looking right at Reiben, "Do you promise to love this young man, to support him in all his decisions, to take care of each other in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?" Another deep breath...

"I do," she said in as clear a voice as she could muster. She was aware that Mrs. Williams was crying softly in the background.

"On this day these two have vowed their love to each other," the general continued, "If anyone here has a reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your piece." There was, of course, no objection, though Brittany had half-expected Jimmy to pull some sort of prank. The general waited a few seconds before going on. "Very good. Do you two have the items?"

Both Brittany and Reiben grinned as they turned to their respective counterpart, though keeping one of their hands linked. Jackson handed Reiben something as Jimmy handed Brittany something. The couple turned to face each other again, as the general began to recite the final set of vows. In the absence of rings, just as with the dress there was simply no time to come up with something and borrowing was out of the question, the two had decided on a perfect alternative. Repeating after General Boeing, they exchanged their dog tags. This was, as they had determined, was a symbolic as everything else. They giving themselves to the other, forever. Brittany put hers around Reiben's neck as he put his around hers. Now for the big finale.

"As a general in this United States Army," the general concluded, "And being a friend of the both of you, I now pronounce you husband and wife." There was a pause as he grinned. "You may now kiss the bride." This kiss was simple, sweet, just like yesterday. Except now Brittany was kissing her husband, and thought made her feel like the happiest person alive. They would be going home, starting their lives together. Everything was perfect...

--

**Ten years later...**

Standing in her kitchen, Brittany Reiben leisurely scrubbed the last of the dishes, thinking about the diner she would soon need to make. The window above the sink looked out onto their large backyard. Summer was just beginning to start in Hershey, Pennsylvania. They had moved to the city five years ago, and though she was sad to leave Iowa, Brittany had to admit the new state was beautiful. Staring out the window now, she smiled to herself as she dried a plate with a towel. Her eyes wandered around the kitchen absent-mindedly until they fell on a metal bowl in the corner, the words CHARLIE TWO were written on the side of it. The bowl was empty. Sighing, she reached over and opened the window a little bit.

"Jackson!" Brittany shouted, "Come into the house now!" She closed the window again and went back to drying the plate. This was the last dish to be cleaned. She was just setting it with the other clean dishes when Jackson came in through the back door.

"What, Mom?" the boy said in an exasperated voice. Brittany set the plate down, turning to face her young child. Jackson was the third of her children, and had just turned seven years old about a week ago. She stared down at him with a stern look.

"How many times have I told it is your responsibility to feed the dog on Tuesdays?" she asked. Jackson hung his head, scuffing at the floor with his shoe.

"But I wanted to play," he said in a lame attempt to explain himself.

"Jackson, if you do not feed the dog then the dog goes without dinner," Brittany told him, her voice not angry, just firm, "Would you like it if I forgot to feed you your dinner?" The little boy looked at her a moment and then shook his head. "Alright, off with you then." He dashed out the door, and Brittany knew he would do as he was told. He always did after she talked to him like that. She turned back to the sink and watched him out the window anyway, a smile on her face.

When she finished with the last of the dishes Brittany walked slowly into the cozy living room, sitting down in one of the soft chairs that sat there. She leaned back with a contented sigh. Without looking she reached over and plucked a weatherworn leather bound book and pulled it into her lap. She pulled open the cover of the leather-bound photo album and flipped through the familiar pages. The first were pictures of her brothers, which her mother had given to her as a gift. Then came the pictures from her wedding, both the one that had been held in Aldbourne and the one that had been held in New York.

Reiben's mother had won the fight over where the second ceremony would be held. Brittany's mother had put up a fight, until her daughter had explained that she would be getting a free trip to New York, then it had been a piece of cake to get her to agree. The first ceremony in England would, of course, always be the most special to Brittany and Reiben, but the second had been just as wonderful, and their families had been able to meet. Being introduced to Reiben's brothers had been interesting. They were all just like him, cocky and rough around the edges, but very sweet. They adopted Jimmy as one of them almost immediately, which made the entire transition easier.

The decision over where they would live ended up being an even more gruesome battle than the wedding, but after a long discussion with both families, it was decided that they would stay with her mother and Jimmy in Iowa for the time being. Her mother was still getting over the shock of losing three of her children, and now that she didn't have four strong sets of hands to help with the farm, Brittany felt that she was obligated to stay with her family. Reiben had some reservations about leaving New York, but in the end he packed up what few belongings he had and made the move. Jimmy teased him about how they would have to kick him out of bed in the morning to help with the farm chores, but in the three years they lived there, Brittany was proud to note that not once did Reiben need to be forced out of bed. He was a tremendous help.

Turning the page in the photo album, Brittany broke into a wide grin at the next picture. Captain Fred Hamill, who had been at the ceremony in England, had been transferred back to the States with the rest of them. His wounds had been worse than the hospital overseas had thought. When they made it to New York, he had been taken to a hospital in Maine for surgery to remove the shrapnel in his leg, as well as physical therapy. Brittany had remained in contact with him, and a few months later he visited them on the farm in Iowa. When she introduced him to her mother, Brittany had felt in her gut what had happened next. Sure enough, the picture she now gazed at was a photo from a different wedding, one that had been for her mother and Captain Hamill. She now had a full family again, complete with a step-dad whom she had already bonded with. He and her mother spent the rest of their lives happily on the farm, keeping the property even after Jimmy and Brittany had left.

Jimmy got married, too, eventually. It took him about five years after they had come home, but finally he found a nice girl who he could be himself with. She was down-to-earth and very no nonsense. Reiben used to often joke with Brittany that her brother had married someone just like her. They started their own family, and for the most part, Brittany was glad to see her brother living a normal life, but she knew there would always be a darkness there. From private discussions they had had after the returned from Europe, she knew that he did, and probably forever would, feel guilty about the sacrifices that Captain Miller and his squad had made for him. She also knew that it would be pointless for anyone, even her, to try and convince him that he didn't need to be. Thankfully, he was able to cope, and Brittany was content that he could at least be happy with his wife and children.

The thought of children brought her to the next pages in the album. It almost brought tears to her eyes as Brittany looked at the picture of her first born child. John Michael Reiben had been born June 9th of 1946, exactly two years after Brittany had first met Reiben in Neuville. It became important to both of them that they honor their dead friends through their children. Shortly after John came Irwin Stanley (November 21st 1947), then a short break before Jackson Daniel (May 2nd 1950). His name had caused quite a level amusement amongst their extended family. Daniel was, of course, the name of Brittany's oldest brother who had been killed, but it was also their friend Jackson's first name, so in fact it his entire name in reverse as well. After Jackson was born Sean Richard (May 9th 1951) was soon to follow. It was not lost on anyone, that Brittany was following in her mother's footsteps. With four boys in a row, she and Reiben knew that just one more kid was in store for them. She knew as soon as she was pregnant four year's after Sean's birth, that it was a girl. She did not, however, realize that it was not one, but two. Jamie Francine and Adrienne Noelle were welcomed into the world early in the morning on July 4th, 1955. Their family was complete.

"I'm home," a voiced called out, breaking Brittany out of her reminiscing. She closed to album with a smile, putting in back in it's place next to the chair as she got up. She met him at the door.

"I missed you," she said as she wrapped her arm's around Reiben's neck. He smiled at her. There was a brief kiss, before the front door was thrown open.

"Daddy!" cried the chorus of voices as all six children came barreling into the house.

Brittany let go of her husband quickly as they mobbed him. He had become very skilled in how to deal at them all at once, and she sat back down to watch. Most of them began to try and speak to him all at once while he tried to quiet them down. Only two of the youngest, Sean and Jamie, walked over to Brittany, Sean leading his sister by the hand. She gathered them both up, setting both of them on one of her knees. Sean was getting big, but he was still not heavy enough for her to not do this. Her daughter smiled at her.

"Mommy," Jamie said in her sweet voice, "Irwin ate a buggy! It was this big!" She held her arms open as wide as she could while Brittany laughed. She looked to her youngest son who smiled and shook his head.

"It wasn't really that big," he said though there was obvious amusement in his voice.

"Was to!" Jamie shouted back at him, and Brittany let them both down as they argued, though good-naturedly she knew. The two of them were obviously close, and though they were not as near in age as she and Jimmy had been, it was apparent that that same relationship was forming and it made Brittany immensely happy.

Once Reiben had appeased the masses, the herd migrated back outside, where there would be another hour of play before they were called in to wash up for dinner. When they were all gone he turned to Brittany, a smile on his face. He walked over and grabbed one of her hands, pulling her back up to a standing position. He kissed her again, finishing the moment that had been interrupted before. He leaned back afterward and gazed lovingly at her, something she never grew tired of.

"I missed you, too," he said, "I have something for you though. For the both of us, actually." He let go of her as he reached into his bag that kept his work stuff in. He pulled out a small package and handed it to her. Reiben always grabbed the mail when he came home, so Brittany didn't have to bother. She glanced at the address on it and was surprised to see the name Timothy E. Upham written neatly in the top left corner. Seeing the name, she suddenly took more note of the size and shape of the box.

"His book!" she exclaimed, turning away from Reiben and sitting back down in her chair. Brittany tore the box open, her face eager. When it was open she pulled the book out. She set the box aside, staring at the cover, a faraway look in her eyes now. Running her fingers over the letters embossed on the hard surface, a small smile played on her lips. She held it up for Reiben to see. There was a pause while he read the title, and then he chuckled a bit.

"Brotherhood," he said with a smile, "How original." Brittany grinned at him and then opened the book up to the first few pages. The sight of the dedication almost brought tears to her eyes.

"Listen to this," she said to Reiben softly, "To Miller's Eight...Plus One." The two of them exchanged a smile, being some of the very few who would understand.

Turning the more pages in the book Brittany began reading. She read, and she read for the entire night and most of the next day. There was rarely a time other than sleep that she did not have the book in her hands, pouring over the pages like the words were the air she breathed. When she was finished, it was Reiben's turn to read the book, and she did not bother him with questions about it until he was finished. For both of them, the book was a blessing and a curse. Upham was their friend, and he had grown as a person back in Europe. His book told their story as it needed to be told, and that was a more than Brittany could have hoped for. But reading the book was like reliving the events all over again. All the laughter and the adrenaline rushes, and all the pain and the heartache. Reading about Wade almost broke her down, but she weathered through it, and when Reiben had finished the two of them sat in the kitchen one night after the children had all been put to bed. The book lay on the table between them.

"He made me sound like an asshole," Reiben said, pulling a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it. Brittany didn't object, though she had given the habit up when she was pregnant with John. She smiled at him from across the table.

"That's because you are," she said humorously. He smiled back.

"Don't you mean 'were'?"

"No." There was another silence, as the questions and comments they both know were waiting to be brought up became an increasingly heavy thought in their minds. Reiben finally broke it.

"Its not fair," he said in a mumbled voice, staring at the surface of the table. He didn't want to look Brittany in the eye, she knew.

"Reiben," she began, but he wasn't finished.

"No," he said, looking up abruptly, "Don't start spouting some bullshit about how its 'alright' and that he couldn't have done it even if he had wanted to do." He paused to smoke his cigarette a moment. "I mean damn it, Brittany, you were a part of it all! You were the biggest part of it. The story isn't right without you!" He appeared to have blown off all the steam he had built up as he grabbed his head in his hands, cigarette still pluming smoke. Brittany sighed as she pushed her chair back. She walked to her husband, sitting in a chair closer to him and placing a hand on his back. He seemed to relax at her very touch.

"Richard," she said, speaking softly, "We've been over this. Everything that I was a part of over there will forever have a blank spot in it's story. I told you all when I met you that I didn't exist. I was a ghost wandering around in a soldier's uniform. My name is not on any records, its not in any books. Upham did a good thing by writing that book, and I will always be grateful to him, because he at least told the story of the rest of you guys." She paused as she ran her fingers soothingly through his hair. "You knew this was coming. Upham asked before he began writing the book if he was supposed to have me in it and I told him no. General Boeing, God rest his soul, went through too much trouble to get me to France for me to just throw it away so that I could have my name in print, telling the world of my wartime adventures. I refused to disrespect him like that. I will take the secret to the grave."

"No," Reiben said suddenly, looking up at her with intense eyes, "No, you are not going to do that. Our children are going to be told the amazing things their mother did." Brittany sighed, closing her eyes. This was a discussion they had had before, the argument always coming to a stalemate.

"Reiben," she began again wearily.

"No," he said again. This exchange was something of a staple in their relationship. "Brittany thats not fair to our children. I agree that its still too soon for them to know. But one day I plan on sitting them down and telling them everything, because they deserve to know." The way he always spoke about this, made Brittany feel like she was denying him what would be the greatest joy in his life, and that may very well have been the case. But then she reminded herself of her side of the argument, of the promise she had made to General Boeing, and she knew that Reiben could never have his way.

"No," she told him, her voice barely above a whisper now, "Richard you can never tell them. When I am dead and have left this earth forever you can do whatever you want. But as long as there is still a breath left in my body not a word can be said about it." These words stopped Reiben dead in his tracks. He stared at her with an anguished face, as though just the thought of her dead left him crushed. Brittany reached for him, wrapping her arms around him as he did the same. They sat at the kitchen table like this for a long time before they both got up and went to bed. They never had the argument again.

The years passed, and they all lived their lives the best way they were able. Jimmy inherited the farm in Iowa when their mother passed away. Captain Hamill, known by Brittany for years as 'Dad', was moved in with her and Reiben. He lasted another three years before he joined his wife. Brittany was inconsolable for a week after his death. He really had been the only father she knew. Her children grew up, got married, had children of their own. Sean and Jamie remained close the rest of their lives, just like Jimmy and Brittany. For the twins' eighteenth birthday, Brittany invited their family friend Jackson, after whom her son was named, up to the house from Tennessee to celebrate. He brought his wife, Katherine, and their two children, David and Laura. It was the first time their families were together. David and Jamie caught each other's eye and they were together forever afterwards. Their marriage brought everyone together, completing the circle created in Europe.

With their children grown, and their grandchildren getting bigger, Brittany and Reiben found some peace in their lives. They traveled a little, just around the country, and they were happy. In 1975, just a week before the birth of his first grandchild, to be named in his honor, Daniel Jackson was killed in a car accident. According to eye witnesses, he had swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a dog. The blow hit everyone hard, but Brittany felt a particularly strong sting. She had witnessed a miracle save him once, and it seemed exceedingly unfair for something as simple as a car accident to take his life. Upham left the world a few years later, an accident at the factory he worked at was the report, and it just seemed to Brittany that it was her fate to be surrounded by death. In 1986, she got the kind of news a mother dreads. Sean, her youngest son who owned his own shop in Philadelphia had been shot during a hold-up. The culprits ended up being a pair of young boys. He held on long enough for Brittany and Jamie to make it to the hospital, and then he slipped away.

Despite all of this, Brittany got down on her knees everyday of her life and thank God for life he had given her. She had a loving husband, and a wonderful family. He had allowed her to see things in Europe that she never thought she would have seen in her entire life. She was a better person for it, and she had striven to teach her children to go after whatever they wanted. She was proud of each and ever one of them. They were valuable members of society, and they were good parents. That was all she could ask for. In over fifty years of marriage, she and Reiben never once stopped loving each other. They argued like any couple, but they were forever held together by their shared experiences, and she was happy to have spent her life with him. In 1993, at the age of sixty seven, Brittany was diagnosed with severe cancer, and though she lasted another four years, they were spent in and out of hospitals. The treatment exhausted her, leaving her incapable of doing much buy stay at home. There was one thing that she pulled together enough energy to do.

"Brittany, please, just stay home," Reiben pleaded with his wife again as he watched his wife packed a suitcase, "The doctor even told you that this wasn't a good idea." Brittany looked up at him from her pile of clothes, a serious look in her eyes.

"He said that it was possible the trip might be bad for me," she replied, returning her attention to packing, "He also said that if this was something that I really wanted to do I should do it now while I still have the chance." The two met each other's gaze, and she felt bad at the anguished look in her husband's eyes when she said this. She knew it hurt him, but if it was the only way she was going to get him to agree to this then that was what she was going to have to do. It had been three and a half years since her diagnosis, and while the medications they had her on made life comfortable, it had been realized that the battle was not going to be won. At least, thats what Brittany had by now accepted.

"Brittany," Reiben began again.

"No," she said sharply, cutting him off, "We are going on this trip, Richard, and so help me God I don't want to hear another word about it." There was a time when Reiben would have kept fighting back, but now as he watched his wife, who looked so frail and weak even though she did her best not to show it, he knew he could not deny her this last request.

"When does the plane leave again?" he asked with a resolute sigh.

"Seven o'clock in the morning," she told him, "Which means you need to finish packing." Her eyes still on her suitcase, she listened as he walked out of the room and shut the door. Once he was gone, Brittany placed her hands on both sides of the case and took a few deep breaths. Maybe she was crazy.

A few weeks ago, Jimmy had called her to ask he if she and Reiben would like to come with him on a very special trip. He was going back to Normandy, to the cemetery where Captain Miller had been buried. Brittany hadn't known what to think about the idea, but after she thought about it for a day she had quickly agreed and the plans were made. Jimmy's wife was coming, as were two of their children and their grandchildren. Reiben had of course insisted upon going the minute Brittany announced her decision. He'd barely left her side since she had been diagnosed. This was normal, she just wished he wouldn't hold on so tight. It was only going to make it worse when the time came. But there was no reasoning with him on this front. She had won most of their arguments in the past, but this was a battle that would not have a victory. In the end, they both would lose.

Arriving in France was emotional for all three of them. Brittany did the best to hide most of her emotions, since it was not expected of her like it was of Jimmy and Reiben. They were the real veterans. Brittany and her doctor had discussed a more intense medication regimen so that she would have the strength and the energy to make the journey. She still had to hold onto Reiben during most of the walk to the cemetery. It was one of the longest walks of her life. So badly she wanted to cry, could feel the tears forming, but she held them back. Until they got to the grave there were there to visit, and she watched her brother stumble forward and fall to his knees. Her nephew, Andrew was the first one to reach him, and she watched him comfort his father and ask if he was alright. She and Reiben stood back watching with solemn eyes. They both understood Jimmy's emotion, and they both let him work through it on his own.

Standing there, surrounded by the headstones of the men who had given their lives to the war effort, Brittany was flooded with memories. Neuville, Adams, Barton, Mac, the rally point, Wade, and Ramelle. All of it washed over her and she felt her knees turn to jelly. She clutched tighter to Reiben's arm as the tears spilled over and ran down her face. Reiben gave her all the support he could, doing his best to comfort her as she silently cried. She cried for Wade, she cried for Mellish, she cried for everyone she had seen die and all the ones she hadn't. Her tears were for everyone buried in that cemetery, for the regret she felt for not staying to do her part. She let go of her husband, ignoring his protests as she staggered forward to where her brother was still kneeling in front of the stone cross. She knelt beside him, his family moving aside as she did so, wrapped her arms around him and let it all out. She sobbed into his shoulder as he returned the embrace. At some point she pulled herself together and was able to peer blearily at the name carved into the grave marker.

"Captain John H. Miller," she said softly, "Thank you, for everything." Her voice was just audible enough for Jimmy to hear. Brittany stood up, drying her eyes with her sleeve and dusting off her pant legs. She walked back to Reiben who was waiting for her with open arms. Exhausted, she let him turn her around and they went to go catch the shuttle back to the hotel. Her brother and his family joined them shortly afterwards.

Brittany spent the rest of their time in France in her hotel room. They were there for two days after visiting the cemetery, but she just couldn't bring herself to move around much. She felt so tired. Reiben tried insisting that they go home immediately, but she refused to ruin the trip for the rest of them. She tried, futilely she knew, to get Reiben to go sight-seeing with them, but he would hear none of it. Later, she realized that he probably thought that he was going to lose her there in France. Part of her didn't think that would have been so bad. Dying with her friends was part of being a soldier in a way. She was a few years late, but better late than never, right? She did make it back home to Pennsylvania, but the trip had taken its toll. She remained practically bed-ridden only able to be up and walking around the house for a few hours a day. A month after the visit to the cemetery, Brittany passed away quietly in her home, Reiben by her side, supporting her as he always had.

--

The funeral had been hard on Reiben. He had sat stoically in his seat, quiet tears streaming down his face as people stood at the front of the church and spoke about his wife. They spoke of her independence, her spirit, her deep love for her family, and many other good things. But they left out what he had always regarded as the most important part of her life. Her loyalty and determination to do what she thought was right. But that was because nobody was left except for him and Jimmy who knew that story. Brittany had saved his life, had risked hers for her brothers and then for Miller's squad. Her selflessness had been what caught his eye back in Europe. That and her attitude. She put everyone before herself, but she still had a sharp tongue when she wasn't happy with you. God, he had loved her so much. And now she was gone...

The gathering after the funeral was held at their Pennsylvanian home, that now felt so incredibly empty to Reiben, even with all of the people crammed inside. All of his surviving children were there, along with their grandkids. Jimmy and his family were there, and most of their extended Jackson family, along with a few friends. But Brittany's family had always been the friends she kept. Reiben had always thought this was so she could devote extra time to all of them, instead of being surrounded by so many people that she stretched herself out too thin. He wandered through the crowd of people, stopping every few minutes to accept condolences from all of them. He knew they were sincere, and just trying to help, but none if made the hole in his heart go away. He didn't think anything would.

A few days later Reiben was sitting in the bedroom that he had shared with Brittany for over fifty years, staring at a photo of the two of them. He knew he needed to get up and do something, or else he would go crazy, or people would think that he had gone crazy. His daughter, Jamie, and her husband David had offered to stay with him for a week or two to make sure he was alright. He had been too exhausted from the day's events to decline, and so he just let them stay, along with their children. With a heavy sigh he stood and walked from the room, walking out into the living room. It was so quiet in the house, he began to wonder if anyone was ever around. Curious, he peeked into one of the bedrooms and saw all of Jamie's children sitting quietly, scattered around doing various things. Jamie had taken after her mother, having many children. Two of them were grown and living on their own, which left the four which were sitting the room.

"Hey, kids," Reiben said, surprising himself with how normal his voice sounded. All four of them jumped at his words and turned to look at him with wide eyes. He knew this was because both of their parents had given them strict instruction that they were to leave him alone and not disturb him while they stayed there. He smiled and entered the room. There was a chair in the corner that he sat down in. A silence permeated the room for a few moments, and then one of the younger ones, Robert, walked over to him, his eyes bright with what Reiben recognized as curiosity.

"Grandpa," the small boy said, "Where did you meet Grandma?"

"Hush, Robbie!" the oldest one, Brenda, scolded him, glancing cautiously at her grandfather. Reiben's smile just widened as he picked Robert up, the boy was no more than five years old, and set him on his knee. He delighted at his grandson's grin as he did so.

"Well," Reiben began, "I met your mother during the war." This was the real story that they had told his family when the couple had returned from Europe, since it was the only thing that made sense. Except, the story was told with Brittany being a nurse in a military hospital, far away from any battlefields. When he had been "wounded" in the fighting, he had met her there and the two had fallen instantly in love. Now, so many years later, he began to tell his grandchild this same story. Before he could continue, the boy's curiosity got the best of him.

"Did grandma fight in the war?" he asked in awe, staring up at Reiben with big eyes that held nothing but fascination. Reiben started to tell him otherwise, to feed him the same lie that he had so many others, but before he could get the words out of his mouth he watched as the other three children in the room left their activities to come sit in front of him. Even Brenda came to hear the story. There was a long pause as he stared into their patient, yet eager face, his mouth slightly ajar. It was then that he remembered the words of his wife. As long as there is still a breath in my body not a word can be said...

"Grandpa?" Robert finally said, snapping Reiben out of his thoughts. He looks down at his grandson, then at the other children. Slowly, a small smile formed on his lips.

"Yes," Reiben told him, "Your grandmother fought in the war, and I'll tell you the story..."

**THE END**


End file.
